Intimate Vulnerability
by Velvet Storm
Summary: Hermione finds herself in unexpected trouble and tries to find a way out by herself. What happens when she passes out in the hall of Hogwarts? Who finds her and consequently ends up taking care of her? Will it bring them together or push them apart?
1. Discovery

_In the beginning, this story deals with the very sensitive and controversial topic of abortion. If this offends you or if you have serious aversions to abortion in general, I strongly suggest you do not read. I've done my part to warn you, now please do yours in reading responsibly. Flaming a story you have issues with when you were warned ahead of time doesn't look very bright. The idea from this was also taken from a real experience so please keep that in mind when reviewing. And as far as the characters are concerned, it's just yet another avenue in which to bring them closer and cross the barriers that keep them apart. As always I've taken literary liberties because if I don't, they remain apart. Appreciation goes out to all those who have taken the time to review my stories in the past. It makes me thankful I'm not hiding my writing anymore.

* * *

_

Hermione glanced over at the sleeping form that lay next to her in the bed, white sheet covering the bottom half of his pale body, watching as his young and somewhat undefined chest slowly expanded and contracted, and was thankful he was in deep sleep, still in disbelief at what had transpired between them just thirty minutes earlier. She found herself questioning if it really happened because it seemed so absurd given their tumultuous past. For years, they'd hated each other, threatened each other numerous times, having had to be broken apart by teachers. And yet, here she lay beside him in his bed, having just given him her innocence. She inhaled slowly, wondering why she'd chosen him.

She looked away, closing her eyes and shaking her head. Of course she knew the reason why she'd chosen him. He was the most sought after and talked about boy in Hogwarts as far as the girls were concerned. From being an arrogant little prick the first couple years, he had somehow transformed into this sensual, erotic being. Whenever a group of girls were gathered, his name and some recent gossip were not far behind. He was the 'bad boy', which is why the girls wanted him.

Puberty, complete with curiosity and experimentation, had run amuck through her sixth year and into the beginning of seventh. Sixth year ended with many of her classmates excited and giddy as they described their first time, most having had pleasant experiences, only a handful having painful ones. Harry had been one with a pleasant experience and had been reluctant to tell her but found he couldn't keep it from his best friend as he thought it was wonderful. Returning for their last year found Ron telling them both about his first time over the summer and a few more of her classmates, including Ginny who was younger than her, Hermione having to promise not to tell her older brother.

Hermione was determined not to be the last virgin at Hogwarts. Even in the wizarding world, being a virgin was not a title one wanted to keep very long. She already had enough issues with everyone thinking she was the 'brain of Gryffindor' and being approached by her male schoolmates only to be asked for her help with their latest class. She didn't think she was unattractive but something kept the boys away and knew it was the fact her nose had been stuck in a book since she arrived years ago. She couldn't help it though as hunger for knowledge growled inside her. Maybe having Muggle born parents and feeling like she always had to defend herself added something to it too. She was determined to prove to everyone that great wizards didn't have to be _purebloods_.

Her nose wrinkled in disgust as she said it. And here she lay beside one. Even this had been calculated, having studied the facts, at least on her side. After listening to all of her friends and hearing all the rumors, she knew he would be a sure bet as long as she could get his attention. And the past couple years, his attention was only on one thing; girls. And lots of them. She played into that and was relieved when he took the bait, not caring anymore about who was and wasn't pureblood. If they were willing, he was too.

Hermione decided she needed to leave, not sure how long he would sleep, but knowing she didn't want to be there when he awoke. She slipped from the sheets slowly and methodically, listening for any sound, watching for any movement that might prove him awake, silently putting her clothes back on. She didn't regret her decision, actually feeling relieved it was over. She'd never really thought it was a big deal anyway. It was just sex to her. To everyone else, it was a monumental point in life. That's not what she was about anyway. Sexual prowess she did not possess and didn't really care to. She was much more interested in spells and potions and learning all she could about magic.

Running a hand through her hair, attempting to smooth her tousled brown locks, Hermione walked gently across the floor, as not to make a sound, carefully closing the wooden door behind her, hardly able to wait until she reached her dormitory so she could shower.

"Hey I've been looking for you," Ginny greeted when Hermione walked into their bedchamber. "Were you outside? Your face is all flushed."

Fighting a blush that would have matched the coloring on her face already present, Hermione waved her hand. "Oh I was hiding in the library," she said nonchalantly. "You know me, ever the bookworm."

"Oh okay then," Ginny said. "Will you help me with this scroll I have to write?"

"Let me shower," Hermione said, rushing to get clean clothes. "Then I'll help you."

* * *

As Hermione went through her daily routines of classes and homework, she wondered if he'd said anything to anyone. It really wouldn't have mattered if he did. She had no problem admitting it but wasn't running to tell her friends either. It just wasn't her. Conversation would come up where she could tell them. In a few days perhaps.

She avoided eye contact with him as much as possible, accidentally catching a wink from him once in awhile, smiling and looking away as quickly as she could. She was assuming he was looking for a repeat performance and, while it had been rather good she guessed, she wasn't ready for another go. That one sufficed. She was sure as she got a little older her priorities would change and then she'd be more interested. For now, graduation was the priority and absolutely nothing would change that.

* * *

"Ron, must you make the clicking sound?" she asked visibly annoyed as a group was scattered about the common room studying and doing homework.

Wide eyes looked at her in surprise. "What?" he asked innocently, unaware of what he'd been doing.

"Whatever you're doing with your mouth," she threw at him. "It's terribly aggravating." Her head bent down towards her book to pick up where she'd left off reading.

Ron glanced at Harry who confirmed, "You were doing something, Ron."

He made a face and said, "Sorry then." It wasn't the first time she'd been snippy with him but decided not to say anything. She was in a mood and it was just better to leave her alone, figuring she'd be better the next day as it was Saturday and everyone was going to Hogsmeade.

Hermione didn't go to Hogsmeade, saying she was 'just tired' when everyone inquired why she wasn't going. She saw no point really. She still had one scroll to finish and four chapters to read before Monday and didn't see how drinking butterbeer and buying sugar sweets would help her with it. With the common room empty and silent, it would be perfect for her to finish her studies.

"Harry," Ron said as they entered Zonko's Joke Shop. "Does Hermione seem a little more…high-strung than usual?"

"A bit I guess," Harry answered. "She does have more classes than we do though."

"I know," Ron said. "She just…I dunno…doesn't seem like herself."

Harry smiled. "She's just stressed out," he excused. "You know how she gets. Especially with this being our last year and all."

Ron hoped that's all it was. Even though it had never worked between them as far as dating, he still cared for her a great deal.

* * *

"Well, well, Miss Granger," Professor Snape hissed when she walked in ten minutes late. "Care to share with the class the reason for your tardiness?" His voice was low and even, his thin lips forming a straight line as his dark eyes bore into her, watching her walk over and sit beside of Harry, noticing her face was pale.

"No I wouldn't care to," she told him, defiance in her eyes, attitude in her tone and glaring back at him as she pulled out her parchment.

His eyes narrowed and lips sneered when he said, "You insufferable little…thirty points from Gryffindor!" He turned around, heading for his desk.

"What?" she shrieked in shock. "That's ridiculous!" There was no way she would tell the entire class she'd been throwing up in the bathroom.

Whipping around, surprised by her outburst, he asked quietly, "Care to make it fifty, Miss Granger?"

Harry put his hand on her forearm, silently warning her to remain quiet, thankful she did, glancing at Ron on the other side of her with wide questioning eyes. It wasn't like her to talk back, especially to Snape.

As Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny left the Hall after dinner on their way to the common room, Harry decided to ask Hermione if anything was wrong. Little things seemed out of place with her that he didn't understand. How she'd been recently was extremely out of character for her, even with stress.

"Hermione," he began as they briskly walked, ignoring the portraits as they talked when they passed. "You've not been yourself lately and we're really concerned. Is something wrong? You know you can tell us."

She shook her head. "I'm fine, really," she told them. "Sorry if I seem a little off. I'm fighting a cold or something and have so much schoolwork to do. Everything is just catching up with me I guess."

"Maybe you should go see Poppy," Ron offered. "She could take care of the cold part."

"I could try to help with some of your work," Ginny offered with a small smile.

"I appreciate it," she told her friends. "But I'll be fine. Really."

* * *

A week later as Hermione sat in her Dark Arts class, her stomach began to cramp. _Great_, she thought. _Just what I need now. And with no necessities. Sometimes I hate being a girl. _Trying to remember what the date was, she realized it was that time. _Wonderful._ Thankful when class ended, she rushed to the nearest bathroom, expecting to find proof of her cramps but discovered nothing. _Interesting_, she thought. _Must not have hit yet._ _That works out well._

Hermione spotted Ginny in the hall as she always did on her way to Transfiguration and flagged her down. "Do you have any…uh…necessities?" she asked, raising an eyebrow, hoping the younger girl would catch her meaning.

"Not paying attention to the calendar again?" Ginny teased, fumbling through her bag, happy to help her friend, handing her what she needed.

"Thank you," Hermione said, quickly slipping it into her own bag. "I owe ya."

Paying attention to Professor McGonagall was near impossible as Hermione felt quick sharp pains in her stomach. _Not like my usual cramps_, she thought. _But they still hurt like hell._ She brewed pain elixir for such times but didn't have any with her as she hadn't been thinking about it and now there was no way to run all the way across the castle to her dormitory and run all the way back for Potions, not without being late and probably getting detention from Snape. _Dammit_, she thought.

_Maybe if I ask nice enough, he'll give me something_, she thought, quickly leaving Transfiguration, determined to be early to Potions. _He has to have something I could take for pain_. She hated to ask but pain wasn't something she tolerated very well and knew that if she didn't give him one hundred and fifty percent of her attention, he would yell at her and take points away and with the way she'd been feeling lately, she'd end up in detention for telling him to go to hell. Better to just ask.

Hermione was relieved when she walked into the classroom and saw only a couple other students, putting her books down at the table where she usually sat.

"Miss Granger," he scowled from his desk in the corner, lifting only his dark eyes towards her. "I'm honored. You're actually early."

She walked over towards his desk, playing with her hands. _Just ask him_, she told herself. "Professor…I was wondering…do you have some type of…pain elixir I could take…just a little bit of?" she asked quietly.

He lifted his head then, strands of black falling to place as his eyes scanned her. "You don't seem to be in pain," he observed, corners of his mouth curling up in annoyance.

"But I am," she told him. "My…stomach hurts…please…I just need a little bit. It affects me…being able to pay attention like I should."

Putting his quill down beside the papers he was grading, Professor Snape said, "Well we certainly can't have that, Miss Granger, now can we?" He stood up, black cloak flowing behind him, walking over to a small cabinet in the back of the classroom with Hermione following him.

She watched as he pulled out a handful of small vials, studying each before handing her one with green liquid in it. "Just a few sips," he instructed. "This is a powerful potion."

Hermione did as she was told and gave the vile back, immediately feeling warmth spread through her body. "Thank you," she said with a small smile, quickly finding her seat. _One more class_, she thought. _Then I can go lay down and feel better_.

* * *

Two days later, Hermione found herself very confused and scared. While her stomach was still cramping, occasionally sending a reminder flash of pain through her abdomen, nothing else was happening and she didn't understand. Cramps never lasted two days with nothing to follow nor did they feel as they usually did. _Well I have been under a great deal of stress, _she thought. _I know that has an effect on it. And who knows what was in that elixir of Snape's I took. Maybe there was an ingredient in there that has pushed it off a couple days. I'll wait a few more days and see what happens. _

Harry, Ron and Ginny knew something was wrong but their friend wasn't telling them anything. They noticed how she'd wince as if in pain once in awhile, her answer to their questions of concern always being that she was fine, and how during classes her mind seemed elsewhere, which was definitely not like the studious Hermione, always one step ahead of the teacher. They'd also noticed her mood swings and were never sure which version they'd get, either the snappy one or the nice one.

Ginny decided to approach her one night as they were getting ready for bed. Since Hermione had been halfway pleasant through the evening, she thought now was the time for some 'girl talk'.

"Can I talk to you a minute?" Ginny asked as they changed into their nightclothes.

"Of course," Hermione answered slipping her nightgown over her head, lifting her thick brown hair out from underneath with both hands then flopping down to her bed.

Sitting down beside her, Ginny said gently, "Hermione, I know something is wrong, more than just stress about school." She paused. "Are you sick?"

With a sigh, Hermione answered, "I don't know."

Ginny thought for a moment. "Has anything different happened in the past month?" she asked curiously, figuring that was about how long her friend had been acting funny.

Biting her lip. Hermione thought this was perhaps the time to tell about her recent experience with a certain someone. "Well…actually…yeah something did happen," she admitted with a small smile.

Ginny noticed her look and the twinkle in her eyes. "Did you…" she began to ask in surprise. "No…you didn't…did you?"

Hermione nodded as Ginny started laughing.

"Bitch!" Ginny said with a laugh. "Why the bloody hell didn't you tell me? You've had me going out of my mind worrying about you and all you did was get laid!"

Hermione laughed at the girl's reaction. "Sorry didn't mean to worry you," she said.

"So?" Ginny prompted. "You must tell me. Who was it? How was it? Details!"

Hermione laughed, taking the next few minutes to provide enough detail to satisfy her curiosity, amused by her giggling and wide eyes.

"You little hussy," Ginny said still giggling. "Was he good though? I've heard quite a few stories about him."

"And what do I have to compare it to?" Hermione asked. "I guess he was. He wants to do it again but I don't."

"And why not? I would!" Ginny exclaimed. "Can I take your place?"

"No you can't," Hermione told her. "Besides I haven't been feeling good. I think I'm getting sick or something. I should go see Poppy soon."

"You seem to be in pain once in awhile," Ginny said. "You look sometimes like you're wincing."

"I am," she agreed. "My stomach hurts."

"Your cramps were days ago," Ginny said confused.

"I know. That's what's weird," Hermione said. "Nothing's happened."

"Nothing?"

Hermione shook her head. "I took some pain elixir of Snape's the other day though," she offered. "I have no idea what that god awful man put in it."

Ginny face fell into deep concern. "Did you use a protection spell?" she asked.

"Of course."

"Who cast it?"

"He did."

Ginny was worried now. "Hermione, I think you should go see Poppy tomorrow morning," she said gravely. "Forget classes and everything and just go. This sounds like…I mean…well you might be…"

"What?" Hermione said, not liking the look on her friend's face.

"You need to make sure you're not…pregnant," Ginny said quietly, eyes apologetic.

Hermione's eyes grew wide with shock. "Pregnant?" she repeated. "Oh I highly doubt that. It's probably just stress."

"Well it all seems a little odd," Ginny said. "Your mood swings, cramps with nothing to show for them and the fact he cast the protection spell. What if he was trying to get back at you? Even subconsciously or something? This could be serious."

Hermione forced a smile. "I'm sure I'll be fine," she reassured the girl. "Now we both have early classes so let's go to bed. Don't worry about me."

As she slipped between the cool cotton sheets, hearing the rustling of Ginny doing the same, thankful for the darkness when the lights went out per her friend's command, Hermione found herself unable to fall asleep. Pregnant. Could she be? No, it had to be stress. It had only been her first time and they did use a spell. Why should she be pregnant? And that was the last thing she needed now anyway. Her studies and graduation were the only priorities she had at this point in life. She wasn't even sure if she ever wanted children but knew she certainly didn't want any now. It had to be stress. It had to be.

But as the darkness closed around her, that word lingered in the back of her mind like a splinter, demanding attention and throbbing, causing everything around to swell up in fever. Making a mental note, she decided to visit her favorite place and find out how to diagnose herself to find out if she was or wasn't. Once she'd confirmed she wasn't, then she'd go see Poppy to try and find out what was really wrong.

* * *

As her fingers lightly touched the leather covered spines, her eyes scanned the names of each book. _Yes this should tell me, _she thought, taking _Basic Wizard Medicine_ from the dusty shelf. She flipped the first couple pages to skim the index, immediately flipping more pages until she came to the chapter of pregnancy. _Come on, come on_, she thought as her eyes scanned over the words. _Yes! This is it! To determine if someone is pregnant,_ she read. _Point your wand to the patient's abdomen and use the spell 'Lumos Natalimate'. Allow the wand tip to hover as it will cast a blue glow over the stomach area. If it turns yellow, the patient is pregnant. If it remains blue, the patient is not pregnant. There is no mistake possible with this method._

"Hermione, what are you doing in the medicine section?"

Snapping the book closed and whipping around, she saw Ron looking at her with a curious expression on his face. Heart pounding, she tried to calm herself before answering. "I was…looking up…a potion for my headache," she quickly lied, knowing she could do better.

"Oh," he said. "Are you feeling any better?"

She forced a smile. "I'll be fine," she answered as she usually did, grateful when he walked away. _That was close, _she thought as she left the library in a rush, heading for the girls bathroom that was never used, thanks to Moaning Myrtle. She could perform the spell there without being interrupted to confirm she wasn't pregnant and then go see Poppy.

Classes could wait at this point as she was further ahead than most anyway and missing one certainly wouldn't do any damage. Quickly she made her way around the halls and down stairs, dangerously close to the dungeons, thankful all the students and teachers were in classes so she wouldn't be seen. Once inside the vacant and unused bathroom, she pulled out her wand, pointing it at herself and quickly muttering, "Lumos Natalimate!"

_This is silly, _she thought to herself, watching the sky blue colored glow surround her stomach. _I know I'm not preg…_

She watched in horror as the blue glow began to swirl and circle, slowly melting and changing into a bright shade of yellow.

Immediately her heart began to pound as her stomach churned with nausea. "No," she said out loud in disbelief. "No it can't be. I can't be…"

She ended the spell, performing it again, achieving the same result, dropping her wand to the tile floor in shock. _Oh no, what am I going to do, _she thought. _I don't understand. We used a protection spell. Why didn't it work? He certainly wouldn't have done this on purpose, not Mr. Loverboy himself. Should I tell him? No I can't tell him. He wouldn't care and it would be all over the school in minutes that the 'brain of Gryffindor' was knocked up. No, I can't tell a soul, not one. Should I keep it? Of course I shouldn't keep it. I don't even want it. I'm not interested in children. But how do I get rid of it? A potion or a spell…there has to be one I could find to get rid of this thing. _

"Have you come to join me?" Moaning Myrtle asked, floating down to where Hermione had slumped to the floor. "You don't look very good."

As the initial shock of her discovery was wearing off, intense emotion took its place. Looking at the apparition before her, Hermione's eyes filled with tears. "I'll be okay," she said quietly, quickly wiping salty droplets with the back of her hands, trying to fight the urge to throw herself on the floor in a tirade of sobs. Her breaths had shortened and consequently was near a panic attack as she grabbed her wand and ran from the bathroom, headed for her dormitory as it would be empty and she could be alone.

Even though the hallways were full of students and teachers, Hermione was oblivious to them all as tears burned her face, her hair and cloak swishing behind her as she ran. She was pregnant and in disbelief. Brilliant Hermione Granger had managed to get herself knocked up.

"Hermione!" Harry yelled when she blew past him. "What's wrong?"

She kept running. As she turned her last corner before the staircase that would lead to her destination, she nearly ran into Professor Sprout and Professor Snape.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor!" he bellowed, as he had to jump out of her way or be knocked down.

Hermione didn't care if he took away every single point Gryffindor had. She had a crisis on her hands. Pregnant. That word repeated itself over in her head like a bad song that one couldn't forget. Up the stairs she ran, nearly yelling her password at the portrait, eliciting a gasp from the woman, hastily opening to allow Hermione inside. Straight up to her bedchamber she ran, collapsing on the bed in a fit of rage and fear, quickly wetting her pillow with tears, as she cried and pounded the mattress with her fist. _Why? _Her voice screamed inside her head. _Why did this happen? How did this happen? Why now? What do I do? I can't keep it. But how do I get rid of it? What will happen? What if there are complications? What if I can't find anything to get rid of it? _

A couple hours later, Hermione awoke, wondering when she'd fallen asleep, finding her face stained with dried tears, her bloodshot eyes burning and her throat hurting. She got up from her bed and headed for the bathroom, washing her face and brushing her hair. As she stared at herself in the mirror, she realized just how awful she looked. How was she going to hide _this?_ Harry had seen her running through the hall and knew she'd be bombarded with questions from him later as well as from other classmates who hadn't seen her all day. What would she say that would sound convincing? Maybe she could say she was sick, which would explain her pale skin and the frenzy in her eyes, and just not tell them any details.

Hermione left the dormitory, headed once again for the library. She needed to begin research into solving this abominable problem she had as it was imperative to get rid of it as soon as possible. She couldn't afford for it to affect her studies as that would be unacceptable by her standards. As she practically stomped through the halls, she realized her fear was quickly transforming into anger. If that prick had done this to her on purpose, he'd pay dearly. How dare he perform the spell wrong? He had better hope it was all a mistake. If she ever caught wind of the slightest notion it had been on purpose…

WHAM. Two bodies crashed together causing both to fall.

"Miss Granger!" Professor Snape hissed, slowly standing up, adjusting his cloak around him, black strands of hair framing his scowling face. "What is the meaning of this? I should assign you detention for the next month!" He toward above her, glaring through angry black eyes.

Returning his hatred from her own unbridled rage, Hermione narrowed her eyes. "I don't give a damn what you do!" she exclaimed, quickly getting up and walking away from him.

Drawing his wand, aiming at her, Professor Snape warned, "You will come back here this instant or I will make you by force." Each word was said slowly and distinctly, contempt dripping from each syllable.

Hearing his threat, Hermione spun around, rage blazing in her dark eyes. "What?" she snapped, crossing her arms.

The teacher studied her for a moment, never having seen her like this. While he wasn't particularly found of her and would have enjoyed nothing more than forcing her to clean his classroom and everything in it for the next month, a deeper instinct told him there was something very wrong. "Would you care to enlighten me as to what your problem is today?" he asked. "First you nearly knock over me and Professor Sprout and now you actually succeed with me. And this attitude…" He paused. "It's not like you."

"People can change," she quipped, raising her eyebrows to make her point, mentally daring him. "Do whatever you have to do. I really don't care right this moment."

Indignant, Professor Snape bit back his want to assign her detention and instead forced himself to say, "Miss Granger. I will allow this little…_display_ of anger and pretend I didn't notice your insolence." He lowered his voice and added, "And whether you like it or not, I am still a teacher at Hogwarts, and if you are in some kind of trouble, it is your responsibility to tell me, or another teacher, so that appropriate action can be taken. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

He noticed her lip was quivering but unsure if the cause was sadness or anger, assuming the latter. "Very well," he said. "Do not expect such…_kindness_ again for the next outburst from you _will_ end up in detention."

As Hermione retreated from him, continuing on her way, he watched as she walked, his expression showing confusion. In seven years of teaching her, he'd never witnessed such intense emotion from her, choosing to keep him mind closed, knowing he could have learned the truth if he'd wanted to. He would keep an eye on her the next few days though, unable to shake the uneasy feeling around him.

Not having much time to spend in the library, Hermione returned to the common room, still quite upset, not able to find what she was looking for yet. When she walked in, she noticed that everyone stopped talking and turned to look at her. _What is their problem_, she thought, thoroughly frustrated. She wasn't in the mood to talk and headed towards the staircase that led to her bedchamber.

"Hermione," Harry called out, hurrying over to her. "You weren't in any of your classes today. And when I saw you in the hall…"

"Did you tell everyone I was crying?" she accused, anger obvious in her tone. "Was everybody talking about me just now? Is that why they stopped when I walked in? Can't a girl just be sick without it turning into the popular topic of conversation?"

"Well…I…we're just…very worried," Harry said sweetly. "We've been friends a long time and been through quite a lot together and…well…we've never seen you like this. You can't blame us for making sure you're all right."

"I've just got a…a cold is all," Hermione lied. "And with my studies, I have more pressure than what I'm used to and…"

"Geez Hermione, we all have more stress this year," Ron said upset, unsure how to show it. "You act like you're the only one with any issues. All we want to do is help, if we can."

"Well you can't!" she exclaimed, stomping her way up the stone stairs. "So just leave me alone!"

Harry turned to face everyone's confused glances. "That went well," he said dryly. "Ron, maybe next time you should just let me handle it."

Ron made a face. "Sorry mate," he said. "But I don't get it."

"Neither do I," Harry agreed. "Come on, we've got schoolwork to finish."


	2. Difficult Ending

_Thanks for the reviews. I appreciate them always! Remember to read responsibly...touchy subject ahead..._

_

* * *

_

Professor Snape observed Hermione over the next few days, not liking what he saw. She seemed lost, in her own world, practically ignoring all her friends, even Potter and Weasley, keeping to herself and being extremely quiet in class, not raising her hand to volunteer any answers. Even during meals, she kept her eyes on her plate, only eating a few bites, pushing the rest around with her fork, leaving before everyone else did. He even heard a few students whispering about her as he passed through the halls. He was tempted to corner her and probe her mind to determine just what was going on but decided not to with her sudden flashes of anger. Finding himself genuinely concerned for a student, the teacher wasn't quite sure how to handle the situation. All he knew was that she was surrounded by darkness and sadness that he recognized all too easily, and wanted to know why.

Hermione had poured over every medical book she could find to locate some spell or potion she could use but was shocked to find only one that she thought had a chance of working. The combination of certain ingredients induced labor and was the closest thing she could find that might end her problem. It took a number of days to gather what she needed and another couple days to brew everything, trying to ignore the ever-nosey questions of Moaning Myrtle as she hid in the bathroom to make her potion. She had to do this and soon.

* * *

Friday night was the chosen night for Hermione to take her potion, as there would be no class the next day incase something did go wrong. She slowly made her way down to the bathroom, creeping along, making sure no one saw her, realizing just how miserable the past few days had been. During the daytime, everyone would stare at her, whisper behind her back and blatantly avoid her. She sat alone in her bedchamber every night, barely civil when Ginny came in to sleep andhaving ignored everyone else, well aware of what was inside her, scared of what the pains shooting through her abdomen meant, praying that she wouldn't miscarry in the middle of a class. That was all she needed. 

Once safely inside the bathroom, Hermione pulled a vial out from her robe and stared at it, still unable to believe she was doing this.

"Committing suicide?" Moaning Myrtle asked with a smile. "Can I watch?"

"That's not what I'm doing," Hermione told the invasive ghost. "And no you can't."

With that, the ghost frowned and dove into a toilet, a shrill scream following her.

The liquid in the vial was murky and dark and none too pleasing to look at, and she was quite certain the taste wouldn't be good either. But it didn't matter. It had to be done, or rather undone in this case. Taking a deep breath, she quickly forced herself to swallow the liquid that was the consistency of applesauce and then waited for something. She'd stashed a few extra necessities in her cloak, prepared for anything.

Minutes later, she was holding onto the side of a toilet, throwing up repeatedly, her throat raw and sore. Tears streamed down her face as she wiped her eyes and mouth with toilet paper, thinking that this wasn't exactly what she had in mind. She was expecting the other end to be the area affected. Throwing up certainly wouldn't fix her problem.

With no warning, pain seared through her abdomen, like a knife was stabbing into her, causing her to wrap her arms around her stomach and cry out in pain. She fought to breathe as the pain was excruciating, her stomach spasming and convulsing. "Please hurry," she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut, tears spilling from them. "Please be quick. I can't handle this. Please…" She'd fought to remain quiet but the pain caused her to scream, nearly freezing her in the fetal position. Sweat broke out on her forehead as she was beginning to feel dizzy, continuing to clutch her stomach.

_I'm dying_, she thought._ The brilliant Hermione Granger has gone and killed herself after getting herself knocked up first._ The pain tearing through her body was horrible, and she thought for a brief moment that if death had occurred right then, it would have been welcomed. _What do I do_, she thought. _What if I've done something to myself? I'll never make it to the hospital wing on the other side of the school. _

"Help me," she whispered in agony. "Help me please…please…help me…someone."

* * *

Realizing she must have passed out, Hermione awoke on the hard tile floor, cold sweats shaking her body, the threat of vomiting again too close for comfort while her heart raced and heart pounded, feeling more scared than she'd ever been in her life. _Got to find someone, anyone_, she heard in her mind. _Got to tell them what I did before it's too late._

Rolling over, Hermione slowly pushed herself up to her hands and knees, fighting for consciousness as the room spun around her. She stood up, staggering and nearly falling, grabbing onto the sinks to steady herself. Glancing in the mirror and trying to focus her eyes, she noticed just how bad she looked. Her eyes were wide and vacant, her skin was white as a ghost, she was trembling and her nose had started bleeding, quickly realizing as she stood that it wasn't the only area bleeding. _What did I do to myself? Does this mean it worked?_

Each step required a tremendous amount of effort; effort her body could barely produce. After agonizing steps to the door, she fell once she was in the hall, clutching her stomach in pain again. "Help," she whispered, struggling to get up again, her hand sliding down damp stone. "Please." The hallway began to spin and soon everything was dark once more.

* * *

Professor Binns was floating through the halls, making sure everything was as it should be when he spotted something on the ground. As he floated nearer, he saw it was a girl curled up in a ball. 

"Miss Granger!" he exclaimed, recognizing her. "Miss Granger, wake up!"

She didn't move.

"Oh my," he said worried. "What to do…what to do." He looked around, realizing he needed to get someone quick, not knowing what was wrong with her. The dungeons were closest and that meant alerting Professor Snape of her condition. He hated to but was afraid time was not of the essence.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing just floating into my classroom unannounced?" Professor Snape exclaimed when he saw Professor Binns emerge through the wooden door. "How dare you, you incompetent…!"

"Please," the ghost pleaded. "You must come. It's an emergency. A student has collapsed by the girls' bathroom. Please, you're the closest teacher and I don't know what's wrong with her."

Still annoyed but understanding the immediate concern, Professor Snape asked, "Who is it?"

"Miss Granger."

In a flash, Professor Snape jumped up from his desk, forgetting to be cross with the ghost for disturbing him, and rushed from the classroom, following Professor Binns down the hall and around the corner, seeing the ball on the floor that was Hermione.

"What happened?" Professor Snape asked, kneeling beside her body, quickly checking for a pulse and examining her wrists. Knowing how she'd been the past few weeks, he was thankful he found no marks or cuts.

"I don't know," Professor Binns answered, wringing his hands in worry. "I found her like this as I was patrolling the halls on my rounds."

He checked her face, noticing the nosebleed, but saw nothing that he thought would have caused her to pass out. "I will take Miss Granger back to my classroom," Professor Snape announced, picking up the lifeless body from the floor. "You will not repeat what you saw to anyone. Is that understood?"

"Oh yes," Professor Binns answered timidly. "Inescapably."

Professor Snape carried Hermione to his classroom, at first planning to lay her on a table and then thinking that wasn't the most comfortable choice, carried her through the classroom to his own chamber, gently placing her on the couch by the fireplace. Assuming maybe someone had performed a spell on her, he pointed his wand and said, "Finite incantatem."

Nothing.

_Damn_, he thought, checking her cloak pockets and finding female necessities, which he left where they were, and a piece of paper with potion ingredients listed. _You foolish, silly girl. What were you brewing and why?_

Retrieving a restoration elixir from his personal collection, he knelt by her, slipping his hand under her head, through the soft curls, and lifted gently, pressing the vial to her pale lips, immediately catching liquid with the back of his hand that slipped from the corners of her mouth. "Come on," he whispered, finding his heart was racing with concern. "You must tell me what you did so I can help you."

Seconds later, her eyes fluttered open, pupils extremely dilated, glancing around in confusion. "Where am I?" she asked, trying to sit up.

"Miss Granger," Professor Snape said. "You were found on the floor passed out by the girls' bathroom. You need to tell me what you were doing down here."

Hermione turned to look at him, all four of him, but everything was spinning around her again. Hands immediately clutched her stomach once more, pain continuing to sear through her abdomen, feeling as if she was being ripped in half. She cried out, her nose starting to bleed again, her face distorted with intense pain. "Make it stop," she cried, tears falling from her eyes. "Please…make it stop!"

He was shaken, not able to understand what was going on, wincing as he watched her roll back and forth, arms around her body. "You must tell me," he insisted. "What did you do? What did you take?"

Hermione could hear him talking to her but wasn't able to comprehend his questions or answer him.

Realizing his inquiries and her inability to answer them would get them nowhere, Professor Snape allowed his mind to open and tap into hers temporarily, long enough to discover what had happened. Images flashed through his mind…Hermione in bed with a boy he couldn't see…talking with Ginny…sick in the bathroom…discovering her pregnancy…_pregnancy_?…yelling at everyone…feeling depressed…in the library looking up potions to get rid of it…hiding from everyone…brewing the potion in the bathroom…terrible pain…then darkness.

"You're a fool," he hissed in anger. "You never should have done this."

Hermione didn't hear him. "Going…to…be…sick," she panted, wincing with pain.

"Wonderful," Professor Snape said with dripping sarcasm, pointing his wand to the container by the desk. "Accio trash bin," he said, setting it down and then turning away as she reached for it, closing his eyes in disgust listening to her, extremely tempted to take her to the hospital wing.

With the knowledge of her condition and understanding she wasn't planning on telling anyone, he couldn't bring himself to take her to the hospital now, thinking she would be extremely upset later when she discovered he'd involved another at this time. _Damn her_, he thought hatefully. _Not that prenatal care or the dissolution of such is my area of expertise but I certainly could have prevented this. _He headed to the bathroom, grabbing a cloth to run under cold water and, after wringing it out, returned to find Hermione lying down again, trash bin discarded to the side.

Not looking, Professor Snape pointed his wand inside the bin and said, "Evanesco," and then focused his attention on Hermione, wiping her forehead and face, applying more pressure to the dried blood under her nose and down her chin.

"Make it stop," she cried, writhing in discomfort. "It's killing me…please."

He noticed her eyes didn't look quite as vacant as when she first awoke. "Miss Granger," he said, gently shaking her shoulders. "Miss Granger?"

She looked at him again. "Professor…Snape," she said slowly. "Hurts so bad…make it...go away."

"I know what you did," he confessed, finding it hard to believe she had gotten herself pregnant. "But I cannot reverse the potion. I'm afraid you will have to wait this one out."

"No…please," she continued. "I can't handle the pain…I can't…oh god…" She scrambled for the trash bin again, dry heaves producing nothing. Tears wet her face as she cried and sobbed, setting the bin back down.

He felt bad for her but was helpless as he remained beside her. If she had come to him first, he could have done more for her. Now it was too late. Given the potion she took and when he assumed she took it, the pain couldn't last much longer. It had to be over soon. He hoped. He felt sorry for her, knowing the personal hell she'd been through, having caught flashes of it when he opened his mind to hers. He felt somewhat uncomfortable, thinking a woman would have been much better to handle this situation, but knew Hermione had intended on keeping this private. As uneasy as he felt, he would not bring another into this now. His knowledge was too much already but she needed help. He could always perform a spell so that she forgot he knew, if she wanted him to.

"Hot," Hermione breathed, trying to fan herself. "Hot…too hot."

Pressing his pale hand to her forehead, he realized she was burning up. He hoped this was the end of her torment drawing near, that after the fever broke she'd start to feel better. He slipped his arm under her back and lifted her up so she was sitting, removed her cloak and then laid her back down, hoping that would help. After a few moments of her still trying to fan herself, he realized it wasn't enough and removed her shoes and socks, smirking at her blue toenail polish before scolding himself. He palmed a couple places on her leg and arm, feeling a fire under her skin, knowing what he needed to do with her before the fever worsened.

"Miss Granger," he said again, shaking her shoulders gently as she was slipping in and out of consciousness. "Miss Granger!"

Her eyes opened half way, barely looking at him. "Do you trust me?" he asked, realizing how crazy it sounded to be asking her that question. If the fever didn't go down, she could end up with worse problems than she had now.

"Yes," she whispered, feeling as if her head would explode. "Please help me, Severus."

_Did she just call me by my first name_, he thought as he headed towards the bathroom, running a cold bath in the porcelain tub, sitting for a few minutes, watching the water level slowly rise. Images ran through his mind of slipping her clothing off to put her in the water, quickly shaking his head. _I am a professional_, he reminded himself. _I can do this. This is a medical emergency._

He was also a man about to see a youngwoman naked.

_How dare you_, he chastised himself. _She needs your help. You know what a serious potion she inflicted upon herself. You wouldn't be able to live with yourself if something happened to her while in your care. She's dependent upon you since you decided to keep her here. _

Returning to her writhing body, he picked her up again and carried her into the bathroom. He tried to help her stand but her legs wouldn't hold her so he knelt on one knee, resting her on the other, and began the task of remove her clothing. He lifted her robe, struggling to get her arms out of it as her muscles were limp, her body continually falling towards him. Tossing that aside, her body pressing against his chest, he reached around and fumbled with her bra closure to unhook it, then pressed her from him to slip it from her lifeless arms, attempting to not stare at her breasts exposed to him. He closed his eyes while sliding down her underwear, not needing to see but well aware of the blood she'd lost already, hoping maybe her issue had already resolved itself and all that remained were the effects of the potion. He picked up her slender body and placed her in the cold water, infusingit with a healing spell from his wand, then performed a _'scourgify'_ spell on her clothing.

Thinking the porcelain might be quite hard against her head, he reached for a towel, folding it up and placing it under her brown mane, then took another washcloth and dipped it in the water, squeezing soothing cold droplets onto her neck and shoulders, also wiping her face and forehead. He tried not to look at her nakedness before him, tried not to stare at her creamy white skin, her small mounds of flesh tipped with responsive nipples…._Stop it this instant,_ he reprimanded himself. _How could you be thinking such things? You are her teacher and right now trying to help her out of a dangerous situation. _But as hard as he fought to ignore her beauty and the fact he was physically aroused by her, he found himself internally admitting his attraction, both surprised and disgusted with himself.

Minutes passed, Severus continuing sponging water over her body, until Hermione opened her eyes, focusing on him. She smiled slightly, thankful the pounding had stopped and the pain had decreased, but felt weak and out of sorts. After licking her dry lips, she said, "Feel…better."

He smiled a little, his own reaction catching him off guard. "Good," he said relieved. "You've had me worried, Miss Granger." He felt her forehead again, thankful the fire was gone. "How's the pain?" he asked, not able to stop himself as he touched her cheek with the outside of his fingers. Even though she was an independent young woman, she was like a child now, helpless and needing comfort. And he wanted to provide that comfort. _Are you losing it Severus, _he questioned himself. _Do you even know how to comfort anyone?_

"Still hurts," she answered. "But better." She swallowed, realizing her throat was dry. "Thirsty," she told him.

He quickly fetched a glass of water and held it to her lips, noticing their color had returned, watching as she sipped slowly. "Do you want to get out?" he asked.

"Yes," she answered. "Little cold."

Setting down the glass, he asked, "Can you do it by yourself?" Now that she was somewhat better and with the torment of pain and fever hopefully behind her, he didn't think it proper to see her in a compromised position. Once had caused enough problems, knowing visions of her would plague him for days.

"Don't know," she answered, trying to stand up. "Awfully weak." She managed to rise about halfway before losing her balance, Severus catching her wet body quickly. He held her for a moment, gazing down into her brown eyes, wanting to keep her close and tell her she was all right now. _Dammit, you old fool_, his brain yelled at him. _She'll probably just hate you later anyway!_

"Apparently not," he said, keeping his arm around her body to steady her as she stepped from the tub. _Don't look_, he reminded himself. _Don't look at her taut body and…god those breasts would feel so firm in my hands and…Stop, stop, stop! You're going to embarrass yourself! Has it been so long since you've seen a woman?_

As her fingers fastened around his covered forearms to keep her balance, her body shivered from the cold air on her wet skin, her hardened nipples proof, while Severus quickly wrapped a towel around her, drying her skin, extremely hesitant as he felt a stirring in his lower region that he fought like hell to resist, knowing full contact with her entire naked body was separated only by one piece of cloth. Kneeling down in front of her with her hands on his shoulders for support, he finished wiping the water from her legs and feet, having worked his way down her body, and then allowed his eyes the deliciously naughty freedom to slowly scan back up the beauty before him, taking in her thighs and the small dark triangle between them, the smooth skin tight across her hips and thin waist, the pebbled nipples perched atop firm mounds of flesh, the creamy white shoulders covered by locks of luscious brown hair, his eyes purposely meeting with hers, wanting her dark depths to see his attraction if only for an instant, wondering if she'd remember later.

After wrapping the towel around her body, like covering a Christmas present with tissue paper as not to be seen yet, he picked her up and walked to his bed, enjoying feeling her once again in his arms, her hands clasped around his neck, fully intrigued when he noticed her pools of brown never strayed from his, even when he placed her against the pillows.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, pulling the sheets over her, fighting a blush from his actions in the bathroom. _What was his problem?_

"No," she answered quietly. "The pain has stopped though. Is it gone?"

"The…you mean…your problem?" he asked, not really sure what to call it.

"Yes," she answered. "I found this spell that…"

"I know which one it is," he snipped, briefly sounding more like himself, remembering his wand was in the bathroom. "Accio wand," he called, catching it in his hand when it flew into the room. He held it above her stomach and said, "Lumos Natalimate." The soft blue glow returned once again but never turned yellow.

"You've no more need to worry," he informed her with a slight smile, thankful it was over. He watched as her eyes filled with tears at his statement, as she covered her face, shoulders shaking, not able to hide her relief. He didn't know if he should leave or stay but chose the latter, instinctively sitting beside her on his bed and cradling her trembling body to offer what little comfort he could as she quietly sobbed. He told himself he should not hold her this way but argued that it seemed the right thing to do because of the odd yet undeniable intimacy that floated between them because of the evening's events and because of the fact he was the only one who _could_ comfort her.

Moments passed until her cries slowed, wiping her face with the corner of her towel. "I'm sorry," she apologized, feeling the warmth of his body around her, happy he was holding her. "I'm just so sorry. I didn't mean to ruin your night."

"Nonsense," he told her, enjoying the fact she wasn't pulling from his embrace and surprised that he wasn't either. "Would you like to discuss any of this?" It felt rather…nice…to hold someone close, even if not in the best of circumstances. Though a female teacher would have been appropriate, he was glad to be the one with her. _You're going soft, old man_, he heard himself say but realized he didn't care at the moment.

She turned slightly to face him but didn't move from his arms. "I only did it once," she admitted, knowing he knew everything anyway. "It was my first time." Originally this was not how she had imagined talking about it but quickly discovered she wasn't uncomfortable.

"Did you use a protection spell?"

"Yes, he did," she answered. "He cast it but maybe it was wrong or not powerful enough or something."

"He, who?"

Brown doe eyes met softer than usual black ones. "I…I don't think I should tell you that," she said quietly.

"Why not?" he asked, wrinkle forming between his eyebrows in concern. "Miss Granger…"

"I think after tonight you could call me Hermione."

Severus cleared his throat, understanding her recognition ofthe peculiar intimate energy hovering in the space around them. "Hermione," he corrected. "If someone is performing an ineffective protection spell, there will be more instances such as yours. Do you want that? Do you want other girls to go through what you did? Maybe worse?"

"No," she answered, glancing down at her hands.

"It's imperative you tell me," he said sternly. "I will find out one way or another and won't hesitate to do so."

Hermione sighed, knowing he was not bluffing by the tone of his voice. She lifted her eyes again. "It was Draco," she whispered, hating to hear herself say his name.

"Mr. Malfoy?" Severus repeated in both anger and amusement. Certainly he was the last one he thought Hermione would ever have chosen, especially for her first, but Draco had been creating a new reputation for himself the past couple years. At one point, Severus had found himself proud of the young man's sexual prowess but now wanted to inflict a light _Crucio_ curse on him for causing Hermione to go throughthe tormentshe did, not to mention the twinge of jealousy he felt knowing Draco had partaken of that ravishing body he'd visibly devoured earlier. "Well we will be having a little chat then."

"Please don't say anything about me," she said, pressing her hand to his chest and immediately pulling back when she realized she did it. "He has been with others."

"I will not mention specifics of those kind." _And he'll be damn lucky I don't hang him upside down from the tower by his white hair, _he thought.

She smiled slightly. "You know, the day you caught me running through the hall…when I knocked you down…well…twice almost…," she said. "That was the day I found out. I was so upset. My life was over. I didn't know what to do."

He remembered the despair he'd felt from her mind and knew she had been distraught, thankful he listened to his instinct then, not assigning detention. "So you thought you'd be your brilliant brainyself and locate a spell or potion," he added. "That way no one would know and you could take care of the problem by yourself."

"I took the only potion I could find that I thought would be effective," she said quietly. "I didn't know what it would do really. I just…wanted it out…as soon as possible."

"Miss…er…Hermione," he said, catching himself. "You could have killed yourself with that potion. It is only to be used by doctors and nurses who know the subtle nuances of…of that type situation."

"I know."

"Why didn't you tell someone?" he asked. "You could have come to me and I would have helped you or better yet you could have approached any of the female teachers if you didn't want to go to the nurse. It was utter nonsense for you to attempt that option alone."

"You?" she repeated. "You who always barks at me for being a know it all? You who is always taking points away and giving me detentions because my potion wasn't perfect? Why would I have come to you with this? I wasn't planning on going to anybody, much less you."

Unfortunately she had a point and he couldn't argue. "Do you regret that I was the one to help you?" he asked curiously. "Because I can cast a spell that would…"

"No," she quickly answered, realizing how she'd sounded. "I'm very…thankful you're here and helping me." At some point during the evening, the grumpy teacher who sneered at everyone had turned into a caring and almost protective…friend. _Friend? _her brain repeated. _You are delirious._

Absentmindedly running a finger along her forearm, Severus told her, "You will have to tell Poppy so she can make sure you're all right. She will not repeat it."

"I know," she agreed as a lump found its way to her throat unexpectedly. Her eyes lifted to his again as they filled with tears. "I'm just…so…grateful and embarrassed all at the same time. I want to hide from you…and yet I want to hug you."

He understood her conflict and squeezed her gently in his arms as she wiped tears. "Don't you think I've been sick before?" he asked her. "And do you think you are the first woman I've seen unclothed?"

She shook her head in silence, brown locks tickling her bare shoulders.

"It's over," he said quietly. "Let it be over. Don't replay it in that head of yours. Besides, it's late and I'm sure you're exhausted. You should sleep."

Hermione nodded and started to get up.

"Where are you going?" he asked, holding her still.

"To get my things and try to get back to my dormitory," she answered, looking up at him through her red eyes.

"Most certainly not," he disagreed. "You will remain here tonight incase there's any relapse from that potion. We can't have you collapsing halfway."

She looked down, realizing she was still wearing only the towel. "Can I have something to sleep in?" she asked.

A blush crept to his pale face, making it near impossible to hide from her gaze. "Uh…yes…sorry," he said, quickly getting up from the bed, hating to leave the warmth created by their bodies, and walked to his closet to search, choosing an older white button down shirt that he never wore anymore. "Will this suffice?"

"Yes," she answered, slowly standing as she placed the towel on the bed and reached for the shirt. She smiled when Severus spun around away from her. "Oh really," she scoffed. "Does it matter at this point?" She slipped her arms into the shirt and began to button it up; somewhat intrigued by the fact he had seen her…all of her. Maybe she was delirious. Maybe not. The image of Severus kneeling in front of her, watching his eyes slowly crawl over her naked flesh, as if memorizing every inch of her, remembering the primal hunger she couldn't ignore in the pools of obsidian when their eyes met was not an image that would leave her mind any time soon. Even though the evening had been the furthest thing from pleasant, she couldn't deny that that one moment had been more erotic and sensual than anything she'd done with Draco.

"Yes but I…I did what I needed to do…to help you," he answered, his back still facing her, wanting nothing more than to turn around and gaze at her beautiful form again. "It would be quite inappropriate to…see now."

Hermione finished dressing, leaving the top two buttons open for comfort. "Do you have something to help me sleep?" she asked, getting back into bed.

"Of course," he answered, turning around to open a small drawer of the nightstand and handing her a vial. "Just a sip."

"Thank you," she said as he put it back. "I owe you."

"Sleep Hermione," Severus said, leaving the bedroom and closing the door behind him. As he passed the bathroom, he took a few minutes to straighten up, draining the water from the tub, still picturing her naked body glistening in the water, and picked up her scattered clothes there and in the outer chamber, quickly placing her undergarments between the other clothing, as if he had done something he shouldn't and set them on the couch beside him. He leaned back and closed his eyes as a wave of scent reached his nose, realizing it was her scent; her hair, her body, just her. His lips formed a crooked smile.

He lifted his head and shook it, as if trying to shake off his feelings and thoughts, like they were debris he could lose that easily. _You are a teacher_, he reminded himself. _And you helped a student who could have killed herself. You will not think of her again like that. You will forget what you saw. She is an insufferable know-it-all remember?_

But after what he'd witnessed tonight and with the nature of her reason for needing for help, he knew neither would forget it. They would always share this quite intimate, albeit not physical, experience and he hoped she would not grow to despise him for his knowledge and involvement as future days arrived.

After placing the towel underneath her since she didn't have her necessities at the moment and couldn't safely get them alone, Hermione lay her head against the soft pillows, inhaling the scent of the man that had probably saved her life, the man she used to hate but was now grateful to, the man who had once repulsed her but that now intrigued her with one look. He had been the last person she ever would have thought of telling about her situation, much less having him beside her through one of the most difficult and potentially embarrassing times in her life but somehow it was all right. He witnessed what she went through physically but also what she'd been through emotionally in previous days when he tapped into her mind, into her most private thoughts and fears. Not only had she seen a caring side to the man that she thought only felt hatred for everyone, but he'd seen the vulnerability of a young woman who was usually quite confident and sure of herself. It was an odd kind of intimacy but one that made her smile as she drifted off to slumber, thankful this bittersweet night was over.


	3. Dungeon Encounter

"Hermione."

Her eyes fluttered slightly.

"Hermione."

She opened her eyes, slowly waking up, and saw Severus standing by her. "Morning," she greeted, yawning and stretching.

"You need go see Madam Pomfrey this morning," he instructed. "I've left your clothes on the edge of the bed."

"Thank you," she said quietly as he turned and left the room, closing the door behind him.

She rose slowly, feeling much better than the night before, quickly performing a '_scourgify'_ spell on the towel and shirt, noticing he'd done the same to her clothing, as she took her time getting dressed. She shook her head in disbelief, still amazed at how Severus…_Professor Snape_…had taken care of her the last number of hours, how his touch had been gentle, how his tone had been sincere, how his attitude had been helpful. While she found his willing attentiveness somewhat unusual, because certainly had anyone told her a week ago this would have happened she would have told them they were mad, she discovered she did not regret his presence and almost wished that everyone could see this side to him as it really was quite exquisite. As she pictured him gazing down at her from the night before when she was in the tub, she remembered the grave look of concern, not scorn, that clouded his face, and understood that it would have tainted the intimate energy created between them if anyone else saw what she'd been allowed to see in the man. No longer would it be a private moment between them, their vulnerabilities having been revealed to the other creating an eccentric bond, but a vulgar display of their weaknesses. And she was determined that would not happen as she would not tell anyone of this incident except for Poppy, and she would only get the necessary details.

Fully dressed, she made the bed and then left the towel and shirt folded neatly on the edge, opening the door and joining him in the outer chamber. Severus was sitting on the couch, one leg crossed over the other, Daily Prophet in one hand and a cup of, she was assuming, tea in the other, sipping as his eyes scanned the page.

"Um…I guess I'll head over to see Poppy now," she said standing at the end of the couch, thinking there was so much she wanted to say but something about his stance prevented her from it. After being comfortable with him last night, she now felt quite uneasy in his presence.

Lowering his paper, Severus looked at her, seeing for the first time in many hours the _student_ Hermione. It was as if the previous night had been a dream, as if the truths discovered were somehow meant to stay within the confines of those hours, not allowed to continue into the future. Immediately, he pictured her body and its curves, reveled in how soft her skin felt against the touch of his hands and remembered how the emotions of anguish and relief looked upon her young face. Why was he saddened by these memories? _You'll never be able to look at her the same again_, his inner voice said. _You must distance yourself before she mistakes her appreciation and your cooperation for something…inappropriate._

The thought of offering her tea flashed through his mind but he dismissed it, knowing that it would keep her in his chamber longer and that it would not be acceptable. He'd done his job and now their lives needed to return to normal. "Yes Miss Granger," he purposely said, forcing himself to sound more like he did in classes, even though it pained him to. "I think that would be a good idea."

Hearing him say her name like that again pricked her emotions like a splinter and she didn't hide the hurt. Lowering her eyes, she said quietly, "Okay then. Um…thank you again for…your help." Tears were building in her eyes but she was determined to hide them until out of his sight. He wasn't angry with her, was he? He'd been so…_Oh Hermione, get a grip_, she heard inside her head. _What did you expect a miracle? Can leopards change their spots?_

_Look down at your paper_, he told himself, forcefully tearing his eyes away from her, regretting his tone had hurt her. _You must do this_. "You're welcome," he said curtly, pretending to read the words in front of him. "It is my job as a Hogwarts teacher." He was aware of her hesitancy to leave, knowing she had much more to say as did he, but understanding he could not allow their words any freedom. _Do not get up and do not look at her_, he told himself.

Hermione stood for a moment, watching her finger as it lightly touched the dark green velvet couch, numerous possibilities of what she could say running through her mind, knowing her impending tears would flow soon, and decided to leave, head down, walking through the classroom and quietly closing the door behind her. She hurried down the hall and around the corner back to the bathroom for the solitude she needed to allow her sobs to control her.

_Dammit, that was wrong_, he told himself as he stood up in frustration. _Maybe I should go after her and explain…no no…that wouldn't work. I have to leave it like this. I have no choice. She is a student and I'm a teacher and last night put us in an extremely compromised position. I helped her as any other teacher would have and that is that. _

He stood up and began to pace in front of the fireplace, having thrown down his paper in aggravation. What was wrong with him? Why was he upset? Why did he care that she was upset? She was a student; an insufferable, know it all, brainy, annoying studentwho grated on his last nerve who was friends with the two most intolerable Gryffindors and who had chosen Malfoy as her first and impregnated consequently.

_So that's it_, the inner voice accused. _You're jealous because Draco had her first and you had to pick up the pieces from the mess. You can't stand the fact one of your prized pupils had her, especially now that you've seen what he got. You don't understand how she could choose someone like him without being able to choose you too. You want her, don't you? And you know she'll never want you._

"Shut up!" Severus exclaimed as if it would quiet the voice. "Damn it all!" In anger, he palmed the ceramic cup still in hands seconds before throwing it with every last bit of energy left in him, sending into smashing into the fireplace, contents splashing mainly against the brick wall. Anger quickly escalating, he decided to get on with his day before he broke every glass container within a ten foot radius. He rushed to his desk, thinking he would begin grading papers from the quiz he'd given Friday when he stopped. _Must calm down_, he told himself. _Must refocus and not allow this ridiculous and unacceptable display of emotion._ A vision of Hogsmeade flashed in his mind. _Yes_, he thought. _That's it, that's what I need. A few shots of firewhiskey never hurt anyone. Perfect._

The Hog's Head was his destination.

* * *

Hermione had curled herself into a ball on the tile floor of the bathroom, a location that was becoming all too familiar to her, as tears soaked her face and confusion tormented her mind. He'd basically thrown her out. After being so wonderful with her the night before, taking care of her and cradling her in his arms as she'd cried with relief of discovering her issue was resolved, and now he just ignored her, acting as if nothing had happened. _'It is my job as a Hogwarts teacher'_, she heard her mind mimic. _Bullshit_, she thought. _You very easily could have taken me to Poppy, knowing I'd have to see her again anyway. You didn't have to take care of me. You didn't have to hold me and comfort me. You didn't have to be nice to me. You didn't have to make me think that you gave a damn._

Wrapping her arms around her body again, this time from shame, wanting to crawl inside of herself to hide, she thought, _And you didn't have to look at me the way a man gazes at a lover. _Why had he done that? Why did he seem to forget all pretenses and proprieties for that one instant, allowing his eyes to behold every inch of her, joining his eyes with hers at the end, daring her to recognize his desire, to watch it dance in his black eyes, not apologizing for any of it as if he had wanted her to see it.

Why? Was he curious as to what Draco had? Was there some sort of sick game that existed between them? Would they compare notes behind her back? '_You're right, Draco'_, she could hear in her mind. '_Her breasts could be a little larger_. _But what an exquisite vixen you had._' What was he playing at? Certainly he wasn't toying with her mind, it already having been in such a fragile state. He couldn't be that cruel could he?

_Damn that sinister git for playing with me like that!_ she thought, sitting up and wiping her face. _The worst time of my entire life and he plays with me like I'm some little toy._ _Fine, if that's how it's going to be, I'll make him as miserable as he's made me_.

Hermione got up and walked to the sinks, turning the faucet so she could splash water on her face, fighting to calm herself. Poppy would have a barrage of questions anyway so there was no need to add to her worry. _Get a hold of yourself,_ she heard. _Come on, like you could ever really be attracted to someone like him? _

As she stared at her reflection in the dusty cracked mirror, noticing her eyes looked as if they'd aged ten years, a quieter voice within reminded her, _Well you did choose Draco Malfoy to give your innocence to. Are they really so different?_

She couldn't deny her own truth and hated herself for it.

* * *

"Miss Granger!" Madam Pomfrey exclaimed when she noticed the girl's disheveled appearance. "What on earth happened to you?" She left her disarray of antidotes and healing elixirs where they were, rushing over to the student.

Not really knowing where to begin, she answered simply, "I took a potion to induce labor because I found out I was pregnant and didn't want it." There was no need for niceties at this point so why bother placating her?

Madam Pomfrey's eyes grew large. "You aborted with a labor inducing potion?" she shrieked. "You could have killed yourself, Miss Granger. What were thinking?"

Fighting more tears, thinking that was all she did anymore, she answered, "I know it was stupid. I wasn't thinking. But I panicked and…I know I needed to come see you." Her eyes were pleading towards the woman, silently begging for compassion, something she didn't have to do with Severus. _That's Professor Snape to you_, her inner voice reminded her.

Grabbing her hand and leading her over to the private examination area, she asked, "Where did this happen? Were you alone?" She knew how dangerous the potion's effects could be when incorrectly administered.

For a brief moment, Hermione thought of telling her where she'd spent the evening but heard herself answering, "I'd rather not tell you. Let's just say I had help and nothing serious happened to me. Just some stomach cramps and a slight fever." _Aren't you downplaying it just a bit_, she heard in her mind. _You blacked out a few times and were delirious for a while. _

Madam Pomfrey rummaged through a hidden collection of small bottles and containers, finally finding what she was looking for. "You must take two of these a day for the next four days," she explained, handing the bottle to Hermione. "They will reverse what the pregnancy began in your body. Lay down as much as you can this weekend to allow your body to heal and in a couple weeks, you'll need to come back."

"Okay," she said, taking the bottle and hiding it in her cloak pocket. "I would…uh…appreciate it if you…didn't tell anyone about this."

The older woman's eyes softened as she covered Hermione's hand briefly. "I know you had to have gone through a most horrible time," she began. "I will certainly not breathe of word of this to anyone. I just hope that whoever you were with showed you compassion and understanding with your situation."

The lump she felt like she'd been fighting for days was back again at hearing the nurse's words. "Yes I was taken care of just fine," she answered quietly, quickly turning and leaving. As she walked through the halls, heading back to her dormitory, she realized everyone would probably be worried about where she'd been all night, deciding to make up the excuse of Poppy giving her a medicine that made her exceedingly drowsy and making her stay in the hospital wing overnight. She prayed Harry hadn't consulted the Marauder's Map, agreeing the year before not to use it unless one was thought to be in grave danger, otherwise she would have much more explaining to do than she wanted.

Hermione walked slowly, realizing she was sore but feeling quite certain that was normal, considering what she just went through. All she wanted was to lay down in her bed and fall asleep. _Bed_. _His bed._ She was thankful her feet seemed to automatically know their way to the Gryffindor dormitory because her thoughts floated back to the previous night when Sev…_Professor Snape_ had put her in his bed. It felt so much more comfortable than hers, remembering how she seemed to sink into it, like it was hugging her body into its own softness, completely enveloping her. And the scent that surrounded her was soothing, knowing it was his essence; spicy, musky and wonderful. _Damn him_, she thought. _Maybe that was just part of his game. I need to stop thinking about it. _

Taking a deep breath, prepared for whatever onslaught of questions she would receive, Hermione said the password, stepping inside the dormitory, not surprised to find Harry and Ron doing schoolwork with only a couple others around. The sound of the door caused them to turn their heads, eyes wide when they saw it was her.

"Where have you been?" Harry asked, rushing over to meet her in the middle of the room.

"We've been worried sick!" Ron exclaimed, close behind him.

Hermione smiled reassuringly. "I'm all right," she told them. "I went to go see Poppy last night and she gave me a really strong sleeping elixir, insisting I spend the night there. I feel fine. Much better."

Harry glanced at Ron. "You do look a little better," he observed. "You're sure you're okay?"

"Yes," she told them emphatically. "I'm still a bit out of it so I'm going to go lay down."

"Glad you're better, Hermione," Ron called out as they both watched her walk away and up the stairs to her bedchamber. When she had disappeared, he whispered, "Do you believe her?"

Nodding, Harry answered, "Yes. Look at her. Huge difference from the past couple weeks or so. Come on. We're behind with the scrolls."

"Yeah," Ron agreed as they walked back to their table and resumed their schoolwork with at least one less thing to worry about.

* * *

The weekend passed much too quickly for Hermione who spent most of her time in bed. She secretly took the pills Poppy had given her and also some of her pain elixir but overall felt fine. She'd graciously accepted sentiments from everyone in Gryffindor as it seemed like every single one of them had stopped by to see her and wish her well, including Professor McGonagall. Their concern made her feel much better, thankful the whispering had stopped, and was ready to return to class and resume her studies, now with nothing to distract her.

Class. Potions class. Hermione mentally groaned at the thought as she lay in bed late Sunday evening after everyone else had gone to sleep. It had never been easy for her but now it would be worse. How could she pretend everything was the same as it was four days ago? How could she listen to him speak of ingredients and how to mix them properly without hearing the panic in his voice when he'd asked her if she trusted him? How could she look at him without seeing him in front of her, eyes scanning her body, admitting desire? How could she be close to him without inhaling his scent and thinking of being in his bed?

_You will do whatever you have to_, she told herself. _You have one more year and then you don't have to worry about ever seeing him again if you choose. You're mature. You can handle it. He's the one that closed up from you, practically throwing you out, returning to his sneering self._ _He's the one who must have thought this some warped game and had probably already approached Draco with a grin on his face. _She would face him and would be the better person in the end.

* * *

Monday found Hermione to be back to her old self again, being the first one to raise her hand with an answer or to explain a concept in detail that others hadn't even heard before. It was refreshing to know her issue was over and didn't have to worry anymore. Life was good. Until she walked into Potions.

After purposely waiting outside for Harry and Ron, she walked in with them, thankful Professor Snape was not in the room yet, probably still in his chamber. _His chamber_. Her mind drifted to his couch, his bathroom, his bed….._Stop, _she told herself. _Hold your head high and show him his indifference has not affected you. You're a Gryffindor for crying out loud!_

It wasn't long before the classroom was full and Professor Snape was rushing into the room, growling instructions. "Turn to page four hundred and twenty three," he hissed, hurrying to the front of the class as fingers feverishly turned pages behind him. "We will be learning how to mix dragon livers with graphorn powder so please gather the necessary items."

He watched while the class scurried in silence to gather vials and samples of the ingredients, trying to ignore the fact Hermione was in the room. Saturday evening had found him ridiculously drunk at the Hog's Head while Sunday was spent nursing a hangover so he was not in the best mood. Not that he ever was really in a _good_ mood. Noticing her lingering in the back with Potter, he was instantly defensive. What was she saying? Potter didn't know, did he? "Miss Granger and Mr. Potter," he barked. "Please continue your conversation after class as you are wasting my precious time."

As they turned and walked back to their seats, Hermione frowned at her teacher and said, "We were not having a conversation, Professor Snape. He was inquiring how much of each we should take and I was telling him…"

Anger boiled inside him as he quickly interrupted, "Oh I see, Miss Granger. So if one asking a question and another answering that question doesn't constitute a conversation, then what does, pray tell?" The wrinkle returned between his raised eyebrows as his lips thinned out in exasperation, crossing his arms, awaiting her answer.

Hermione fought the urge to scream at him but instead answered, "I think you know very well what constitutes a conversation." Her eyes told him that she was not referring to Harry. "But if you really want me to answer that question…"

"Enough!" Professor Snape bellowed, unsure of what she was going to say but quite sure he wouldn't like it. "I've no time for this childish behavior. Page four hundred and twenty three!" How he wanted to take points away from her but didn't because he wasn't sure what slander could come spewing from her mouth if he angered her too much. It was a chance he couldn't take. _Who cares if she's scowling at me_, he thought. _All of them are. She's no different_.

At least that's what he kept trying to tell himself.

"Boy, you could have got detention with a remark like that," Harry pointed out as they headed back to the common room. "I'm shocked he didn't take points." Professor Snape had a reputation for doing that if one simply looked at him wrong and thought for sure when she'd made her comment that she would be spending the next week cleaning cauldrons.

Hermione knew exactly why he hadn't said anything but told her friend, "Maybe I just happened to catch him on a good day."

Ron laughed out loud. "A good day?" he repeated. "Snape? I don't think he's ever had such a thing!"

* * *

Meals in the Hall were not quite as unnerving as Hermione kept her back to the head tables, concentrating on talking with her friends, but could sporadically feel two obsidian eyes boring holes through her, always choosing to ignore them. He was the one that shunned her so she saw no need in acknowledging him. He'd served his purpose and that was all. She wouldn't allow herself to remember that night, pushing it away each time it crept in.

Draco had been after her, winking at her, giving her lustful looks across the rooms of the classes they shared, and she was beginning to remember why she'd chosen him. His near white hair was straight and hung below his shoulders, soft to the touch, he had filled out since his first days at Hogwarts and most girls hated when he wore robes unable to see the definition in his arms and chest or the toned muscles of his thighs from years of Quidditch, his blue eyes able to pierce straight through whatever resistance females attempted to have around him, his sly smile usually bringing them to their knees. Words fell like poisoned honey from his plump lips, sweet to taste but dangerous.

Hermione had wondered if he knew, wondered if Severus had said anything to him. A voice inside told her that the teacher would not say anything but a louder voice countered not to be so sure. She did think of one way she could learn if her suspicions were correct or not, and since Draco was so willing, it made her task much easier. All she needed was to bat her eyes a few times and gather a couple ingredients.

* * *

Purposely hanging around the dungeons, she knew she would eventually run into Draco. He was quite pleased when he saw her and quickly approached.

"I was hoping to see you down here," he said, eyes twinkling with unabashed desire. "You know, my bedchamber is empty. Everyone's in the Hall having dinner." He slipped his long fingers around her waist. "I'd rather have dessert myself."

"I don't know," she said, gently pushing his hands away, teasing him. "I've seen you talking to quite a few girls. Are you sure you can fit me in?"

Grabbing her waist again and pulling her against him so quick as to elicit a gasp from her, Draco answered, "I know for certain I can fit…inside you that is." He crushed his lips against hers and then reached for her hand. "Come on. Let's go."

Hermione allowed herself to be led through the Slytherin common room, into his bedchamber, smiling as she listened to him cast a _'colloportus'_ spell on his door. This was working out perfect. Within the hour, she would know for sure whether Severus had said anything to him. She, however, would be casting the protection spell this time.

* * *

Severus was furious as he entered the hall, shooting daggers from his eyes at anyone who dared look his direction, pursing his lips together so hard they hurt, wondering why he had come here in the first place now that he had completely lost his appetite. How could she do it? How could she be with him again? Especially after what happened! It had been almost a month since that night and she was right back at it again. He almost wished she were with Potter instead. She didn't know he'd witnessed the disgusting kiss between her and his once prized pupil as he'd started to leave his classroom but then stopped when he heard their voices, standing out of their sight but able to see and hear everything. He was sickened at the entire display and had to force himself to not confront them both right then. The evil in him almost hoped she'd find herself in trouble again so that this time he could turn her away. It would serve her right.

Class with her had been unbearable as he dreaded every day she sat in front of him, wishing like hell he could forget everything that happened, everything that was said, everything that was seen. It played over and over in his head nearly each time his head hit the pillow. He'd used the _'scourgify'_ spell on each bed linen, pillowcase and cover but her scent still remained, still haunted him. He felt as if he was losing his mind. And as if recognizing his anguish, she'd began taunting him in class, pushing him, daring him with flippant remarks to assign her detention or take points away but he refused to do it. He would not play her little game, whatever it was. He would keep her away from him whatever it took, and if that meant not assigning detentions and not taking points away from her, regardless of the protests from other students, that's what he would do. Damn that little vixen!

* * *

Hermione slipped herself from Draco's bed once again, immediately fetching her skirt that had been tossed across the room twenty minutes earlier, taking two eyedropper bottles from her pocket. She silently crept back to the bed, opening the bottle and allowed two small drops to fall to his lips and seep slowly inside his mouth. Draco stirred slightly and licked his lips, much to her pleasure. _Perfect_, she thought. _Just a few seconds more._

She let a few minutes pass as she waited for the potion to take effect. "Draco," she whispered, pressing her body against his, lightly caressing his ears. "Can you hear me?"

He mumbled a yes but appeared to still be sleeping.

"What do you think of me?" she whispered, fingers sliding through his hair.

"Used to be a useless mudblood," he said quietly. "But now you're fine as hell."

She stifled a giggle, realizing all the things she could ask with him in this position, however there was really only one thing she wanted to know and didn't want to spend too much time here.

"Has Snape asked you anything about me?" she asked. "About us being together?"

"No," he answered. "Just told me to stay away from you, that you'd only cause trouble. But I don't care what he says."

Her mouth dropped. _That git told him to stay away from me_, she thought. _How dare he tell him that? How dare he call her trouble?_

"Our first time together," she asked as an afterthought. "Did you purposely do the protection spell wrong?"

"No."

That was all she needed. She reached for the other bottle, dripping the anecdote onto his lips, knowing he would be fine, as she quickly dressed and left the bedchamber, thankful no one was in the common room yet, not planning on returning ever again. Once had been enough and twice was nearly more than she could handle. Sex just wasn't her forte.

Allowing the door of the Slytherin common room to close behind her, Hermione ran a couple fingers through her hair and left, quite satisfied with Draco's answers. She was a little surprised that Snape hadn't said anything, as she was almost positive he had. As she rounded the corner, ready to sprint up the steps, she looked up and wished she'd stayed in the common room two minutes longer, gazing up into eyes black as night and filled with hatred.

"Why Miss Granger," he hissed, wondering how he was not screaming at her. "Whatever would you be doing down in the dungeons whilst everyone else is having dinner in the Hall?"

He didn't know, did he? She stared at him for a minute, as his tone was accusing. Not having planned on running into the man she now despised, she fought within her mind, trying to think of an excuse.

Crossing his arms, he asked, "What, no witty comeback? No 'planned ahead' excuse?" He shook his head. "Looks like you've been caught…what's that saying…with your pants down, hmm?" He descended more steps until he was at her level, glaring at her. "Really, Miss Granger, you would think after your most recent adventure you would have learned a little…discretion perhaps?"

Hermione knew she should just walk away and not say anything but once again; she didn't listen to her better judgment. "You son of a bitch," she said through clenched teeth. "You told Draco to stay away from me because I was trouble. How dare you talk about me like that?"

"Was I telling an untruth?" he asked innocently, enjoying seeing anger dance across her face like dark storm clouds, then narrowed his eyes, leaning closer to her. "And how would you know what I say or don't say in the privacy of my chambers?"

Hermione started to answer and then stopped, finding that she wasn't sure how to answer his question. _Dammit! _she thought.

"Ah, looks like you've been caught twice," Snape sneered, enjoying the entrapment he had not planned on. "So come, dear, what was it? A potion? A spell maybe?" He closed the distance between them, acutely aware of Draco's scent still lingering about her. "Let me guess. A truth serum? Am I correct in my conclusion?"

SLAP. It seemed to echo throughout the dungeon.

Severus didn't react immediately when she'd slapped him, instead he slowly turned his head to look at her again, noticing a mix of anger and fear spreading across her face, before he was completely unable to control himself any longer.

Hermione's back hit the damp stone wall, momentarily knocking the breath out of her, as she was pushed against it, his sneering lips a breath away from hers, staring with fright into the blackness that was piercing through her very being. His fingers curled around her arms, digging in to her muscles, causing her to whimper in pain, though she tried not to.

"Is that how you like it?" he hissed. "Is that why you went back for more? Is Draco rough with you? Is he aggressive and forceful? I never would have thought it about _brainy_ Hermione Granger."

"Please," she said quietly, hands pushing at his chest, refusing to look at him. "Just let me go."

"Why don't you tell me about this little game you're playing with me?" he asked, so close to her mouth it took every ounce of resistance not to seize her lips with his. "Why are you taunting me? Who knows about what happened?"

"There's no game," she said, feeling her arms throb under his grip. "No one knows anything. Please!"

Hearing footsteps above them, he jerked her from the wall and shoved her towards the stairs, turning with a swish of his cloak, disappearing around the corner, without another word, leaving her panting and gasping for air, wondering what just happened.

Hermione walked slowly through the halls, replaying the last hour or so of her evening. She'd been relieved to find out nothing had been said to Draco but the unleashed anger of Snape caught her off guard and quite honestly frightened her. No one had ever done that to her. No one had ever grabbed her and controlled her like that. He looked as if he hated her, as if he _wanted_ to hurt her. He couldn't really have hurt her, could he? She knew about his background, well some of it, but never thought he could physically hurt a student, especially not…tears were threatening again…especially not after helping her like he did.

She pushed her emotion away as she neared the safe haven of the Gryffindor common room, finding it ironic that she had been so relieved to be past the hurt and inner turmoil of her situation, now realizing that it had just been the beginning.


	4. Detention's Desire

_Thanks so much for the kind reviews Everyone! And yes, I have personal knowledge of abortion issues and have tried my best to make it realistic and yet fictional at the same time, trying to keep in mind the nuances of the characters. I thought it would be interesting to see how they would react to the roller coaster of emotions that would follow the position they were put in due to Hermione's issue. I have sent thank you emails to those who had accessible accounts but here are a few thank yous for those that don't._

**Lou** – Thank you. Glad you're enjoying this.

**Varcolaci **– Yes Hermione's reactions are quite realistic and I've tried to maintain their characters but throwing a twist in as well.

**Queenanneus** – Definitely unusual. I'm always trying to think of a new angle instead of the same old type stories, trying to expand these characters as far as I can.

**Wiccan-witch88** – Thanks…I've been slightly stuck with this chapter but I think we're rolling now.

**Elektrikstorm** – I certainly try not to write crapfics. LOL Thanks for your kind comments. I know I chose a touchy subject but I really tried to keep it realistic while keeping in mind they are in a 'wizarding world'.

**Kissmesweetly** – It's different I know. Just glad you like.

**Insariosyiel** – I'm happy you think it's well written. Sometimes I struggle, bouncing back and forth in my own head between 'this sucks' and 'this is not bad'. LOL

**Hprules8888** – Glad you love it. )

**Anya** – Here ya go. I've been hung up on where I wanted this to go but I think I've got it set now.

**Bambi-Is-No-More** – Thanks Sweetie…writing as we speak!

* * *

Severus stared up at the ceiling as he lay in bed, fingers entwined atop his chest, legs straight out. What had he done? He'd shoved Hermione against the wall, something he'd never done to a student. Guilt washed over him as he realized he shouldn't have done it, realized he'd been out of line and, should she choose to say anything, could find himself in serious trouble. She just drove him mad and wished like hell he hadn't been there to help her that night, but then felt even guiltier for allowing such a thought, knowing she could have suffered an ill fate.

He'd never allowed himself to think of a student in any way other than as a student but thoughts of her in compromised positions consumed his mind. That night changed something in him and he despised the change. He'd found her extremely attractive but tried to convince himself otherwise, failing miserably. More often than not, visions of her filled his mind as he fell asleep, visions of her naked, on top of him, kissing him, underneath him, taking all he was giving her, over and over. No woman ever had this affect on him and didn't know how to handle himself.

_What woman, she's a child_, his brain told him. _No, she's a young woman_, he argued back_. She's almost eighteen. She is no child. _Remembering her body, her creamy skin, her breasts, he smirked and thought, _No she is definitely not a child. _

_Well, whatever she is, _it continued. _She is still a student and you are a teacher and that's all the reason you need to put aside these foolish thoughts. Even taking that fact out of the equation, why would you think she'd ever be attracted to you? Draco is younger and virile and has all the girls after him. What are you? You're dark and evil and mean to everyone and you certainly do not have the looks. _

_But then what was it I saw in her eyes when I put her in my bed? From the bathroom to the bedroom, her eyes never left mine. She never pulled away from my embrace and remained close to me, wanting to stay longer the next morning. I was the one who pushed her away and made her leave with barely a kind word. Why should I be mad at her when I'm the one who caused this? Why should I be punishing her for something that is my fault? _

_But you _are_ angry with her. How do you know she hasn't told someone about what happened? - Why should she tell? _the voice countered. _She has more to be embarrassed about than you do. – And she taunts me in class constantly, daring me to take points away or assign her detention. – So do it, what's she going to do except embarrass herself in front of the class? How will she embarrass you? If she wants to make a fool of herself, let her. – I don't want her to. I want things to be like that night, close and intimate. – She was vulnerable and so were you. Not one of your best qualities. – Oh shut up. _

Rubbing his face, wishing the mental quarreling would stop, he got up and walked over to the huge window overlooking the grounds. Sighing heavily, he remembered this was her last year, understanding the fact he might never see her again. Certainly with her intellect, she would be able to do anything she wanted, anywhere she wanted. With her beauty, she would certainly meet the man of her dreams along the way; someone her age, attractive, with a brilliant mind and charming personality to compliment hers.

_But there's so much I could show her_, his mind thought desperately. _So much about the world I could teach her that she'll never learn anywhere else. Not only about potions and spells and how to properly apply them through life, but I could teach her things about herself that she never thought possible. She places limits on herself that are ridiculous. I could get her past that. I could reveal the endless depths of the mind, the immaculate strength of the soul, even the primal hunger of the flesh. _

He stopped for a moment to recall a feeling of hers he'd discovered from that night when he'd probed her mind. He'd always assumed that one's first sexual experience provided excitement and happiness and a freedom never felt before. But as she'd remained in bed after being with Draco, he'd learned of her indifference. It was as if it was almost more an assignment than an action, something she was simply crossing off her list to get on with the next. It seemed to awaken nothing within her, and that confused him. As she'd stared up at the ceiling, she'd thought of her inadequacy, that she somehow lacked in sexual ways, that she wasn't capable of allowing herself the freedom to let go of inhibitions.

_But she is quite capable_, he thought. _It's in her. I've sensed it, caught glimpses of it. She needs encouragement and the proper coaxing. The hormone driven boys here could never entice her, never be able to reveal the hunger and hidden passion, as they simply don't have the experience; they don't know how. - Oh, so you think you're the man to awaken the beast in her_, his brain countered. _You're so arrogant to think you can change her reactions. Are you sure you're not just wanting to one-up Mr. Malfoy? Somehow prove to her and yourself that you're better than him? To make her desire you and visit your chambers like she has with him? _

Sliding his hands through his black hair, he seriously considered going to Dumbledore and requesting his memory be erased. Since the old man probably already knew what had happened, he wouldn't have to explain anything to him. But at least if he didn't have the memory, he wouldn't argue with himself, wouldn't drive himself mad. He chuckled at the fact that even though he'd seen and witnessed death in many ugly forms, never once had he needed his memory erased. And now, here he was considering it because of a _girl, a student. _It didn't make much sense.

_I told you you've gone soft, _the voice ridiculed again. _A death eater taunted by a little girl. What would you have told yourself years ago if this thought had passed through your brain? Would you have allowed it? Or would you have taken action to end it? You can't continue like this and you know it. The students have already begun to look at you peculiarly in class and the faculty has been whispering behind your back. The first thing you must do in order to put things back in place is assign that vixen detention. – She is _not_ a vixen! – Whatever you want to call her. Just do it before you lose all self-respect. Everything will fall into place then. _

As much as he hated to admit it, it was exactly what he needed to do. But maybe, just maybe, he could use it to his advantage. There was only one way to find out.

* * *

Hermione told no one what happened, how she'd gone down to have sex with Draco only because she wanted to find out if Severus had asked him anything, how she ran into him when she was leaving, how she had no excuses and had been caught twice by him, how his anger controlled him, escalating, causing her to be slammed against the wall, very thankful when she'd heard footsteps. She wondered what could have happened had they not been interrupted, wondered if he really would have hurt or just tried to scare her. How dare he? Why did he have to have the upper hand? Why did he have to be in control of everything? Why did he have to instill fear in people? Was there something he was compensating for? Some weakness or insecurity?

Taunting him out of nothing but her frustration, as she'd been doing in classes, wasn't the right thing to do and she knew it. She was letting her emotions get the better of her and for what? What did it accomplish except angering him to the point of physical aggression? She didn't want that, especially having witnessed a side of him she knew she never wanted to see again. If she could just find a way to get through his classes this year without either angering him to the point of rash action or earning detention for herself, things would be fine. But was that possible?

As she restlessly turned over in bed, unable to find sleep, she kept seeing that vision of Severus kneeling in front of her, unable to shake it since it happened and consequently driving herself mad. It had been sensual, provocative and quite erotic and she thought it interesting that he'd not touched her at all, instead simply gazed at her, devouring her visibly. Draco had been anything but sensual or erotic, choosing to be more aggressive and going straight for what he wanted, there being certainly no romance and very little foreplay. Severus' hungry eyes had given her a glimpse into a different world, an erotic, sensual world that piqued her curiosity and found herself wanting to explore it and discover if there really was more to this sexual arena that, so far, she was not impressed with. She wondered if that moment had been unique or if there was much more to Severus, but assumed at this point she'd never know.

* * *

As the classroom began filling up with students, Severus was preparing himself for dealing with Hermione, telling himself over and over that he would behave more appropriately, handling situations as he usually did, taking away points and assigning detentions when necessary. She'd no longer control him by her outbursts and his allowed fear that she might say something at the wrong time. He was the teacher and the one in control of any and all situations in his classroom.

Hermione waited for Harry and Ron as she had done the past month, feeling too uneasy about walking in the classroom alone. She kept telling herself that she would keep her mouth shut and not tempt him as she had been doing. As she followed her friends in, heading for their table and putting books down, she noticed he was at his desk and that his eyes were following her from underneath strands of black, causing her to take a deep breath and remind herself one last time to behave.

After barking instructions, he watched as everyone hurried to get the ingredients they'd need for the potion he was teaching them to brew. Staring, he saw Hermione glance at him as she remained silent while getting her things, but what was it he saw in her eyes? Fear? Submission? _Dammit_, he thought. _It's because of the other night and my own fault. - Don't go soft now, old man. Remember what you have to do. _

Determined not to erupt a reaction from her teacher, Hermione gathered what she needed, making sure to not talk to or even look at anyone, but unable to stop herself from glancing over while he stood in the front of the class, finding he was watching her. He looked puzzled though and she wondered why. What did he have to be puzzled about?

As the class continued working on their potions, Severus walked around to observe, barking out insults when seeing a potion done incorrectly. "It's supposed to be blue with a green swirl," he hissed at one table. "Not pink with yellow. Do it again."

Hermione fought to remain calm as he approached the table where she, Harry and Ron were sitting. She heard his approaching footsteps and made sure she wasn't looking at him, feeling his invasive stare as he peered over their shoulders to see their progress.

"Do it over," he told them and started to walk away.

"But, Sir," Harry said quietly. "I believe it's right. It's blue with a green swirl like you said."

Flipping his head around to stare at the boy, Severus said, "Twenty points from Gryffindor. I said do it again."

Forgetting what she'd been telling herself for the past hour, Hermione was indignant. They'd brewed their potion perfect and had received the desired effect. She knew why he was having them do it again and it was because of her.

"Professor Snape," she began. "Why is it wrong? It looks how you said it should look."

Raising his eyebrows, stepping closer to peer down at the big doe eyes looking up at him, he scowled and answered, "It's wrong because I said it was wrong. Do. It. Again."

She frowned with his answer. "That's not fair," she protested, unable to stop herself from saying it. "We did everything exactly as you said and it's the color it's supposed to be."

"You know, Miss Granger," Severus began. "I do believe you are long overdue for detention. Tonight. Seven. This classroom."

Hermione sat in silence, watching as he walked away. _That went well_, she thought sarcastically _I got exactly what I was trying to avoid. Being alone with him in detention is not what I wanted. Dammit. _

"Sorry," Harry mumbled when they left class. "That was the last thing I wanted to see happen."

She shrugged. "It's all right," she told him. "I don't know what his problem is lately."

"Do you think we should say something to Professor McGonagall?" Ron asked.

"No," Hermione said instantly. "That wouldn't be a good idea." Involving someone else into the private issue they shared would not be the proper thing to do. Maybe she should try talking with him later to see if they could straighten this mess out as it was becoming visibly difficult for both to be in the same room and that wouldn't work much longer.

* * *

Hermione hadn't been able to eat dinner as she dreaded what was to come. Why did he do that? She thought he'd been trying to avoid her. Their potion had been correct and he knew it. Assigning her detention was simply from spite. What was he going to do? Slam her around again? Yell at her? Ignore her? She would be thankful when this night was over.

Slipping from the Hall, she quietly made her way to the dungeons, her racing heart louder than her echoing footsteps. _Relax_, she tried to tell herself. _You'll be fine. Maybe you can talk to him._ _Maybe it won't be as bad as you think. Maybe the Severus that helped you will reappear._

Approaching the wooden door she hated to open, she knocked quietly, hearing the voice that made her tremble call out, "Come in!" She pushed the door open and stepped inside, gently closing it behind her. She was acutely aware of every move and sound she was making, scared that one tiny thing would set him off again.

"Nice of you to be on time," he scoffed, not lifting his head from his papers. "You can start by cleaning off the tables and chairs, putting the chairs on top of the tables when you're finished. Then you can clean the floor. The supplies are in the back closet. And I would thank you to work quietly."

Hermione said nothing, immediately heading for the closet to retrieve the cleaning supplies she would need, and then beginning on the tables furthest from him, trying to be as quiet as she could as not to erupt another outburst from him. There were all sorts of dried substances stuck to the tables and chairs and she found herself having to scrape most of it off first before she was able to actually wipe it. As she cleaned, she'd periodically glance over at him, hoping to catch him watching her, but never succeeded as he was busy with his paperwork, almost oblivious to her presence.

Severus fought every urge to look at her as he knew she was glancing at him every so often, telling himself he must continue to act as if he didn't care she was there, must return to how he was with her before that night happened. He must make her hate him again. _You don't want that, _he told himself. _You want to talk to her. You know you should apologize for shoving her against the wall. Look at how she's cleaning. She's making every effort not to make a single sound in fear you'll attack her. It's ridiculous. Just apologize. You won't be compromising anything. This can't continue.

* * *

Two hours later, Severus couldn't stand the internal arguing any longer, rising from his desk, determined to address the problems between them, walking to the back of the room where Hermione was putting the cleaning supplies away after having cleaned the tables, chair and floor better than it had ever been done. He'd replayed the conversation he wanted to have with her in his head a hundred different ways, realizing that it hadn't helped at all._

"Miss Granger," he said, noticing her immediately retreat from his presence, not looking at him. "We need to talk."

"I cleaned the tables and the chairs and put them on the table like you asked," she said quietly. "And I finished the floors." He wouldn't think of making her do it again, would he?

"It's not about the cleaning."

"What is it?" she asked, beginning to rearrange the supplies on the shelf.

Severus watched her for a few moments before saying, "Hermione, please look at me."

Amazed at hearing her name on his lips, she slowly turned to face him, thankful he was not scowling at her. "What?" she asked again, protectively crossing her arms in front of her.

"My actions the other night at the staircase were inappropriate," he began, dark eyes blending with hers in the awkwardness. "Please accept my apology. It will not happen again."

Hermione was shocked at the sincerity of his tone and the softness of his eyes. "You're apologizing?" she asked to make sure her ears weren't deceiving her. Was she dreaming?

"I believe that is what I just did," he stated evenly. "Do you not accept it?"

"No," she answered quickly. "I mean, yes I do accept it. I'm just…surprised." Maybe she would be able to talk to him after all?

"I did not mean to hurt you or frighten you," he continued, remembering the guilt he'd felt. "I hadn't intended to do that and was just as startled as you when I did."

Hermione was stepping out on a limb but had to ask because if she didn't, she might not have another opportunity. "Why _did_ you do that?" she asked quietly, uncrossing her arms.

Severus walked past her a few steps before turning around to face her, leaning and resting his hand on the edge of a table, staring at her as if she held the answer. Maybe he needed to just tell her now and get it over with and end all the awkwardness and anger between them. "Ever since your…that night," he said, not sure what to call it. "I've had very inappropriate thoughts that have…affected the way I conduct myself around you."

Finding herself curious, she repeated, "Inappropriate thoughts?" Had he been thinking of her in _that _way? Was it possible?

Straightening up and letting go of the table, rubbing his hands together, Severus answered, "Yes, inappropriate thoughts. I didn't intend them though. After helping you that night and seeing you…unclothed…and having read your mind, I found myself becoming…preoccupied with both." He looked down, unable to believe that he was admitting this but knowing it was the right thing to do, he shook his head and added, "And then you went back to him….and I just couldn't understand it…after what happened."

A wave of guilt rushed over Hermione as she felt her face grow hot. "It's not what you thought," she told him, for some reason not wanting him to think she wanted Draco in that way.

Almost smirking, Severus said, "I know what you did. You gave him a truth serum and asked him if I'd said anything about you to him." He stepped closer and narrowed his eyes at her. "How could you think I would betray your privacy by telling another, especially a student, especially him?"

He sounded almost hurt as Hermione's eyes darted about before fixing back on his, ignoring the rising emotion she felt. "I thought…I don't know…I mean…that morning…you just threw me out…and you'd been so…helpful…and nice…and…" How was she to explain the mess of her mind?

Severus stepped closer. "And what?" he asked curiously, studying her eyes for truth.

Absentmindedly playing with locks of her hair, twirling them around her finger, Hermione answered, "And there were these…moments…where I thought you were really concerned…like you really cared about me. And then you didn't…and I thought you were angry…and that maybe you told him to…get back at me and…"

Closing the distance between them completely, Severus slowly reached for her hand, taking it from her hair and holding it in his, the tips of his fingers massaging her palm while his thumb caressed the top of her hand, silencing her rambling. "Hermione, I would never do that. I would never tell another what happened," he reassured. "Not this incident anyway." He'd had betrayals in his past that he was not proud of but never would he jeopardize a student's private life.

Aware of the warmth of his hand holding hers, Hermione said, "But you told Draco to stay away from me."

"Yes I did and sometimes I'm a foolish old man," he said with a smirk, enjoying the softness of her flesh against his.

"I don't think you're a foolish old man," she told him, feeling her heart race with his continued touch, inhaling his scent once again, it taking her back to the night she slept in his bed. She looked up and curiously waited for his response, sensing a change in the energy between them, as his fingers slipped to the top of her hand, sliding up her forearm, almost to her elbow and then gently turning her arm over to reveal the sensitive flesh, trailing his other fingertips up and down, shivers of electricity filling her body, causing hair to stand straight up and her breath to catch in her throat.

His eyes followed his long fingers, taking in the creaminess of her skin. "What _do_ you think of me?" he asked curiously, lowering his voice, continuing his caresses, not wanting to let go of her, hoping she would not pull from him or tell him he was out of place with his inquiry.

Feeling stirrings within, Hermione had to fight to think of words to answer his question, loving the sensations dancing under her skin. "I…uh…think you're…um…I don't know…if I should say…exactly," she stammered, hoping he wouldn't stop touching her, lost in her own world. First his eyes and now his fingers, almost afraid of her want for more.

He paused, his fingers lifting to her chin, gently raising her head so he could see her eyes, then returned to stroking her arm. "Hermione, tell me," he said, almost a whisper. "Forget propriety."

Hearing his voice so low it was almost a quiet growl and feeling the tingling from his touch broke her resistance. "I have…inappropriate thoughts also," she said with a slight smile, using his own words so he would have a clear understanding, her head nearly spinning from excitement, wondering what he was doing to her.

"What thoughts?" he inquired, never breaking eye contact with her, sensing she was beginning to let a few walls fall from around her. "Tell me."

Almost in a trance from his towering presence, his light touch, his musky scent, his deep voice, Hermione answered without really thinking, "I keep seeing you…in front of me…your eyes scanning my body…and then that final moment…seeing such an intense hunger in your eyes…I can't stop thinking about it."

Severus slipped his fingers to the inside of her palm, allowing them to dance and trace, loving the sharp intakes of breath he heard from her, knowing this was what she needed, what she wanted, that he was reaching that hidden depth that was still untouched. "Did you find pleasure in watching me stare at your body, seeing every inch of you?" he whispered, hoping she'd answer truthfully.

Hardly able to stand the combination of his caresses and the sensuality emanating from him, seemingly entrancing and controlling her, Hermione answered with no hesitation, "Very much so. I picture it every night when I'm in bed."

"What do you feel when you think about it?" he purred, never letting go of her arm, his fingers with a mind of their own as they grazed her flesh, thankful she was allowing herself to open up with him.

Her eyes were locked with his, unable to look away even if she wanted, and felt no control over her body and mind, as if she'd given both to him completely and was subject to his whims. "I feel…excited…almost…intoxicated…like I have to have more," she said quietly, reeling from the effect he was having on her. She heard her words and was surprised by her admittance.

"Do you want more?" he whispered, finding it near impossible to not grab her and ravish her right then. "Do you want me to do that again? To kneel in front of your naked body and allow my eyes to take in every inch of exposed flesh? To allow you to see the depth of my desire?"

Nodding, amazed at the sensual words dripping from his lips, excited by his silky deep voice, she answered, "Yes I do."

All in one swift fluid movement, he took her arm and spun her around so her back was against his chest, covering her hands with his, their fingers entwining, holding her close to him, his breath near her ear. "Will you do something for me?" he whispered, controlling her hands, gliding them over her body. "Will you picture that scene again tonight? And will you fantasize, picturing me doing whatever you'd like me to, feeling my touch and lips wherever you want? And while you're doing that…," he slid their hands slowly up to her breasts, gently squeezing, and then down to the warm triangle between her legs, gently pressing, before settling them at her waist, asking, "Will you touch yourself while you're envisioning me? Will you bring yourself to climax while fantasizing about me pleasuring you?"

Closing her eyes, his words causing stirrings within her, turning her on as no other touch ever had, never wanting him to stop, she would have agreed to anything. "Yes, Severus," she whispered. "I will."

Allowing his lips to graze her ear, eliciting a small gasp from her, he quietly growled, "Will you tell me about it after so I can then have my turn at fantasizing about you laying in bed, your hands crawling over your body, thinking about me?" He pressed her against his body, forcing her to feel his excitement hardening, proving his desire.

"Yes," she answered quietly, wanting him to turn her around and take her right there in the classroom.

"You must go now," he told her, resisting the urge to face her and crush his lips to hers. "It's late and you have an assignment to finish." He let go of her hands and pushed her forward slightly, hating to do it but knowing it was right for now, hoping they would have their time. Tonight had been unexpected but he found once he started talking to her and saw her physical responses, he couldn't stop himself from diving in.

"Okay," she said, walking from him, glancing around with a small smile. "Goodnight."

With a slight smirk, he answered, "Goodnight, Hermione."

Hermione found herself in awe as she slowly walked back to the common room, never having experienced anything like what just happened. She couldn't believe the effect he had on her, the way his words dripped from his lips, causing physical excitement to stir inside her, his soft caresses shooting electricity through her body, commanding her to obey with a subtleness she'd never known. She also couldn't believe what she'd said, what she'd admitted, with no hesitation, as if his very essence took away her inhibitions. And she could not deny how erotic the conversation had been; never thinking words could affect her like they did, wondering how he could pleasure her with nothing more than soft murmurs in her ear.

Later in bed, she was instantly compelled to do what he asked her to, curious to see how it would feel, quickly allowing her hands freedom in the darkness that she'd never really thought about before. Touching herself was not something she'd tried because it never made a difference to her. But now, she couldn't wait, knowing it had been a request, knowing that he was thinking about her, wondering if she was doing it, anxious to hear about her experience later. With instantly hardened nipples, her fingers slid further down to the anticipating heat, touching, playing and probing, choking back moans and gasps as not to disturb those around her, realizing she must be quiet, not wanting to stop long enough to perform any kind of silencing spell around her. Images flashed through her mind; Severus kneeling in front of her, eyes gazing at her body once again, her eyes meeting with his and seeing the hungry desire in them, and this time adding her own thoughts of his hands touching her, holding her, caressing her body as his lips claimed hers in a wet kiss, their bodies pushed together. Then she thought of being in the classroom with him tonight, seeing the piercing stare of his eyes, hearing his words, feeling his breath on her ear, the warmth of his body pressing to her back…._oh god_…her core was immediately racked with uncontrollable spasms and convulsions, biting her tongue to silence her groans of passion, never having felt such a pleasurable height of ecstasy.

She was out of breath and panting, relaxing into the physical euphoria she was experiencing, feeling as if she was floating above the bed, amazed at what had happened, knowing she wanted it again, wondering why she hadn't felt anything like this with Draco. She smiled then and thought, _what is this man doing to me?_

Whatever it was, she wanted more.


	5. Decadence

_Many thank yous for the kind reviews. I have definitely tried to make ol' Sev much more sensual than hateful in this fic so I'm glad to hear that's coming across. I think the idea of a hidden sensuality no one would ever dream of in him is quite enticing, don't you?wink wink_

_

* * *

_

As he pulled the black silken sheets over his body, Severus couldn't believe Hermione's detention ended with him asking her such personal questions, holding her to him, pressing his manhood against her, guiding her hands with his over her body, asking her to pleasure herself while fantasizing about him and then to tell him about it. He had honestly expected a quarrel between them, especially when he decided to approach her and apologize for his behavior in the staircase, never thinking it would quickly escalate into a sexual conversation, not that he minded of course. In the appropriate setting, he had no qualms about his sexuality, either the physical action or the discussing of, in fact he'd never met anyone that didn't embarrass easily at the mention of sexual topics and didn't understand. Feeling embarrassed meant being ashamed and he saw nothing to be ashamed of as sex was to be enjoyed, savored, like the long awaited bite of a favorite dessert, taking it all in and closing one's eyes, rolling around the sugary sinfulness with the tongue, moaning in sheer bliss, waiting as long as possible before swallowing the delicacy completely. Sex embodied freedom of the flesh and the mind, clothed in passion, fueled by desire, consummated in heat and, with a few of the right potion ingredients included, was the most powerful experience one could ever have, taking the senses to an entirely new level of awareness.

As the cool sheets caressed his body, the soft pillow and thick bed cover enveloping him completely, Severus picture Hermione's reactions again, as they were refreshingly innocent and beautifully real, something he didn't see much of. The hormonal students hopping in and out of beds were missing the full enjoyment, and he figured they didn't really care to take long enough to learn, so long as they were getting off. They didn't understand the progression, the mystery, the anticipation, the touches and caresses, the spoken words of pleasure; they missed all of it and therefore, as far as he was concerned, had empty sexual experiences. He had known the emptiness when he was younger, he did admit, but was quick to study and explore and find a whole new world open up to him. He pictured Hermione's big brown eyes as she'd watched him, as if he had performed some wonderful trick, seemingly unaware of her cooperation, never really stopping to think, just answering honestly, reacting to her first instinct, allowing herself to become hypnotized by the moment. And when he'd touched her inner arm and palm, lightly tracing with his fingers, he'd felt her stiffen up at first and then relax, quick inhalations of breath that were sheer music to his ears proving her pleasure, encouraging him to do more. He remembered her simple answers of "yes I will" and "yes I do" and understood how they could sound to some as a slave obeying her master, but in reality, was a woman discovering a hunger deep within, searching for nourishment to satisfy that hunger, willing to accept that which he was offering.

_What are you doing, you old fool,_ questioned that all too familiar voice inside his head. _She is still a student and look at what you just did. Discussed sexual topics, touched her, crossed over a boundary that is highly inappropriate. You could lose your job for such asinine behavior as this. What has gotten into you?_ _You ridicule the students for allowing their hormones to control their actions but isn't that exactly what you're doing? You're how many years older than her? You're supposed to be the responsible one. You were doing great, especially finally assigning her detention, and then you blew it! You allowed your hormones to get the best of you, disguising it as an apology, knowing what you intended to attempt with her. You've gone mad!_

_I have _not _gone mad, _he argued back against the inner voice that wouldn't leave him alone. _I am perfectly sane and know exactly what I'm doing. It's not the first time I've been with a seventh year student and probably won't be the last. I do not place limits on the flesh or myself nor will I begin to. She needs to discover the sexual dynamic that most miss and I am prepared to show it to her. Would this be happening if it weren't for her botched abortion attempt, ending up in my care? Possibly not. But I cannot deny the eccentric intimacy it created, the mutual attraction or my desire for her to experience true sensuality and sexual freedom. What am I doing so wrong? I'm not forcing her into anything nor am I coercing or threatening her. If she didn't want to do anything, if she never responded to me, if she told me to bugger off, that is exactly what I would do. _

He turned over in bed, searching for a comfortable position, stretching out his long legs under the sheets, and wondered what tomorrow would bring. Would Hermione have changed her mind? Or would she still be willing and receptive? He hoped for the latter and allowed visions of her to fill his mind as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Saturday morning was quite busy as most of the students were once again headed to Hogsmeade, wrapping in layers to protect themselves from the icy wind of winter that had descended upon the castle. Hermione was curled up on the couch with a book as everyone was gathering their belongings to head out. 

"Hermione," Ron whined, wrapping a gold and red scarf around his neck. "Don't tell us you're not going again." After sharing such a close friendship with her over the past six years, it was odd to feel estranged as he had ever since they'd returned to school, thinking that she didn't want to spend time with her old friends.

Her big brown eyes were apologetic as she said, "I'm sorry. I just don't want to go. Don't be mad please." She knew they were concerned because her actions had been out of the ordinary lately but there was no way she was not going down to the dungeons today.

"As long as you're all right," Harry said with his trademark smile, not too worried about his friend because she'd acted more like herself lately. "Want us to bring you anything?"

"No," she answered. "But thank you."

"Wait for me!" Ginny called out, rushing down the stairs, trying to slip her arm into her coat, winking at Hermione as she ran by. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

Hermione's eyes were wide in surprise as she watched the boisterous crowd leave the common room, the silence of emptiness a warm blanket around her. Why did Ginny say that? _Draco. _That had to be it. Ginny was assuming she was seeing Draco again instead of going to Hogsmeade. Hermione smirked with Ginny's mistaken assumption. No, it would not be Draco's chambers she'd be visiting this time.

It would be his teacher's.

* * *

"I don't get it," Ron was saying as they headed for the Three Broomsticks for warm butterbeer and shelter from the freezing snow pricking their faces. "Why doesn't she want to spend time with us anymore? She's been acting funny ever since we got to school this year." 

"I keep telling you she has more schoolwork than we do and you know how she is about that," Harry reminded his friend again. "I wouldn't worry about it, Ron. At least she's been herself lately. I was really worried for awhile and considered going to Dumbledore."

"Guys," Ginny said, getting really tired of hearing the two discuss her. "Have you ever thought maybe she's _seeing _someone while we're gone?" She thought of her friend with Draco and felt a tiny pang of jealousy.

Harry and Ron looked at each other and then back at Ginny.

"Who is she hooking up with?" Ron asked, feeling slightly jealous himself and hating it, knowing he'd never really gotten past the crush he had on her, wishing his freckled face wouldn't give his blush away so fiercely.

"I thought she would tell us when that happened," Harry said, almost disappointed that she would hide it from them. "We've both told her about our firsts."

Ginny smiled and shook her head. "She doesn't tell you everything," she informed them and walked on ahead into the Three Broomsticks, leaving the guys to ponder her words. She glanced about the room and whipped her head around, red hair flying about her shoulders, doing a double take when she saw Draco on the other side of the room.

Now _she_ was confused. Was there someone new? Was she really studying? She would have to question her friend later as the curiosity was killing her. Damn her secretiveness!

* * *

Hermione stayed in the common room, working on her assignments as long as she could, before showering and changing to begin her anxious trek to the dungeons. She hadn't been able to concentrate on anything and finally gave up, assuming that Severus was there, doubtful he was at Hogsmeade as she'd never known him to go when the students did and hoped he was expecting her since it would be a perfect opportunity with so many gone from the castle. Her heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, wondering what he would do or say and how she would react. She'd never thought of him as anything but a mean, hateful teacher but now noticed the sensual, erotic being that he was, having seen proof, and was curious as to the depths within him. 

As she walked along the stone halls, Hermione couldn't help but wish that she hadn't been with Draco, but then realized if she hadn't been with him first and found herself in trouble, she would not have been heading down to the dungeons to see Severus now as there never would have been the reason that brought them together in the first place, not able to deny it was quite an odd twist of fate. Never would she have thought she could be thankful for what she went through but in all reality was.

* * *

Severus rounded the corner, returning from an appointment with Dumbledore, to find Hermione knocking in his classroom door, ready to leave since there'd been no answer, and immediately smirked as he quietly approached, quickly admiring her body from behind dressed in a white long sleeve shirt and dark plaid skirt hanging mid thigh, Gryffindor colored socks clinging to her calves inside black Oxford shoes. 

Leaning close to her, catching the fresh scent of soap and fruit scented shampoo, he whispered, "Looking for me?"

Hermione jumped, hand clutching her chest and said, "You scared me! Don't do that!"

He noticed the flush across her face and asked impatiently, "Well?"

"Well what?" she asked, still catching her breath.

Towering above her, he leaned down and repeated, "Are you looking for me?"

Hermione noticed the eyebrow above his eye raise and saw the curiosity in his black pools of color as she answered, "I'm knocking on your door, aren't I?"

With another smirk, he unlocked the door and pushed it open, allowing her to walk in first, amused by her sassiness and not at all surprised. "So, _Miss Granger_," he mocked, his tone playful, walking past her to his desk and sitting down, leaning back in his chair, elbows resting on the leather covered arms, fingers entwined in front of his body. "To what do I owe this honor?"

Feeling confident and not at all uneasy, Hermione leaned against the mahogany desk, one hand on her hip and the other placed on a stack of parchment, and answered, "Well if you'll remember, _Professor Snape_, you gave me an assignment."

"Yes I suppose I did," he said, forcing his expression to remain neutral, enjoying the playfulness in the energy surrounding her, hoping she would continue the verbal banter. "And is it complete?"

She smiled, remembering the night before, amazed at how it took only seconds of touching herself and thinking of him before her body rocked with pleasure, and then answered, "Yes it is."

He leaned forward, closer to her, slightly having to adjust his lower region as it was demanding attention and asked, "Where is it then?"

Clasping her hands behind her back, Hermione answered, "Oh it wasn't that kind. I have nothing to turn in." Her body just barely turned from side to side as she smiled, hardly believing she was _flirting_ with him in the very classroom she'd dreaded entering for years. This year had already proven it wouldn't be like all the others though so she really wasn't too surprised.

Severus loved the enticing banter; glad she was playing along so easily, and allowed himself a freedom with her that had been hidden for too long. "So how do I know the assignment was completed if there's no proof?" he asked, locking onto her eyes with his.

Stepping closer to him, she answered with a smirk and giddy tone to her voice, "I guess I'd have to tell you and you'd have to take my word for it."

He resisted the urge to pull her into his lap and instead asked, "Well, _Miss Granger, _perhaps we should move to a more appropriate location for proof of said assignment?"

"Lead the way, _Professor Snape_," Hermione said with a twinkle in her eyes, unsure what the immediate future would hold but more than willing to find out.

* * *

They left the classroom and began climbing staircases, Hermione near winded after the first four, struggling to keep up with Severus' long steps. She didn't recognize where they were going and wanted to ask but decided not to, remaining quiet, following him. 

Ten minutes later, Hermione thankful the journey was over, they approached a door that he unlocked with a spell, one that she had a feeling no one else knew. He pushed it open and allowed her to step inside first, closing and locking the door behind them with another spell. Hermione looked around, wondering where she was. The main room was like a smaller version of his office area, complete with a mahogany desk, three bookcases that extended from the floor to the ceiling and two leather-covered chairs in front of the desk. There were numerous bottles of all shapes and sizes scattered around reflecting light from the large window on the other side of the room. She looked through a halfway closed door, seeing an adjoining room, catching a glimpse of the end of a four-poster bed, turning to face Severus with the obvious question displayed on her face.

"This is where I stay during the summer when there is no school," he explained, walking over to the window, stepping into the orange glow of the sunset cascading in. "All my things stay in the classroom and my adjoining chamber but I always have it cleaned, reorganized and restocked. I have found it easier to stay away during that time and Dumbledore provided this."

She nodded, walking over and joining him in the sun's glow, unable to believe the view before her, looking out across the lake, mesmerized by the smoky white surface of the frozen water, reflecting the bright orange and yellow of the sunset perfectly, glancing up at Severus, noticing a stirring inside her as the sun's glow provided a warmth to his face she'd never seen in the cold damp dungeon. Quickly, she looked away and inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself, realizing she was nervous, unsure of what would happen.

"This is a beautiful view," she finally said. "I'm surprised you don't spend more time here to away from everyone. I don't think I've ever been in this part of the castle."

"You and your friends did not discover _all_ of Hogwarts' secrets," he told her with a smirk, looking down and meeting her eyes with his, turning to face her. "Now, what about this assignment proof that I'm due?"

The confidence she'd possessed in his classroom had disappeared as they'd journeyed up to this secluded chamber, still fighting nervousness now that she was _completely _alone with him. _You want this, _she told herself. _What are you waiting for? Why are you nervous?_

"Come here," he said quietly, taking her by the arm, gently moving her in front of him at the window, noticing she'd lost the sassiness from earlier and thought maybe looking directly at him was affecting her. "Tell me, Hermione.I want to hear."

She stared out across the water, eyes darting back and forth when he placed his hands on the windowsill on either side of her, well aware of how close he was behind her, their bodies not quite touching. "You gave me…that assignment," she said quietly, unsure of how to start.

Closing his eyes and inhaling the fresh scent of her soap and shampoo again, imagining picking her up and carrying her into the bedroom, Severus asked, "What assignment did I give you?"

"You wanted me to…think of you kneeling in front of me…and fantasize about you…doing more," she said quietly, closing her eyes, remembering how she'd felt the night before, how her body had instantly responded to thoughts of him, her muscles tightening inside again in anticipation.

"And what else?" he whispered, stepping closer to her, purposely allowing his breath to tickle her exposed earlobe.

Biting her lip, shudders of excitement flooding her body, wanting to turn around and grab him, but knowing he wouldn't let her, Hermione answered, "You wanted me to…touch myself…to…" It was on her lips but she fell silent, almost feeling embarrassed, telling herself she shouldn't.

Pressing his cheek against the soft chestnut colored hair, allowing his lips to barely graze her ear, he whispered, "Say it, Hermione. I want to hear it."

Feeling his cheek against her hair and his breath caressing her ear, his hands crawled over hers on the sill and were gently squeezing, working their way up her arms when she answered, "You wanted me to…bring myself to climax…fantasizing about you."

He smiled then, closing what little distance there was between them, his body barely touching hers and whispered, "Yes that is what I wanted. So how did you complete the assignment?"

Inhaling deeply, fighting to concentrate, nearly overloaded from his touch and spicy scent, his hands sliding down from her shoulders to her waist, his body pressing harder against hers, his lips in contact with the exposed flesh of her ear, she answered, "I was lying in bed…and I began to…touch my breasts first…and then I slid my fingers…further down…and played…and probed…and it didn't…take long before…" She trailed off, closing her eyes and relaxing back against him, allowing herself to become entranced once again, knowing she would allow him to do whatever he wanted with her.

"Before excruciating pleasure tore through your body, briefly controlling it and claiming it for its own," he whispered, voice deep, purposely grazing his lips over her ear again, breathing heavier, his hands on her hips, pulling her to him, making sure she felt his want. "After you imagined my eyes scanning your body, what else did you imagine me doing?" His entire body throbbed in desire and realized his hands would soon start crawling over her.

"You…kissed me…passionately…fiercely," she answered in a whisper, sensing his hands slowly sliding in a "V" from her hips to the heat between her legs. "You touched me…everywhere…" Her breath caught in her throat as she felt his fingers through her clothing. "…carried me to your bed…" Now they were moving in lazy circles, causing her muscles to tighten even more. "…covered my body with yours…" Her hands gripped the window sill as her eyes squeezed shut, his hardened member pushing against her, disrupting her thoughts as her head tilted to the side, revealing her neck, biting her lip when she felt his warm breath on the new flesh. She moaned quietly, forgetting she was talking, as his fingers continued their circles, pressing against her core, her legs shifting and moving, wishing he would slide under her skirt.

"Tell me more or I'll stop," he growled into her ear, letting his tongue trace a wet trail up her neck before following it with his lips, keeping his eyes shut, reveling in their closeness.

Groaning and fighting for breath, she tried to think of words, of what she had pictured. "You…were on top of me…kissing me again…" The circles of his fingers sped up slightly, her mouth opening in response but nothing coming out for a moment. "Um…you were touching me…sliding your hands over me…" His hips were barely moving now, grinding into her. "…you played with me…there…I felt your fingers inside me…oh god…please Severus…" Their hips swayed in gentle circles while his fingers sped up again, pressure increasing, causing more muscles to tighten and her to lose her breath, aware of his teeth nipping her neck.

"Please what?" he whispered into the hollow of her ear, wondering how in the world he was ever restraining himself from simply attacking her, realizing he hadn't been this turned on in months, maybe years, imagining ripping her clothes off and pressing her naked body to his bed, pushing inside her repeatedly.

She moaned again, body racked with pleasure, begging for release. "Please…I…it's…so close," she stammered, hips still grinding together, her hands hurting from the death grip she had on the sill in front of her, wanting him to take her over the edge, needing him to.

"You want me to pleasure you till your cries of passion echo throughout this room?" he purred, purposely lowering his voice, as she frantically nodded in agreement. "Put my hands where you want them and I will." With no hesitation, she grabbed the digits, sliding them under her skirt, down into her underwear, to the heat begging for satisfaction, her hands reaching back up and gripping the material of his coat below his shoulders, eyes squeezed shut, biting her lip still, quietly moaning, lost in her own world. He groaned as he slid his fingers into her wet heat, swirling and probing in her soft folds, feeling her body tighten and push against his, listening to her moans melt into whimpers, quickly finding the fleshy nub, circling and flicking back and forth with the tips of his fingers. From the way her body was twitching and the gasps slipping from her lips, he knew it was a matter of seconds, seconds that he was in control of. "You had to be quiet last night," he whispered. "But not now. No one can hear you but me…and I want to hear your pleasure…I want to hear what I'm causing you to feel…hold nothing back." She pulled down on his coat with unbridled force, body twisting slightly as she stiffened up before the explosion, her hips bucking against his fingers, crying out, sounding in pain but feeling pleasure, her moans filling the space around them. He groaned with his own desire, listening to her ecstasy, feeling her wiggling body against his, her cries making his hardness throb more, wishing he could push into her wetness but knowing now was not the time, refusing to treat her as she'd already been treated.

When he felt her relax, he withdrew his hands, fixed her clothing and listened as she panted, her body falling back against his as he held her. His cheek gently pressed against her soft hair as she rested her head back on his chest, arms over his around her waist, turning slightly towards his face. "Severus," she breathed heavily. "That was…oh wow."

Smiling he said, "I'm assuming that has not been done."

She laughed slightly and shook her head. "Not even close," she confirmed. "That was so…damn…I mean…"

"Shh," he whispered, squeezing her slightly. "Don't explain it, just savor it."

Minutes passed, each lost in their own world, neither moving from their embrace as the glow from the sun disappeared from sight, twilight coloring the sky instead. An intimate silence surrounded them, a growing intimacy that was somewhat foreign to both, as they stood entwined, breathing slow and steady.

"I think everyone will be returning from Hogsmeade," he said quietly. "You should also, to your dormitory."

Hermione turned around in his arms, hesitant of where to put her own hands, choosing to leave them at her sides, unsure if she should touch him or not. Questions flew through her mind but chose to ignore them for now, looking up into his eyes, somewhat surprised she was not embarrassed to face him after their recent action, and saw satisfaction in the black pools staring back at her. She was the one pleasured; why would he be satisfied? "What are you doing to me?" she whispered with a slight smile, shaking her head.

"I am your teacher, am I not?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "I'm teaching you."

"Teachers usually have a class," she pointed out, thinking again how she just wanted him to take her then and carry her to the bedroom to have his way with her.

"Sometimes a student needs extra…_tutoring_," he told her. "And being a Hogwarts teacher, I certainly can't hold anything back when a student needs a little extra…_encouragement _now can I?" Raising his hand, he allowed the back of his fingers to lightly run along her full lips, watching as they barely separated, her eyes closing and melting into his touch, wondering how soft her lips would feel against his, refusing to allow himself the decadence just yet. "Should I not continue this expansion of your education?" he whispered, imagining how it would feel to slip just one finger into her mouth and allow her tongue and lips to close around it in wetness, attempting to push the thought aside.

"Please continue," she breathed, sad when his fingers left her lips, still tingling from his touch. "And how many lessons are there?" Her eyes met his again, wanting to ask him so many questions, but not knowing where to start.

"As many as you need," he answered. "But you must go before your presence is missed. I do not need to remind you that our actions must stay between us and of the consequences that could befall us if they don't."

Reality closing around her, she said, "I wouldn't say anything. It's no one's business."

Stepping aside, he said, "Goodnight Hermione."

She smiled and walked out of the room and began her journey back to the common room, wondering where this would lead with him, wondering if they would consummate this fully, hoping that it would be soon as she didn't think her body could handle much more. She shook her head and laughed as she jogged down the stone steps, absolutely amazed with him and his _talents_. She just never would have thought he was capable of such…sexual prowess…as his every word and touch ignited an immediate fire deep within the hidden darkness of her very being, as if somehow he knew what was in the shadows, knew her passions better than she did. How would she sit in class and look at him with the same contempt as she had years previous, knowing this erotic side to him, knowing what he could do to her with mere words, much less actual touches? How would she hide her smile? Or hide her blush from knowing he'd touched her, caused her to cry out in pleasure she'd never known?

Hermione could do it. She knew she could. She was a Gryffindor after all.

Severus remained in his hidden chamber, becoming lost in his thoughts as he stared out into the darkness. He knew he was playing with fire but it was not the first time, not the first seventh year student he'd spent personal time with, and knew it wouldn't be the last. Dumbledore had found out about one of his past encounters but had only told him to be careful, having known Severus since he was young and knowing the student had not been coerced or lied to. It wasn't that he purposely searched out female students, but that he found himself in situations that escalated into physical expressions and didn't care to stop them. It had been about three years since the last, however, and his desire was growing out of control, as he'd never waited this long before taking them to his bedchamber to consummate their want. He'd have to hurry this along before it became too obvious in class, wondering how he'd look at her without undressing her with his eyes or without hearing her whimpers of pleasure when she spoke.

_Well you've done it again_, the voice hissed inside his head. _So you figure it out._

A smile spread across his face as he realized it wasn't difficult to figure out at all. He wanted her, she wanted him, and he intended to see it to completion.


	6. Disappointment

**_Yes, yes…I know…time for a kiss…well read on then…and THANK YOU for the wonderful reviews. It puts a smile on my face every single time I read one!_**

* * *

"_Severus," she sighed as she pushed herself onto him, forcing his member to easily slide inside of her, moaning with the union of flesh. "Take me, Severus…show me ecstasy…fill me in every way…oh god…yes…" _

_He bit his bottom lip, eyes closed, raising his hips and hers in the dance of intercourse, slowly and methodically, taking his time and feeling every sensation, every inch of flesh he could, as she hovered above him, brown locks tickling his face as her hardened nipples grazed his bare chest. His hands squeezed above her thigh, controlling both their movements, fighting to maintain a rhythm that was their own. _

"_Harder," she whispered, her warm breath caressing his ear. "I want all of you…all you can give me…all that you are…" She pushed her hips against him, grinding and pressing, telling him physically she needed more, knowing he had more to give._

"_Hermione," he breathed, wrapping his arms around her body and pressing her to him, hand on her lower back as a brace as to push inside her further, moans escaping her lips as they kissed, her hair cascading over his face and shoulders. "You have all of me."_

Severus awoke with a body twitch that nearly sat him straight up in bed. He shook his head as he realized where he was, glancing at the clock on the nightstand that read "4:13". _Dammit_, he thought, lying back down again. This was the fourth night in a row where dreams of Hermione had not only flooded his mind but also caused him to abruptly wake up, chest heaving, lower region throbbing. _What is the matter with me,_ he thought. He'd never had such vivid, powerful dreams about anyone, and in each one the past four nights, there had been more than just sex; there had been this connection, this _emotion_ from both of them. _Emotion? No, I do not have that kind of emotion towards her. Yes I'm attracted to her and yes there is concern but the heart is not involved in this. I don't think I've ever felt that towards another. Go to sleep, Severus. _

The first three days of the week had already been torturous for him, trying not to stare as she walked into his classroom, trying not to picture her body in front of him, her hands gripping the windowsill, trying to ignore the whimpers still playing in his mind, over and over, finding it rather odd he had to _try_ to be scornful, had to actually make an attempt at being hateful as he wanted to smile at her and ignore everyone else in the room, knowing how unacceptable such behavior would have been. This had not been a problem in the past so what was the difficulty now? She was just another seventh year student; a 'brainy know-it-all' as he'd called her so often. Why was she having such an effect?

He pulled the sheets over him again and forced his mind to clear. _Enough_,he told himself_. You are starting to act like the hormonal students around you, and that would be most inappropriate.

* * *

_

Ginny had waited a few days to see if Hermione would say anything about Saturday, and when she never did, she decided to bring it up Thursday during lunch.

"So, how was Saturday?" she asked with a grin, eyes twinkling with hidden meaning. "Seems like we haven't had any chance to talk."

Eyes wide, fighting not to react like she wanted to, Hermione answered, "It was fine. I got most of my schoolwork done which was a relief. I had a couple big projects to get out of the way."

Nodding, finishing the bite of her sandwich, Ginny asked, "Was that all you did? You could have completed those Sunday, couldn't you? We really missed you at Hogsmeade."

They were in the Hall, huddled close at the Gryffindor table, and Hermione realized what she was asking. _Oh boy,_ she thought. _She's fishing._ "Well," she began with a feigned naughty smile. "I did see someone again. I just didn't want to say anything."

Ginny forced a smile, unable to believe what she was hearing. She'd never known Hermione to lie to her like she was now. "Had a good time did we?" she asked, wondering what her friend was hiding and why she couldn't tell her.

"Of course," Hermione answered. "I don't think you could have a bad time with him."

_So who were you really with,_ Ginny thought to herself. _I saw Draco at Hogsmeade. _"I see," she finally said. "I'm just glad you had a good time. But I hope you go with us next time."

"I will," Hermione said, hoping their conversation was over. "I promise."

Ginny kept her thoughts to herself, knowing something odd was going on, and began trying to think of ways to figure it out.

* * *

"Miss Granger," Severus growled after Friday's class had finished. "A moment please."

Harry and Ron offered sympathetic looks as she feigned worry, taking her time as she approached his desk, listening as everyone scurried from class behind her.

"Yes Professor Snape," she said quietly, turning to watch the last two students leave, the wooden door closing behind them_. Good._

His expression completely changed when he saw they were alone. "I'd like you to meet me here after dinner," he said quietly. "Only if you've no other plans, of course."

Hermione smiled. "I have no other plans," she told him. "I'll be here."

"Very good," he said with a nod, knowing he needed to keep the conversation brief. "Till then."

Almost wanting to skip and chastising herself for it, Hermione walked back to her table to gather her books and with more glance back to his desk, left the classroom, desperately trying to hide the smirk from displaying across her face.

* * *

"You've got another detention?" Harry asked as they sat at the table in the Great Hall. "Hermione, you'd better be careful."

"Why?" she asked curiously.

"I don't know exactly," Harry said. "It just seems Snape's been picking on you lately; more than usual for him. I don't like what I see in his eyes."

_I sure do_, she thought to herself. "I'm not worried about it," she said, mentally making a note not to use the detention excuse again. "I have been being a bit difficult. I'm sure I'll be fine."

"That git better watch himself," Ron said, feeling fiercely protective of Hermione. "I'm not the same boy that started here seven years ago. I'll do whatever I need to do for you."

She smiled warmly at Ron. "You're a wonderful friend," she said, touching his cheek. "But everything will be fine. Really. Please don't worry." She noticed him looking past her, anger flashing in his eyes, and turned around to see Draco approaching. _Bad timing, Draco_, she thought.

Flowing white hair, broad shoulders and a billowing black robe, Draco seemed to float to Hermione's side, leaning down close to her and whispering, "Where have you been?"

"I…I've been busy with classes," she lied. "I've had a lot of projects."

Ice blue eyes twinkling with lust, he leaned closer to her ear and whispered, "I think the third time will be a charm, don't you?"

No matter how much she had tried, Draco simply had no effect on her, not like Severus did. He was able to melt her with simple words while Draco had yet to melt her with words or touches. "Now, Draco," she said playfully. "I'm sure you have enough _friends _to keep you comfortable."

"Yes but I also have _favorite_ friends," he purred. "Which you are one of."

"Mr. Malfoy," she said. "You are disrupting my dinner. We will need to continue this conversation later."

He smiled then, shaking his head. "Soon," he said and walked away.

"Want me to curse him?" Ron offered, cheeks red with rage, and if he admitted it, a little jealousy.

"No," she said, gently touching his arm. "Let it go, okay?"

Severus sat in the front of the hall and saw everything, wondering what words were being exchanged to match the physical actions. He watched her fingers touch Weasley's cheek and just now his arm. He'd stared, knowing he shouldn't, as Malfoy had approached her, leaning close and saw her eyes flash in playfulness up at him. What was she saying? Was she going to bed with him again? Had she been with Weasley too?

He shook his head, trying to clear the visions from his mind. What was he doing? Why did he care if she touched Weasley or if she did bed with Malfoy again? For that matter, why would he care if she slept with half the school? Was he angry? His stomach churned and knew his eyes would give him away if he didn't get out of that hall as soon as possible, pushing back from the table and quickly excusing himself, almost rushing out, long and steady steps carrying him back to his classroom. What was this feeling?

_You're jealous_, that voice inside told him happily. _You are undoubtedly the lowest I've ever seen you. Not only can you not fully be with her but now you're actually jealous. I'm disappointed in you. You've done worse than go soft. You've fallen for her. For the brainy Gryffindor child prodigy!_

_I have not done any such of a thing_, he countered back, arguing with himself once again. _I do not fall for anyone, especially students. And I am not jealous. I don't get jealous. I'm…concerned. I don't want to see her get in trouble again. Dealing with it once was quite enough. And I don't trust Malfoy. _

_You're so blind, _the other voice continued. _You are so jealous you can't even recognize it. You need to stop this now before it gets worse and you slip up. How would it be if the truth got out? Brilliant Potions master hooking up with a student, a Gryffindor nonetheless. Think about what you're doing!_

Letting out a frustrated and rather loud growl, Severus raked a stack of books off a shelf, enjoying watching and listening to them crash to the floor, his heart pounding, eyes wild and strands of hair stuck to his face. "Stop it!" he exclaimed, leaning his elbows on the nearest shelf, cradling his head in his heads, sliding his fingers through his hair, absentmindedly massaging his scalp, subconsciously hoping it would make the inner argument stop.

* * *

Hermione quietly made her way through the dark halls and staircases down to the dungeon, her heart softly pounding, hoping tonight would be the night. She didn't understand what they were waiting for but realized his way was simply different than hers. Severus was a thirty-seven year old man with years of experience behind him, not a seventeen-year-old boy experimenting. Of course being with him would be completely unlike being with Draco. Thank goodness.

Approaching the door, she knocked softly, inhaling deeply to calm her nerves before hearing, "Enter."

She stepped inside, closing the door behind her, seeing Severus in the hallway between the classroom and his chamber, leaning against the frame, arms crossed, locking onto his eyes as she walked over to him, his black pools never straying from hers except for one brief glance up and down her body. "I'm not disturbing you, am I?" she asked with a small smile.

_Terribly,_ he heard inside his head. "Of course not," he answered. "I'm the one who asked you here." He swung his arm wide, motioning for her to enter his chamber. "After you."

He followed her inside, closing the door to the classroom, a hundred different thoughts rambling through his brain simultaneously. _Maybe I should stop this_, was one. _Maybe I just need to carry her to my bed. Maybe we should talk about this more. Maybe…_

"Severus?" Hermione said quietly, noticing an odd expression clouding his face. "If this is a bad time…"

"Forgive me," he said, not wanting to let on anything was going through his mind. "I was just about to partake in a couple shots of firewhiskey. Have you had any?" He walked past where she stood at the fireplace over to the small table by the window to pour two small glasses of the amber colored liquor for them. Well maybe more for him.

"Not yet," she answered, starting to say she wasn't old enough to purchase it in Hogsmeade but deciding not to, walking over to where he was standing. "I'd love some though."

He turned, handing her a crystal glass with an inch of liquid in it. "Cheers," he said with a smirk, lightly clinking his glass to hers, finishing his firewhiskey in one swallow, eyes squeezing shut as he felt the burn down his throat and into his stomach.

Trying to ignore the strong spicy scent, she swallowed a little bit, immediately coughing, not prepared for the burning sensation down her throat.

"Are you all right?" he asked, pouring another for himself.

"Yes," she said, clearing her throat. "I just wasn't ready for that." She tried again, taking another small sip, not coughing this time, realizing it tasted rather good, intrigued with the tingling sensation in her legs. "This is much better than butterbeer."

Severus smirked, pouring her a little more, grabbing the bottle and heading over to the couch. "Let's sit," he said, seeing no point to standing at the small table.

The warmth from the fireplace felt good as Hermione joined him on the couch but then realized she was feeling warmth inside of her body too. _This is good stuff_, she thought, finishing what was in her glass and holding it to him for more to which he quickly obliged. The tingling sensation had moved up from her legs to engulf her entire body and her head felt a little funny, like it was floating above her.

Severus enjoyed seeing her drink the firewhiskey, knowing it would help them both to relax, quite certain they needed it. "I don't drink often," he told her. "Just occasionally." His inner turmoil from earlier was silenced and was thankful, hating the arguments that bounced back and forth inside his head. "We must not drink too much. This is strong liquor."

Finding a nerve had surfaced, Hermione flashed her smile and asked, "What? Can't you handle your liquor, Sir? Afraid you'll lose control of yourself?"

Her comments surprised him at first as he swallowed more firewhiskey, grateful for its calming effect. "Oh I can handle my liquor," he said. "But I'm afraid you can not and I don't think anyone would understand me carrying you back to your dormitory."

"Think that might be a little obvious huh?" she asked with a small laugh, happy when she saw him laugh a little at her comment.

"Yes just a little," he said, enjoying this moment. "Nor would we be able to explain you spending the night in my chamber."

She sat closer to him and said, "Yes that would be difficult, wouldn't it?" After another sip, she added, "But terribly fun I'm sure."

"Terribly fun?" he repeated, looking down at her sitting beside him, instinctively putting an arm around her as she leaned her head back against his shoulder. "I've never heard it termed that before."

"Heard what termed that before?" she asked quickly, holding her glass out for him to pour more yet again, enjoying the fact it was her asking the question this time and not him.

He didn't miss it either and almost laughed. "Sex, Hermione," he answered unabashedly, feeling slightly intoxicated, his entire body feeling light as a feather.

Looking up, head spinning a bit, she met his dark eyes and said, "Yes please."

"You're incorrigible," he told her. "Really, Miss Granger, you must get a hold of yourself."

"Me?" she said, feigning shock. "You're the one who has been getting a hold of me!"

"I do not know what you are referring to," Severus said, teasing her. "Perhaps you've had enough already."

"Oh I don't think so," she played back, feeling quite comfortable with him. "You know exactly what I'm referring to, whether you can admit it or not."

"I can admit whatever is true," he told her, as he filled their glasses again, just a shot at a time.

Hermione took a long swallow, setting her glass down on the glass table in front of them, poking him in the side, surprised when she saw him jump. An evil smile formed on her lips as she turned slightly to face him, poling his side again, watching him jump again, removing his arm from around her to protect his body. "Oh my god, you're ticklish," she said with a giddy laugh. "The serious potions professor is _ticklish._"

_Damn her_, he thought, forcing himself to keep a straight face, trying to push her away, setting his own glass on the table. "Nonsense," he told her, trying to grab her hands. "You are mistaken."

"I think I'm right," she said, dancing around his hands, aiming for his stomach, seeing a small smile on his lips as he tried to fight her. "I think I'm very right. And since it's true you have to admit it."

"I will do no such of a thing," he told her, losing the battle against her quick hands, realizing how wonderful it felt to be playing like this, allowing his guard to disappear for awhile.

"Don't laugh now," she said, laughing herself, daring around his hands. "Don't break…don't laugh…you know I'm right…admit it."

Not able to do it any longer, he started laughing, reveling in the emotion he experienced, making one more attempt to grab her hands in desperation, succeeding in gripping her wrists and keeping them from his body, pushing her body back to the couch, hands above her head, finding his body on top of hers, chests heaving in unison, eyes dancing in numerous questions.

Feeling the weight of his body on hers and the soft material against the back of her hands, Hermione waited breathlessly for him to do something as she looked up into his dark eyes, filled with an emotion she'd never seen in them before. They were happy, genuinely happy and it was almost an odd look for him. Strands of his black hair tickled her face as she lay underneath him. _Please,_ she thought.

Her brown locks were splayed across the dark green of the couch, her brown eyes piercing into him as if trying to read his mind, her lips barely parted, breathing heavily and wanting him. She wanted him, not Weasley or Malfoy. And he wanted her. The firewhiskey had taken most of his inhibitions away, what few he had anyway, as he saw his hair touching her cheek, purposely moving his head slowly as to caress her with it, smiling when she closed her eyes. She was beautiful laying under him, subject to his desire, willing to accept whatever he would do or say and unafraid of him, as so many had been.

Closing her eyes made her head spin a bit more but she didn't care. She loved every sensation consuming her body, the most recent being the ends of his hair touching her cheek, brushing softly against it, fighting to keep quiet the moans inside of her. She opened her eyes in time to see his mouth press to hers, gently at first, his tongue slowly dipping inside her mouth, slowly pulsing into her wetness, swirling in lazy circles, as she responded with her entire body. The combination of their tastes with the firewhiskey only escalated her passion, groaning quietly into the lingering kiss.

He lifted momentarily to glance into her eyes, seeing satisfaction and yet a building hunger, before seizing her lips with more force, their kiss deeper as he instinctively pressed his lower half into hers, feeling her grind back up against him, moaning softly in his repressed desire. _Now_, he told himself. _Take her now. Everything is perfect. Just do it. _He lifted his head again, gazing at her once more. _But we're drinking and slightly intoxicated,_ he thought. _I don't want this to be affected by a foreign substance. I haven't even brewed my normal potion for such times. – There you go again, _the other voice disrupted. _It's not her first time so why are you so worried about how everything is for her? And since when do you care anyway? It's sex, Severus, and that's it. – Because Malfoy didn't treat her properly either time, _he argued back. _I don't want to treat her as he did. I want to show her how it can be in the right dynamics, with the right apprehension, with the right feelings. _

_Feelings?_

He lifted himself from Hermione as quickly as if she'd slapped him, reaching for his glass and swallowing the remaining contents. _Feelings?_ _Oh no, _he thought. _That is exactly what I'm doing. I'm trying to make everything special for her because I…I care. This is not good. It can't be like this. The firewhiskey. It has to be the firewhiskey. Bad idea. _

Hermione sat up, extremely confused. "Severus?" she asked, not understanding his retreat from her, not sure if she should be concerned or not.

"I'm sorry," he said, pouring more liquid into his glass, downing it quickly.

She shook her head. "Did you just apologize?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yes I did," he answered, hoping more firewhiskey would take away what it created. "It's getting very late and I have many papers to grade before morning." He stood up, hoping she'd follow, heading to the door to the classroom.

Hermione sat dumbfounded, slowly standing up and following him into the classroom. "I don't understand," she said, watching as he sat down at his desk, noticing he wouldn't look at her.

"Forgive me," he said, heat rushing to his cheeks, ashamed of his actions and thoughts, realizing he needed to get a hold of himself before this turned into something it wasn't, both relieved and sad when he saw her turn and slowly walk out of the room, leaving him alone. He folded his arms across his desk and let his head rest on them. He felt like such a fool. What had come over him? He did need to just do it and get it over with and forget trying to make it into something. Why did he care? He didn't care. He just didn't. That's what he would do. The next time they were alone, regardless of where it was, he'd just do it. He could be his usual charming and sensual self as he had been numerous times without falling prey to what others did. It would not happen.

_I told you you've gone soft¸_ that voice reminded him. _But you wouldn't believe me. How pathetic. _

This time, he couldn't argue and felt the familiarity of his walls closing in around him once more.

* * *

Hermione dreaded the weekend as she slowly climbed from bed Saturday morning. It had taken her forever to fall asleep after her return from Severus' chamber, filled with confusion at what had transpired between them. When he'd finally kissed her, she thought maybe they would finish what they had started. But then he'd abruptly left her and started grading papers. It made no sense to her. She hadn't said or done anything to warrant that kind of response and wondered what was going through his mind to cause him to react like that. The short time period she'd been in his chamber, he'd acted quite odd, for him anyway, but she'd liked it. Tears fell from her eyes as she quickly brushed them away, fighting the emotion inside her when Ginny entered the room.

"What's the matter?" the younger girl asked immediately, noticing Hermione's sad expression. "Are you okay?"

Forcing a smile, Hermione answered, "Yes I'm okay. I just got a bad mark on one of my projects is all. You know how I am." She hoped Ginny would buy this excuse.

"Girl I'm worried about you," Ginny said softly. "You really haven't been yourself ever since we started this year. You know you can talk to me right? I swear I wouldn't say anything to anyone. You know you can trust me."

Hermione considered telling her everything that had happened but then heard Severus' warning in the back of her mind. "I know and I appreciate it," she said. "I'm just tired and stressed and shouldn't have taken all these blasted classes my last year."

"Okay," Ginny said unconvinced. "My offer still stands though." She watched as Hermione gathered clothes and headed for the shower, hardly able to wait for the next time she vanished with an odd excuse. She'd talked Harry into letting her borrow the Marauder's Map and knew it would tell her everything she needed to know. Part of her felt bad for spying like this but it was out of genuine concern for her friend.

Ginny just didn't believe Hermione's classes were her problem.


	7. Destiny & Truth

_Just a few comments…_

_Kazza – Thank you for your compliment. I tried to keep her situation realistic and yet not too horrible for the story. I have a personal involvement in this story and agree with you completely. I wish women did not feel like they had to hide or be ashamed._

_Nayeli – Thanks for your offer to beta. I've never had one so I might just take you up on that offer! And I'm so glad you think this stands out. I try very hard to NOT write what would be obvious._

_Serena – I'm not worthy! Go back to THE book! LOL Thank you so much for the compliment!_

_Sinilu – I have NEVER received such a wonderful and long review. You made my day._

_Actually, ALL of you make my day with your reviews! Love to all!_

* * *

Hermione allowed her thoughts to wander as she leisurely walked the halls on her way to the library. She was trying hard not to be furious with Severus after the events, or the lack of, the last time she saw him. They had been relaxed, with a little help from the firewhiskey, and had chatted and joked and, she thought, had a fun time, especially when she ended up on the couch with him on top of her, finally kissing her. It had been wonderful but abruptly ended, because of him, certainly not her. Then he retreated from her, and while it wasn't in anger, she couldn't figure out what it _was _from. She was frustrated but tried to understand his position as best she could. She did have to admit to herself that she was tired of the roller coaster though. He knew she wanted to be with him, and as long as he felt the same, what were they waiting for?

She turned a corner and passed by a large stone statue, startled when her arm was grabbed, being pulled into the darkened corner behind it.

"Finally," Draco hissed, pushing her body to the damp wall. "You're a hard one to find but I should have known to hang around the library."

"What are you doing?" she asked, pushing against his chest. "We can't play now. I have a project to work on."

"Hermione," he growled, pressing his body against hers, hands trying to crawl over her. "I want you. And I always get what I want," he told her, attacking her neck with his lips.

Frantically stopping his hands, Hermione realized he wasn't being funny. "Draco, stop," she said a little louder. "You know we can't do anything here. What has gotten into you?" This was not like him at all.

"I don't know what has gotten into me," he said, nipping at her neck and reaching for her skirt. "But I know what's about to get into _you_." He fought against her, sliding his hand up her skirt, determined to slide her underwear down. "Come on," he whispered. "Just real quick. It'll be fun. Unless you'd rather go to my chamber."

"Draco," she protested, still pushing against his chest and hand. "This is not the time! I was on my way to the library on an assignment. Please stop!"

"You and your damn assignments," he growled. "Don't you want this? You did the first two times. Come on, real quick."

"She said no!" the all too familiar voice exclaimed behind him, before snatching him by the collar and tossing him aside with ease. "Just what do you think you're doing, Malfoy?"

Hermione's heart pounded as she quickly fixed her clothes, watching as Severus towered over Draco, struggling to get up.

"I asked what you thought you were doing!" Severus boomed again, fire blazing from his dark eyes. "Do you not get enough that you have to attack a girl for sex? Aren't there enough willing to open their thighs for you?"

Draco was stunned into silence, having never seen anger like this from his professor, at least not directed at him or anyone in the Slytherin house. Had his teacher gone mad? Since when did he stick up for _Gryffindors…_much less this one? "I…we were…she…," he stammered.

"Get up!" Severus yelled, deep voice reverberating off the stone walls. "Get out of my face! You disgust me!"

Draco having finally found words to say, glared back at him and yelled, "You'll be hearing from my father!" He stormed off down the hall, rubbing the back of his neck where Severus had clamped his fingers.

Hermione stood perfectly still, not sure what to make of the incident that just happened before her eyes. Her breath caught in her throat when he turned towards her, briefly remembering what happened at the staircase when he'd slammed her into the wall and consequently tried to back up, quickly realizing she couldn't back up any further than she was. "I didn't…I had no idea…" she muttered, uneasy with the look she saw on his face. Certainly he wouldn't think she welcomed Draco's advances. He'd obviously heard her protesting right?

His eyes met hers before they scanned down her body, scrutinizing her clothes. "Maybe if you didn't wear…_provocative_ clothing…you wouldn't get attacked," he hissed in anger, not sure who he was more mad at; Draco for attacking Hermione, Hermione for being so damn irresistible or himself for reacting the way he did to anything involving the two.

Hermione's mouth dropped as she watched him turn and walk away. "What?" she shrieked. "What's that supposed to mean? Everything I have on is Hogwarts issued!"

_Don't do it,_ his inner voice warned. _Don't do it. _But it was too late. Rage coursing through his veins, Severus pointed his wand at her and growled a spell that disrobed her. He listened as she screamed, trying to cover herself to no avail, and smirked.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you?" she screamed, cowering back to the dark corner Draco had pushed her into. "Put my clothes back on me this instant, Severus!" Her heart nearly burst from her chest in both anger and embarrassment. He'd gone mad! Any understanding she had tried to have was now out the window.

"Now that's not something I thought I'd ever hear from you," he sneered, walking over to her and admiring the navy blue undergarments she was wearing, eyes longingly scanning her, realizing he wanted her right there. _God, you're no better than Draco,_ he heard in his mind. _You're trying to be an ass aren't you? Trying to be a prick so that these feelings of yours will go away? You disrobed a student in a hallway, you moron! Anyone could stumble upon this scene. Get a grip old man!_

The frustration and confusion from the last time she was in his chamber flooded her mind as she fought tears. "Why are you doing this to me?" she asked quietly. "You helped me, then attacked me, then acted like you wanted me but then didn't and now you're just humiliating me. Am I some kind of warped game to you? Is this where you get your pleasure from instead of sex?"

_Walk away now,_ he heard in his mind. _Before you do something, again, you will regret, you fool! But first you must fix this! _Raising his wand, Severus muttered the spell to return her clothing, then turned and briskly walked away from the trembling girl that was driving him insane. As his pounding steps echoed in the hall on the way to his classroom, he berated himself for his actions. When he'd turned the corner, hearing Hermione's protests to Draco's advances, he'd lost control, something he never did. Anger had consumed him and he allowed it to rule his actions, grabbing Draco and tossing him to the floor with every ounce of strength he had, wanting to punish him for getting her in trouble in the first place, consequently bringing him and her together. _Yes that's both quite professional and mature,_ he heard again. _Blame the student for your own weaknesses. _But it technically _was_ Draco's fault Severus was in this mess. If he hadn't gotten her pregnant, she never would have collapsed near the dungeons and he would still be scowling at her instead of fantasizing about her. _You're pathetic. _

And then disrobing her in the hallway…he smacked his forehead and shook his head in disgust. What was he thinking? What if they'd been seen? What if someone heard her? This couldn't go on. He couldn't continue like this. What was next? Would he take her in the middle of the Hall during dinner? At this rate, he might as well.

Lucius. There was someone he was not looking forward to seeing. _Damn Draco!_ He knew he would receive an owl with a note demanding a meeting with his father. Severus and he went way back, maybe he could use that to his advantage. Dealing with the white haired man was always like playing Russian roulette. _It's your own bloody fault. _How was he supposed to explain to this man, to this _Deatheater_ that he'd attacked his son because he was attacking a girl that he…that he…well what the hell did he call it anyway? That he _lusted _after? That he _wanted_ physically? That he felt protective of her after picking up the pieces from Draco's failed protection spell, causing her to try an abortion alone? This was utter nonsense!

He slammed the classroom door behind him, fuming as he stomped over to his desk, thinking he would attempt to grade papers but realizing the firewhiskey calling his name was a better choice. He headed into his chambers and over to the small table, quickly pouring a generous amount of liquid into the crystal glass, swallowing as much as he could.

* * *

Hermione was a mess of emotions. She was still upset from the other night with him and now she was hurt, angry _and_ humiliated. How dare he do such a thing! In the middle of the hall! What was he playing at with her? What was his problem? She didn't understand. One minute he was helpful and the next hateful. Then he's seducing her and the next he's retreating from her. Then he's protecting her from Draco and then embarrassing her. Was he toying with her? Is this how he dealt with women? Well he wouldn't deal with _her_ this way. Enough was e-bloody-nough. She'd give him a piece of her mind before returning to her common room, too flustered to even think about concentrating on her assignment now.

She walked down the hall, nearly running, ready to explode when she burst through the classroom door, expecting to see him hunched over at his desk, immediately heading to his chamber. When she walked through the doorway, she assumed he'd be on the couch, but didn't see him there either so she continued into his bed chamber, finally finding him sitting on the edge of his bed, glass in hand, empty from firewhiskey no doubt as she saw the bottle on the nightstand beside him, blankly staring at nothing in front of him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she asked through clenched teeth, crossing her arms.

He slowly turned his head, eyes devoid of any emotion piercing through her. "What the hell is wrong with _you_?" he returned. "Get out of my chamber! You were _not_ invited!"

"I will not," she said in defiance. "You have done nothing but play with my head and I'm over it. I'm not going to play whatever little game you've got going on!"

Head swimming with the large amount of firewhiskey he'd consumed in a short amount of time, Severus stood up, waving the empty glass in his hand. "Game? You want to know what game I'm playing?" he exclaimed, stepping closer to her. "I'm not playing any _game_ Miss Granger. I'm trying to deal with a situation that your indiscretion put me in!"

"My indiscretion?" she shot back. "What the hell kind of situation did my _indiscretion_ put you in, pray tell? You didn't _have_ to help me. You could have taken me to Poppy. And if you'll recall, I haven't done anything to you. You've been the one to do everything…or don't you remember? Maybe I should remind you?"

"Silence!" he growled. "I don't need reminders!" He ran a hand through his hair, control quickly slipping from his reach. "I'm reminded every time I walk in my bathroom, every time I see you in my classroom, every time I hear your voice in the hall, every time my head hits the pillow at night. That's the whole problem!" He took his glass and threw it against a wall, oddly soothed by the shattering of the glass.

Hermione jumped with his sudden burst of rage but didn't leave. "So what's wrong with reminders?" she asked curiously. "I have them too but they're not making me do crazy things. I'm not treating you nice one minute and bad the next. My god, Severus, forgive me for sounding mad but I thought we were leading to something here. Do you just fondle students for the fun of it? Take them up to your secret room and play with them like a toy, promising them more and never planning on delivering?"

Immediately he was in front of her, towering above her, eyes shooting darts of rage from their blackness. "Watch your tongue," he hissed. "I'm still your professor!"

"I might as well watch it," she spat back. "You certainly won't do anything with it!"

In only took a matter of seconds of blinding rage until Severus grabbed her head and brought her lips crashing against his, roughly exploring her mouth, his passion ignited by his anger as any logical thought of reason left his mind. Grabbing her arms below her shoulders, he uprooted her from where she stood, aware of her squeal, spinning her around and pressing her to his bed, mouth entwined with hers. One arm snaked under her waist, lifting and moving her up to the plush pillows, his body crawling over hers, his tongue controlling their wet kiss as his entire body throbbed with desire. Hands frantically worked on clothes as he wasn't clear as to who was working on whose clothing, but was satisfied nonetheless when their nakedness blended together after all had been discarded.

Hermione was panting as her jaw hurt from their continued feverish kiss, grasping at his body, pulling him to her, wrapping her legs around his. He grabbed her hands and placed them above her head, pushing them into the pillows, pausing their kiss long enough to lift his head and look into her eyes. She could barely feel him at her entrance, could feel the heat of his body on hers, the quick expanding and contracting of his chest, his hips pressing against her inner thighs and then hissed, "Don't you dare stop this now."

It was as if her words uncorked some hidden level of passion deeper within Severus as he groaned quietly, pushing himself into her wetness, closing his eyes at their union, his body nearly numb from the pleasure. He heard her moan then, her inner muscles tightening around him and began to pump his hips slowly in and out of her core, both breathless and moaning, fighting to kiss but unable to keep it intact through their movement. He felt her hips grinding against his and knew this would not be his longest performance and didn't care at the moment.

Head back and eyes squeezed shut, Hermione's body rocked with sensations she didn't think possible. He fit her perfect, hitting spots inside her that sent her head spinning in sexual intoxication, bucking her hips to his, wanting more, squeezing with her legs to encourage him as she felt his mouth on her neck, biting and sucking, causing more moans to slip from her lips as he finally released her hands, immediately sliding them into his silky hair and gripping tightly. She lifted his head slightly so their eyes met and whispered, "I have wanted this for so long." Somehow, she felt she needed to say it, that he needed to know.

Something inside his mind clicked back into place for a moment, allowing his anger to be replaced by desire. "How long?" he whispered back.

She smiled a bit, trying to catch her breath and said softly, "Ever since I arrived this year I think."

Pushing gently into her a little further and stopping, he lightly kissed her lips and heard himself say something that surprised him. "Too bad I didn't know," he whispered, cradling her in his arms so that her back didn't touch the bed, wishing he could pull her into his own body, joining his lips with hers once more and holding her against him so tight they moved as one unit. "You wouldn't have gotten into trouble."

Her eyes curiously studied him for a moment. "You would have been my first then," she told him, surprised _and_ confused by his statement.

His lips barely twitched in a smile. "Yes I suppose I would have been," he whispered, pushing any more thoughts away from his mind for the moment.

The fiery passion had evolved into something less antagonistic as her fingers slid into his black tresses once again. Their bodies moved together, both groaning into the wet kiss they shared, as she reveled in feeling as if she were on a cloud since she couldn't feel the bed. She was completely in his arms, their bodies meshed together as one. Slowly he began to move faster as his grip tightened around her. _God yes,_ she thought. _Yes._

The tightness surrounding him in her wet core pulsed and throbbed, bringing him dangerously close to his end. "Wait," he breathed. "I must do a protection spell."

"No," she said, trying to keep him close to her. "You don't have to."

He turned his head to the side as if trying to understand what she'd said. "We must," he said seriously. "I'm extremely…we don't need another incident." He pulled from her embrace, finding his wand among the pile of clothes and performing the appropriate spell, quickly returning to her, cradling her in his arms once more, thankful to be inside her again. His lips melted into hers, thrusting slowly but not able to take his time as his body took control away from his mind, the fire burning inside of him the driving force.

Hermione was drunk in euphoria, both from physical sensations coursing through her and also from listening to his pleasure, lost in his groans and sighs as his hips sped up, pumping into her with a fierce determination, unable to stop her own moans. With his head down, the ends of his hair tickling her neck and chest, she moved her legs higher up on the back of his, allowing him a bit more access, ecstatic when he hugged her so tight against him she could barely breathe, as his body convulsed in orgasm, gritting his teeth and crying out through them, his fingertips gripping her flesh.

It was a few moments before Severus was aware of his actions, heart racing, fighting to regain his breath. Opening his eyes that had been squeezed shut, he lifted his head to look at Hermione who was breathing heavily also, seeing the huge smile on her face, thankful for the happiness in her eyes. He smiled in response, releasing his death grip on her body and sliding from inside her, rolling over to his back, covering his face with his hands and chuckling softly.

"That's an interesting response," Hermione told him, rolling to her side, finding she was physically drained and really didn't want to move at all.

"Forgive me," he said, facing her, unable to stop smiling and thinking how odd it felt, but enjoying the fact that he _liked _how it felt. "This whole situation is really…unbelievable."

"That's a good word for it," she agreed, understanding what he meant. "If someone had told me my first year that I would be here with you now, I would have hexed them for life."

"I would have left Hogwarts I think," he said, shaking his head. As he remained quiet for a moment, visions of disrobing her earlier flashed through his mind, followed by a wave of guilt. "Hermione, please accept my apology for earlier with…with Mr. Malfoy. I would never…hurt you intentionally…physically or emotionally. I just…I reacted before thinking…something I never do. It will not happen again."

"I was glad you stopped him," she said, gently brushing a strand of hair away that had stuck to his cheek. "He would have forced himself on me and you know it. I just hope his father doesn't cause a problem for you."

"I can handle Lucius," he said quietly, not wanting to think about the inevitable meeting. "It's getting late though. You should probably return to your dormitory." His happiness from seconds ago vanished with the thought of her leaving.

Hermione caught the tone in his voice and felt the same thing. She wished she could curl up next to him, drifting off to sleep, and awaken in his arms in the dawn of morning. "Yes I suppose I should," she reluctantly agreed, sitting up and sorting through the pile at the foot of the bed for her clothes, slowly getting dressed, ignoring his eyes as they intently watched her, waiting until she'd finished before he began to dress.

They walked slowly from his bedchamber, through the outer chamber and into the classroom in a strange silence compiled of satisfaction, awkwardness and hesitancy. Hermione stopped at the door and turned to face him.

"Even though it didn't begin as such," she said, wanting to make sure he knew what she thought of the evening's event. "I'm glad the evening ended the way it did."

He reached for her hand and bent forward, kissing the top of it, eyes never straying from hers. "Until next time, _Miss Granger_," he said, voice deep and soft.

When Hermione left the Potions classroom, she felt like practically skipping back to her dormitory, trying to wipe the ridiculous smile off her face but having difficulty. She couldn't believe her evening, having only planned on going to the library. Regardless of how it transpired, she was happy they finally consummated this...well…whatever they were. She could have done without the roller coaster ride but it _was_ Severus Snape after all, shocked in hindsight of his capability to smile and laugh as he had done more than once in her presence. She had seen a whole new side to him over the past couple months that she never would have thought existed in her wildest dreams.

As she slowly crept into the common room, thankful for the darkness as everyone was asleep, Hermione felt secure that no one had missed her, quietly climbing the stairs to her bedchamber. She inhaled, still able to catch his scent, and crossed the room silently, ready to prepare for bed. A light from Ginny's bed caused her to snap her head around in surprise.

"Where have you been?" she asked.

"I told you I went to the library," Hermione answered.

"Well Harry was looking for you earlier," Ginny continued. "But when I sent him to the library, he came back and said that he never found you."

"I did go," she told her. "But then I got sidetracked."

Ginny really didn't want to do it this way but was extremely concerned for her friend, especially when the Marauder's Map revealed the location of Hermione earlier. "I have a confession to make," she said quietly. "Please don't be angry with me."

Hermione's heart began to pound. "A confession?" she repeated, sitting down on the edge of her bed. "What is it?"

"I've been so worried about you," she said, as if an apology. "You've been acting so strange and I…I got the Marauder's Map from Harry…and I used it tonight."

Her throat instantly dry, eyes wide in alarm, Hermione asked, "You used it tonight?" She found it difficult to continue whispering.

"Yes," Ginny said, lowering her head for a moment before looking back up. "I know you were with Snape."

Hermione didn't know what to say as she never thought anyone would ever find out.

"And I know what happened," Ginny said, even quieter, almost wishing now that she hadn't been so concerned. "The map…when people are…you know…it creates anagrams with their names…and I saw 'NEVERMORE HE IS US'."

_A blend of Hermione and Severus_, she thought to herself, not sure if she was more mad, confused or embarrassed. "Oh my god," she said, shaking her head. "Ginny…"

"I'm sorry," she wailed quietly, hoping like hell Hermione would forgive her. "You've acted so strangely…I just had to make sure you were all right…please don't be mad at me…if I'd known…I never would have looked at the map…I'm so sorry."

"Why didn't you ask me?" Hermione asked.

"I tried," she said. "But you kept saying you were with Draco…and you remember the Hogsmeade trip when you said you were with him here…he was at Hogsmeade."

Hermione remained quiet for a few minutes, realizing Ginny did genuinely care and wasn't spying on her to be mean. She tried putting herself in the younger girl's place and figured she would have done the same thing. "I'm sorry for lying to you," she whispered. "It's just…this thing with Sever…Professor Snape…it's all been rather odd…and you can understand why I couldn't tell anyone…you mustn't breathe a word to anyone…you have to give me your word, Ginny."

"I won't say anything," she said. "I promise." She paused, wanting to ask so many different questions, unsure of where to begin. "I have to ask…how did you go from Draco to Snape? The first was hard enough to see you with but…_Snape_?"

Hermione laughed quietly, understanding her friend's thoughts. "He's nothing like how he appears in class," she said. "This really isn't the best place to discuss it though. We'll go disappear somewhere in a day or so and I'll fill you in. Just please, please don't tell. Both of us could get into a lot of trouble."

"I won't," she said again. "And I will return the map to Harry for good."

* * *

As Hermione and Ginny walked through the halls, they passed Draco, noticing the sneer he displayed towards Hermione.

"What was that about?" Ginny asked.

"He's just mad because he can't have me any time he wants me," Hermione answered. "He'll get over it."

They walked into an empty classroom and sat down at the large tables. "Okay," Ginny said. "I don't think I can stand it much longer."

Hermione laughed. "It's not what you think," she said. "It's been a roller coaster for sure."

"I just want you to know that what you tell me will never leave my lips," Ginny promised her. "I would never hurt you or get him in trouble." She had definitely looked at him slightly different, knowing about him and Hermione.

"Remember a couple months ago when I was having those cramps?" Hermione began, seeing Ginny nod. "Well I found out I was pregnant…from Draco."

Ginny gasped. "Oh my god," she said. "Hermione!" Her eyes were wide in shock, hardly able to believe she'd been pregnant and didn't tell her.

"It's okay," she said. "I was a mess though and searched in the library, coming up with a labor inducing potion, thinking I could abort it with that, not wanting to take the time for more research or to ask anyone. The night I did it, I collapsed outside the girls' bathroom by the dungeons and Professor Binns found me, running to Severus as he was the closest teacher. He took me to his chamber and basically took care of me all night. I was near delirious and he had to read my mind to determine what I'd done. Then I got sick and then a fever so he put me in a cold bath and then finally to bed when it was over." She smiled at her memory. "He'd been amazing really. He was sincere and helpful and everything I needed him to be through it all. After we confirmed I was no longer pregnant, I broke down and cried and he held me, comforted me. It was like he was another person, Ginny. A wonderful, caring person."

"Weren't you embarrassed though?" Ginny asked curiously, trying to imagine herself in a situation like that. "I can't imagine dealing with that kind of issue with a man."

"I was in too much pain to care," Hermione answered. "But I was a little after the fact. He just assured me that it was no big deal." She paused. "There was this moment though when he helped me from the tub that was…well…it was erotic to say the least."

"Erotic?" Ginny asked. "Snape?" Those were two words she never thought she'd hear in the same sentence.

"Yeah," she said. "He just…he had knelt in front of me, drying me off because I couldn't stand on my own, and his eyes…they sort of scanned my body…and the look…the desire in his eyes…I've never seen such a hungry look before. I couldn't forget it."

"Really?" She did her best to envision what her friend was describing but simply couldn't do it.

"Yeah," she said again. "But then the next morning I got the cold shoulder because he felt uncomfortable with what had happened the night before, like he knew and had seen too much to remain professional."

"Understandable."

"Then I gave Draco a truth serum," Hermione said quietly.

Ginny's mouth dropped. "A what?"

"Well, I thought Severus said something to him after finding out he was the one to impregnate me," she explained. "I was just being stupid really. So I had sex with Draco again just to hear him say that Severus hadn't said anything to him, only to stay away from me, which of course made me furious. When I left his chamber, I ran right into Severus who was fuming because he'd seen me disappear with Draco earlier and was concerned I would get myself in trouble again. We had quite a heated exchange. A few days later, after giving him a hard time in class that I shouldn't have done, he gave me a detention, which ended up being rather enjoyable."

"You didn't do it in the classroom did you?" Ginny asked, hoping she would say no, not wanting to think of Snape having sex on the tables every time she walked into the room.

Hermione laughed. "No," she answered. "It was more a verbal exchange but sensual nonetheless. Then I didn't go on the second Hogsmeade trip because I spent some time with him again."

"Damn girl," Ginny said with a laugh, unable to believe how so much had happened right under her nose.

"It gets better," Hermione said. "Almost two weeks ago, I had another detention, or so I called it, but I spent more time with him and this time we finally got to kiss. I thought that that might be the night, but he was spooked by something. Then a few days ago, Draco tried to force himself on me in the hall but Severus heard him and pulled him off of me. After Draco threatened him with a meeting with his father, Severus then got mad at me for some reason. It was weird really. We both got raging mad and I went stomping off after him and…well…there we were on your map."

Ginny sat dumbfounded for a minute, processing everything her friend had just told her. "Wow," she finally said. "That's absolutely crazy. But are you…you're happy? Is this just a fling? Or is it more?" She found it hard to imagine Hermione and Snape in a relationship given their age differences and the fact she was still his student.

"It's just…physical I guess," Hermione answered with a shrug. "But sometimes I get these conflicting thoughts. I find myself thinking about him more than I should and sometimes he makes comments that sound a little more than just physical. I don't know really. I'm not calling it anything. He's so…he's more sensual than anyone I've known. Severus can do more to me with mere words than Draco can do with his entire body."

"Snape is a thirty something year old man," Ginny reminded her, not able to call him by him first name. "He should have plenty more experience. Draco is our age. What do you expect?"

"True," she agreed with a smile. "And I hope to find out more about his experience." She winked at Ginny.

* * *

Severus was only slightly startled when a small black owl gently tapped on the window behind his desk. He sighed, already knowing the purpose for the bird's visit, quickly opening the window and taking the green envelope, not surprised to see the forest green wax seal bearing the Slytherin coat of arms imprint. Taking a small silver knife, he cleanly sliced the envelope open, pulling out the folded letter.

_Dear Severus,_

_My son has informed me of a rather disturbing event. While he swears to me it happened, I, of course, told him he must be wrong for you would certainly never react physically towards a student. I will be arriving at Hogwarts within two days to straighten out this inherent miscommunication. _

_Your old friend,_

_L.Malfoy_

Severus shook his head with a disgusted sigh, knowing this was inevitable, but still wishing like hell it didn't have to happen. Involving Lucius in anything meant trouble and caused him to be extremely suspicious of what else was going on, making him think maybe he ought to do a few secret preparations.


	8. Discovered Secrets

_Okay…the next couple chapters you might not like necessarily…but we're headed towards good things…I promise…_

* * *

"Hermione, I want you to watch yourself the next few days, especially with holiday break coming up," Severus told her as they lounged on his couch naked in front of the fire. He was leaning back against the arm, one leg extended on the couch while the other was bent, foot on the floor, Hermione learning back against his bare chest, her head resting on his shoulder. "Lucius will be on the grounds tomorrow and I never trust when he's here."

"What would he do to _me_?" she asked, not understanding his concern, but enjoying reclining against him as she was, lightly caressing his hand that rested on her stomach, surprised at how comfortable she was with him like this. Lucius shouldn't have any issue with her as she was the one her son was forcing himself on, unless he was arrogant enough to think she _should_ have let him have his way.

"I've known Lucius a long time, my dear," Severus said with a reluctant tone. "His presence is not usually a social call I'm afraid, and without knowing what lies Mr. Malfoy has filled his head with, I put nothing past them. Just be careful." He wished he could hide her away under his own protection, knowing nothing would happen to her, but couldn't. Instead, he had settled for placing a silent protection spell over her earlier in the evening that she was unaware of, just to be on the safe side. He didn't know the last time he'd been genuinely concerned for someone's welfare in this way, as caring for students was his duty as a teacher, but this was entirely different.

"Are you worried about me?" Hermione asked, playfulness in her voice, leaning her arm on his thigh and turning slightly to look at him with raised eyebrows.

He touched her cheek with the back of his fingers, amazed at the softness of her skin, knowing she was teasing him but realizing the situation was much too serious for joking. "Lucius can hurt you," he said, hating to. "And yes I will worry about you."

Hermione saw the expression on his face and knew his words were true, as much as she wanted them not to be. "He can hurt you too," she said, playfulness cast aside. "I've been worried since Draco ran off down the hall."

He smirked, gently pressing his lips to hers and wrapping both his arms around her as she turned back around, resting her head on his shoulder again. "While I in no way underestimate your ability to take care of yourself," he prefaced. "I am equipped with more knowledge of spells and such than you. I will be fine."

Hermione had wanted to tell Severus that Ginny knew about them but never found the right moment, hoping this would be a good time. "Um…I have something to tell you," she said quietly.

Leaning his head against her soft brown locks, he asked, "What is it?"

"Well, that night…when we…you know…" she trailed off.

"Had sex," he interrupted. "Just say it."

She smiled and bit her lip. _Damn him. _"When we _had sex_ the other night," she said, barely moving her elbow back against his stomach, happy when he jumped. "We were sort of…discovered."

"Discovered?" he repeated, tone slightly different. "By who?"

"Ginny," she answered, hearing his sigh, understanding as it was how she'd reacted too.

"Great," he said unenthused.

"It's okay," Hermione told him. "She's really a good friend and was concerned about me. You have to admit I've not been myself this year. She took it upon herself to use the Marauder's Map to see where I was."

"Potter still uses that map?" Severus asked, fighting not to allow the professor within him to take over.

"Not really," she answered. "Only for emergencies. And she thought there might have been one."

"I see," he said, trying to reason that if he could be concerned for her, why shouldn't her friend be who has obviously been closer to her for a longer time period than he had been? "I'm assuming you trust she will keep her discovery to herself."

"Completely," Hermione assured him. "I just thought you needed to know that she knew since she's in your class too."

"It's appreciated," he said sincerely as he allowed his fingertips to lightly slide up between her breasts, continuing up to her neck before working their way back down her body, flat palms barely touching instantly hard nipples, hearing her inhaling deeply. "How about we talk about more…_pleasant_ topics?" he whispered, his tongue grazing the outside of her ear.

After a small moan, Hermione asked, "How about instead of talking about them, we just do them?" She turned around as he brought his other leg up onto the couch, straddling him and lowering her body to his. "What do you think, _Professor?_"

"Why _Miss Granger_," he teased, raising one eyebrow. "You realize you're propositioning a _teacher_?"

"Oh I'm not just propositioning," she said, leaning down and nipping at his neck as he groaned quietly. "I'm promising."

"I always knew I liked brainy Gryffindors for some reason," he quipped before their lips met in a passionate kiss.

* * *

"Do you remember the spell I taught you?"

"Yes Father."

"And do you have the note?"

"Yes."

"Then let's go."

* * *

Three hours ago he was lying on his couch with a beautiful naked young lady on top of him, taking each other to new heights of pleasure, and now he was dreading like hell the arrival of his _old friend_. How he hated when Lucius called him that and how he hated even more that he couldn't correct him. Lucius was no friend. Dumbledore was his only friend, as odd as it was. _What about Hermione, _his inner voice asked curiously. He paused for a moment. _Yes I suppose she is. I know I can trust her. _

A knock interrupted his thoughts. _Wonderful,_ he thought. _Let's see how quick I can get him out of here. _He quickly walked over to his classroom door and opened it, face expression cold when black met ice blue.

"Severus," Lucius said with a nod. While his long white hair was tied back with black silk, a forest green cloak covered him completely. His eyes were empty of any emotion as they stared at the man before him.

"Lucius," Severus said with a smirk, standing aside for him to enter. "Come in. I believe you wanted to discuss a misunderstanding."

Walking over and making himself comfortable on the plush couch, Lucius smiled. "Yes a misunderstanding," he repeated, patting the cushion next to him. "Please, sit, old friend. Let's talk. How have you been?"

Severus was extremely uncomfortable but fought to remain pleasant, hoping this wouldn't take long, cautiously sitting down, folding his arms across his chest. "Very quiet," he answered. "As you know, not much is going on these days."

One eyebrow rose in understanding. "Very true," Lucius agreed. "Unfortunately." He'd never thought Voldemort would be defeated, especially not by some young boy.

"Shall we discuss the purpose of your visit?" Severus asked, trying to sound pleasant, as if he might really want to have this conversation.

"Indeed," Lucius answered with a sneer. "Please enlighten me as to what really happened with my son."

"He was caught attempting to force himself onto a student," Severus said simply. "I pulled him off of her. Nothing more."

Lucius nodded slowly, expression unchanged. "I see," he said. "You did not throw him?"

"Of course not," Severus answered, as if he should have known better to ask. "I do not need to throw students."

Lucius nodded again. "Who was the girl?" he asked curiously.

Severus knew from the look in his eyes that he already knew the answer. "Granger," he answered, trying to sound disgusted. "The know-it-all friend of Potter."

"Little mudblood," Lucius spat. "She probably asked for it. You should have let him, Severus, so she could enjoy a pureblood for once in her life."

Anger boiled deep inside Severus as he fought to show no reaction. "Maybe," he said. "However, I am a Hogwarts' professor. I will not risk my position for his uncontrollable hormones."

Lucius studied him for a moment. "Perhaps," he said, accusation obvious. "There would certainly be no other reason." His eyebrow raised as if he'd asked a question.

Severus forced his cold eyes to remain locked with his accuser's. "Certainly," he answered, hating the fact Lucius had knowledge of his past, knowing he could share that information with anyone any time he chose.

"I see," Lucius continued. "So Granger is of no particular concern to you?"

Severus looked disgusted. "Old friend," he mimicked, glaring at Lucius. "Do not insult me so."

Lucius almost laughed. "Forgive me," he said. "Let's move onto other topics, shall we?"

* * *

After leaving Severus' chambers, Lucius met Draco at the appointed location, immediately grinning when he saw the lifeless body in his arms. "Any problems?" he asked.

"None," Draco answered.

"Good," Lucius said, performing an invisibility spell over them. "Let's go."

* * *

Hermione's eyes fluttered open, feeling extremely groggy as she looked around, realizing she wasn't in her room. Whose room was she in? The walls were a deep blue hue with cherry furniture to fill the room. The four-poster bed was full of brightly colored pillows while the silk sheets seemed to match the walls. It was quite exquisite as she noticed the paintings and adornments along the walls. She visually searched for a clue as to whose room it was but found none. _How did I get here?_ she thought, sitting up slowly. Her head felt funny as she stood up and slowly walked over to the large window, amazed at how soft the furry white carpet felt under her bare feet, hoping to figure out what part of the castle she was in. _Maybe I'm in Professor McGonagall's chamber, _she thought_. It looks like something she might have_.

When she approached the window and looked out, she gasped, assuming this wasn't Hogwarts at all as she'd never seen anything like this. There was a beautifully manicured garden before her, complete with all colors of the rainbow, and for a moment she assumed it was Severus' family's house she'd heard him mention. Then her eyes focused on a statue that made her blood turn ice cold. A tall snake made of black onyx was coiled, except for his head that was held high and shone brightly with the name "Malfoy" inscribed in the base.

Before she had time to think anything else, the door to her bedroom opened, causing her to squeal in surprise and turn around, shocked to see Draco.

"Good afternoon," he greeted warmly. "Lunch is in an hour. Everything you'll need is here."

"What the hell is going on?" she shrieked, walking over to him. "How did I get here? Why am I here?"

He smiled. "Dear Hermione," he purred. "All in time. You must be hungry. I'll be back in an hour."

Hermione tried the door when he'd closed it behind him, finding it was locked. She called out a few times and banged on the door but finally gave up. She was locked in.

She didn't understand this at all. As she walked through the room and into the adjoining bathroom, she noticed all her things were there. The last thing she remembered was sitting in her favorite corner of the library and falling asleep. How did she get here? And why? What was going on? She remembered Lucius was supposed to meet with Severus and was instantly worried about him. Had anything happened to him? Was he here too?

As she showered and dressed, Hermione fought the fear growing inside her. She had to be here against her will otherwise why would he have locked the door so she couldn't leave? Did anyone else know where she was? She didn't like this at all and Severus' words of "Lucius can hurt you" played over and over in her mind.

An hour later, Draco returned. "Good you're dressed," he said pleased when he saw her sitting quietly on the edge of the bed waiting. "Let's go."

Hermione hesitantly took his arm when he offered it. "Draco," she said as they walked down the hall. "Please tell me what's going on."

"In time, my pet," he said as they slowly descended the black marble staircase.

"Dear Miss Granger," Lucius said when they entered the lavish dining room, filled with two beautiful chandeliers, large oil paintings and dark mahogany wood on both the walls and in the sculptured furniture. "How nice of you to join us."

Draco helped push her chair in before sitting beside her.

"Why am I here?" she asked immediately. Someone had to tell her something.

"Now, now," Lucius said evenly, picking up his silverware. "Time and place for everything." He paused, seeing how she stared at the food before her, not moving. "Eat, my dear. You'll need your strength."

Brown eyes flashed over to him in alarm. "For what?" she asked.

Lucius only smiled.

Hermione ate in uncomfortable silence, hoping she would keep it all down. Once they'd finished, Draco excused himself while Lucius showed her around the immense house and outside in the garden. Hermione was surprised that such evilness could reside in such beauty as she'd never seen anything like it. She instantly understood why Draco had no appreciation for anything as he knew no different. He'd always had the best of the best.

Lucius stopped walking as they neared the back of the garden, beautiful trees towering above them. "I trust your room is adequate," he said, standing close to her, able to catch the scent of her shampoo.

"It's fine," she answered, stepping back from him. "But I'd rather be at Hogwarts." She cautiously watched the man before her that she'd grown to hate over the years. His hair was loose, hanging at his shoulders and gently blowing in the breeze that stirred about them. _If he wasn't so evil_, Hermione thought, _he would almost be handsome_. "Why is it warm here? It's the middle of winter."

Lucius laughed quietly, still stepping closer. "Silly girl," he said, seeing how she was almost against the stone wall he was purposely backing her to. "We're wizards. We can have whatever season we want, whenever we want it. I chose spring as I thought you'd prefer it." He stepped closer, pleased she could go nowhere. "You have no idea what you could have."

Her brows furrowed. "What are you talking about?" she asked impatiently, taking another step back. "Why am I here, Lucius?" She felt the wall behind her and knew she would not be moving any further away. Damn him!

Lucius ignored her questions, reaching to touch her cheek, not surprised when she pulled away, alarm blazing from her eyes that were glaring at him. "Do not take advantage of my hospitality," he warned, placing a hand on either side of her head against the wall and leaning close to her. "You are here because Draco wants you, certainly not because I want you here because I don't. And my son _always_ gets what he wants." He paused, meeting her glare with his own. "Even if it's a little mudblood."

SLAP.

Instantly, Hermione's wrists were pinned behind her back in the firm grip of Lucius' large hand. "Stop," she whined as pain shot through her arm. "You're hurting me." His lock on her wrists wasn't budging. Slapping him hadn't been the best thing to do, she realized in hindsight, but couldn't stop herself when she'd heard _that_ word come from his mouth

"That must be what it is," Lucius hissed, enjoying the fact she was in pain. "That Gryffindor feistiness. It's always been his weakness."

"Draco has been with girls in all the houses," Hermione told him, wincing from his grip.

Lucius chuckled and leaned in closer to Hermione's face that was white with fear. "My dear," he purred. "I'm not talking about my son. I'm talking about your _professor._"

Hermione's heart raced. Did he know? How could he know? Severus hadn't told him had he? What happened during their visit? "What are you talking about?" she asked, trying not to look at him.

Lucius released the grip on her wrists, placing his hand on the back of her neck instead, firmly leading her as they began the walk to the house, ignoring her question. "You will return to your room and get ready for bed," he told her.

"Why?" she asked, wishing his grip was not so harsh. "We just had lunch."

They continued up stone steps into the house. "As I said," Lucius reminded her. "You are here because Draco wants you. Certainly you know what it is he wants, my dear."

She glared at him again. "What?" she shrieked. "I'm here so we can have sex?" She didn't need to be held hostage for that. "You're kidding me!" They were crazy! How utterly ridiculous!

"I suggest you head upstairs," Lucius said with a sneer. "I'm sure Draco will be joining you soon."

Hermione wanted to run and scream but knew there was no point. She wasn't stupid, understanding that this was going to happen one way or another and her willingness would make things much easier on her. As she ascended the steps back to her room, she worried about Severus. What had happened during their talk? Did Lucius perform some spell on him to find out about them? Certainly Severus wouldn't have just told him? No, she knew he wouldn't do that. Had he hurt him? Was he somewhere hidden in this house? The questions wouldn't stop.

She was here as Draco's little toy. He'd been pissed when he didn't get his way and went running to daddy and here she was. Fine. She'd had sex with him before and would again. Big deal. Maybe after a night or two, he'd get bored and she could get back to Hogwarts. Everyone knew she wasn't supposed to leave for holiday so she would be missed. They couldn't keep her here long before someone would be searching for her.

* * *

A couple hours later, Draco entered her bedroom, huge smile on his face. "Didn't I tell you I always get what I want?" he asked, crawling into bed with her. "Now you have no choice and no one to rescue you."

Hermione had decided to play along with him, figuring it was the best thing for her to do. Draco she could handle; it was Lucius that frightened her. "Who said I needed rescuing?" she teased. "And what took you so long to get up here anyway?"

Draco looked slightly surprised, not expecting to hear those comments from her. "So you want me as much as I want you," he said, covering her body with his. "That's a very good thing."

"Of course," she told him, pulling his lips to hers in a gentle kiss. "Has there ever been any doubt?"

"Maybe a little," he said, enjoying the softness of her lips. "But not now. You're mine and I'm yours. We can fix the other problem."

"What problem?" she asked curiously.

"Nothing," he muttered, realizing now was not the time to tell her, his mouth joining with her, tongue slipping into the wetness, swirling in circles of passion. His hands crawled over her body, quickly removing her bedclothes as well as his own, reveling in the warmth of their naked flesh. He easily slipped inside her, not wanting to wait for anything, pulsing his hips and listening to her moans until she pushed against his chest.

"Draco," she whispered. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

"What?" he asked, groaning as he pushed into her core that enveloped him completely.

"A protection spell?" she reminded him.

He shook his head. "Don't need to do that," he answered, lying to her. "Father put a spell on me to take care of it."

Hermione didn't care to question him, able to believe he was both lying and telling the truth at the same time. "Why should I trust you?" she asked, biting her bottom lip as he thrust into her.

"You don't have a choice," he whispered, crashing his lips to hers, taking her body as his own.

* * *

Severus was confused. "What do you mean she left a note?" he asked Dumbledore. "She didn't tell me she was going anywhere for holiday."

Albus saw something in Severus he'd never seen; genuine concern for someone. He thought it was wonderful and decided not to ask any more questions than necessary. "What did she tell you?" he asked.

"Nothing!" he exclaimed. "She was staying here as far as I knew." He shook his head. "Albus, she's been taken."

"Now, Severus," Albus said calmly. "We must not jump to conclusions."

"Yes we should!" Severus said, anger flashing from his eyes. "Lucius was here."

Albus nodded slowly. "I see," he said simply, knowing not to ask the purpose.

"I don't trust him," Severus said. "Something is wrong, Albus."

He understood the younger man's concern but could not go barging in at the Malfoy mansion with a handwritten note from Hermione saying she would be gone. "The note says she will be gone this week, correct?" Albus asked.

"Yes," Severus answered impatiently.

"We can do nothing until then," Albus said quietly. "You understand why, of course."

Severus sighed. "Yes I do," he answered. "But Albus…"

The elder man held up his hand. "My hands are tied," he said, feeling his own concern for Hermione's safety. "However, you could always visit Lucius couldn't you?"

Severus noticed the twinkle in his eyes. He smirked slightly and answered, "Yes I suppose I could."

* * *

It was midnight. Hermione listened to the quiet chimes as she lay in bed, thankful this night was over, hoping there wouldn't be too many more. Draco had been a little rougher than he had been previously but not too bad. She hated to admit she actually liked him more like that. And they'd done it twice, one right after the other, which was unusual. She'd been relieved when he left for his own room, leaving her alone. She'd quickly showered, feeling much better when she crawled back into bed.

She found herself remembering a comment Lucius had made while they were in the garden. "You have no idea what you could have", he'd told her. What the hell did he mean? What could she have where? And when? And with who? She was confused and still worried about Severus, hoping he was all right. She knew she was stuck where she was until they saw fit to return her to Hogwarts. Any attempt on her part to do otherwise would probably be ill received and she wasn't ready to experience their anger.

Hermione heard the bedroom door open and turned over in bed. "Draco, really," she said with a sigh, only able to see the shadowy form. "Wasn't twice enough?"

The form approached her bed and sat down on the edge. "My my, we were busy, weren't we?" the form asked her.

Hermione jumped away and clutched the sheet to her body. "What are you doing in here?" she shrieked. "Get out of here!"

"Now is that any way to talk to your host?" Lucius purred, voice soft in the darkness. "I am being gracious enough to allow a…well…you know…to stay in my house. You should be more…thankful."

"What do you want?" she asked through clenched teeth, noticing the glow of his hair from the moonlight coming in through the window.

Sliding closer to her, Lucius answered, "You say it so negative, like what I'd want would be bad." He sat next to her, facing her, and tore the sheet from her hands, throwing it to the foot of the bed, his eyes crawling over what little he could see. "You might actually enjoy it. Purebloods nearly invented sensuality, you know. I can show you things he never could." His hand touched the top of her thigh and slid down slightly until his grip on her leg tightened.

Hermione's heart was pounding in her chest, praying this wouldn't happen. "I'm s-sure you've t-taught Draco well," she stammered, wanting to run away from him but knowing it was the worst thing for her to do.

Pulling her by her leg hard enough to slide her down towards him, happy when she squealed in surprise, Lucius told her again, "I wasn't talking about my son." He leaned down towards her face, able to see her brown eyes wide in alarm staring at him. "I'm referring to Severus, my dear." Truth be known, that's why he wanted her. He had no intention of ever sharing a bed with a mudblood but curiosity got the better of him. It always had.

Hermione didn't know what to say as she was caught off guard by his presence in her room, on her bed, and his comments about Severus sent her mind reeling. She was nearly panting in fear as her chest rose and fell quickly, wishing her heart would stop pounding as it was beginning to hurt. He was in control of the situation and she knew it. Whatever he wanted, he would have and there was nothing she could do about it. If she tried to fight him, she knew it would make things worse for her. She couldn't believe this was happening. "Please don't hurt me," she whispered, giving in to what she had no choice of anyway, fighting the lump that was forming in her throat. _Don't you dare cry in front of him_, she told herself. _Don't allow him the pleasure._

"Miss Granger," Lucius purred, leaning down, licking his lips. "I don't intend to hurt you." His lips barely grazed against hers. "Unless you want me to."

* * *

Severus made arrangements as quickly as he could, afraid for Hermione's safety. He didn't trust Draco and certainly not Lucius, assuming they had planned this. She would have told him if she was leaving. He knew it. As he paced through his chamber, he stopped for a moment. He was _worried _about her, very worried. He couldn't remember ever feeling like this towards another and realized he _felt_ for her.

"I care about her," he said out loud. "When did this happen?"

_No time to figure it out now_, he thought, returning to his preparation. _I have to find her. If anything happens to her..._

He wouldn't allow himself those thoughts.

* * *

Hermione allowed her pent up tears freedom when the door closed behind Lucius. He didn't hurt her and he hadn't been rough with her. He'd actually been gentle and kind and sensual…like he'd said. In a different time or circumstance, she probably would have enjoyed herself. But given that she'd been kidnapped from Hogwarts, held captive as a toy for his son and genuinely scared of Lucius because of his past, she could find no enjoyment in his visit. Her body had responded to his touches and caresses but her mind was empty, instead fighting to picture Severus instead and erase the vision of Lucius.

As she wiped tears from her wet face, Hermione realized just how much she missed him. She would have given anything at that moment to see him, to touch him, to know he was okay. Worry wouldn't leave her. If they'd taken her, what had they done to him? Lucius somehow knew about them so he certainly would use it against Severus wouldn't he?

"Severus," she cried. "Please find me."


	9. Dread & Relief

Severus seriously considered apparating inside the Malfoy mansion, as that is what his concern and anger were demanding, but quickly decided that would be extremely unwise. Instead he chose a location outside the property and would walk the rest of the way, using the excuse of Albus sending him to look for her there since an odd note was found, telling of her departure, when she hadn't said she was going anywhere, and because of her recent involvement with Draco. He was sure that Lucius would lie, thankful once again he knew Occlumency, because he would go back to Albus and take things from there. The note said she would be gone eight days but Severus was determined to get her back as soon as possible.

She consumed his every waking thought, being the first thing he thought of when he woke in the morning and the last thing he thought of when he went to sleep, if he could call it that. Nightmares filled his nights, visions of Hermione hurt and crying and him unable to help her. He tried brewing a sleeping potion but it did little to help. He wanted her back at Hogwarts where she would be safe, where she belonged and where he could be with her. He didn't understand what had happened to him over the past few months but had stopped questioning himself.

* * *

"Good morning," Draco greeted sarcastically as he entered Hermione's room with no knock. "I trust you slept well."

Hermione had been laying in bed the past couple of hours, not wanting to move. What was the point anyway when she couldn't leave the room? She was angry and repulsed and caught like a rat in a trap.

Draco sat down on the edge of the bed. "Are you not talking to me?" he asked curiously.

Hermione glared at him. "Your father visited me after you left last night," she spat in disgust. "Forgive me for not jumping for joy."

Draco laughed, amused at her dislike of the situation. "I thought he might," he said casually, completely unaffected. "Can't blame him really."  
Sitting up, Hermione fought to control herself. "Draco!" she exclaimed. "He's your father! That's…it's…just wrong!"

Standing up, Draco said, "Hermione, he's the same age as Snape. What's the difference?" He didn't understand why she kept trying to pretend they weren't having an affair. The truth serum he and his father had given her when they first arrived back at the mansion worked very well as they'd both been unable to believe what they were hearing from her.

She rolled her eyes. "The difference is he had sex with me when I was already involved with his son!" If this was how 'purebloods' acted within their own family, she would remain very thankful she had muggle born parents.

Draco placed his hands on the mattress and leaned close to her. "No the only difference is Snape has no son," he corrected, quickly losing his temper. "Did you really think you two could keep your disgusting little affair a secret?" How disgraceful for a teacher and student to have relations!

"I don't know what you're going on about," Hermione said defiantly. "You are the only one I've been with."

"You're lying!" Draco exclaimed with a fierceness that he had held in longer than he could manage. "Father and I gave you a truth serum! We know everything! Including the abortion!"

Nausea lurched deep in her stomach, sure he was telling the truth, otherwise how would he have known about the abortion?

"You filthy little mudblood!" Draco continued, crawling onto the bed with Hermione who was retreating from him. "How dare you kill my heir? How dare you keep the fact you got pregnant from me? Who do you think you are?"

Hermione had never been scared of Draco until now. His angry blue eyes looked just like his father's. "We're kids," she told him, fighting tears again, curling up in a ball, unsure of what he might do. "What did you expect me to do? Keep it?"

He smirked, anger seemingly leaving him. "You will this time," he sneered. "One way or another."

Eyes wide in alarm, Hermione gasped in horror. "This time?" she shrieked. "What the bloody hell do you mean?"

"You will be pregnant by the time you return to Hogwarts," he said through his teeth. "And this one you will keep."

As he left her bed and headed for the door, Hermione called out, "I will not have your child!"

He paused at the door and turned around with an evil smile displayed. "Oh you will," he confirmed. "Or your affair will be front page news and your precious Snape will be in Azkaban where he belongs with all the other deserters."

When he slammed the door behind him, Hermione fell back to the bed and cried until her throat was raw and pillow was wet with tears.

How did this happen? All she wanted to do was get this 'first time' bit behind her, thinking Draco would be the wise choice. But she hadn't planned on getting pregnant. Hadn't planned on ending up in Severus' care, much less in his bed. And now Lucius and Draco knew the truth and could use it to manipulate her as they were doing. Severus would hate her when he found out, especially if she ended up in trouble, again. This had gotten way out of hand.

And the fact Draco was now _trying_ to get her pregnant? Certainly he cared nothing about having a child with her, as she was not pureblood. His motivation could only be out of pure hate for her. What would he do? How could he force her to have it? Would she remain a prisoner forever?

Hermione woke hours later, hardly able to believe she'd slept all day as darkness shaded her window. She was physically and emotionally exhausted, scared of what would happen next. _Severus, please_, she thought again.

After a soothing hot shower, Hermione stood by the window, gazing out across the garden, glowing in the moonlight. Would she see Hogwarts again? They couldn't keep her here indefinitely – too many people would be looking for her. Wouldn't they?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the door opening and Draco walking in. "Ready for me, my dear?" he asked with a sneer.

Hermione remained where she was, wishing she could run but knowing she could go nowhere. "What do you think?" she asked in dripping sarcasm.

Quickly approaching her, Draco answered with a smile, "I think you have no choice and are now subject to me and my father."

Afterwards, Hermione found herself in the shower again, wishing she could wash away her memories too. Her thighs ached, as Draco had not been kind, not that she'd expected him to be. _Maybe I can have my memory erased when I return to Hogwarts_, she thought. _Maybe I can convince Severus to erase my mind and tell me later that the baby is his. That would be good._

As she crawled into bed, still wrapped in her towel, she hoped that would be all for tonight, that Lucius visiting her last night was a one-time thing. The fact they were basically sharing her made her stomach turn. She was forced to remember she was not in the home of good wizards. Sadness swept over her as tears flowed again.

Lucius crept into the bedroom quietly, hoping Hermione would be asleep. He slowly walked to the bed, pleased to see she was already naked, and gently moved her limbs, securing them to each bedpost with a silent securing spell. Then he lifted up his robe as he crawled onto the bed.

Hermione's eyes opened in time to see Lucius above her. Frantically trying to move, at first thinking she was having a nightmare but knowing it was real, she noticed he had her secured to the bed somehow.

"Stop it!" she yelled, trying to move with no avail. "Get off of me!"

Lucius only chuckled as she pushed into her roughly, allowing his usual restrained passion to be unleashed, completely oblivious to her silent cries and wet face. She deserved it as far as he was concerned, slamming into her over and over. Deserved it for being muggle born and a student at Hogwarts. Deserved it for being friends with Potter and Weasley and part responsible in killing Voldemort. Deserved it for killing his grandchild. Deserved it for having an affair with Snape.

Satisfied groans filled the room, Lucius allowing himself a delicious freedom, spilling inside her, almost wishing it could be him to impregnate her. He found guilty pleasure in picturing her screaming in pain as she borne him a child. But since it needed to be Draco, Lucius had placed an enhancement spell on him that should have taken care of it.

He climbed off the bed, saying the spell to release her arms and ankles. "That was wonderful, my dear," he purred. "Thank you ever so much."

When the door closed behind him, Hermione lay in bed, curled up in a ball, sobbing, thighs trembling, core burning in pain. What had she ever done to deserve this?

* * *

Severus shook off the uneasy feeling that overwhelmed him as he walked up to the door. It had been years since he'd been here and hoped it would be just as many more till he was here again. The beauty outside could never conceal the inner evil.

The door opened to reveal a smirking Lucius. "My my," he said, eyes wide feigning surprise. "Please do come in and tell me to what honor I owe your visit?"

Stepping in, the door closed behind Severus. "I'm here on important business for Albus," he tried to say with as much disdain as he could muster. "I told him I had better things to do but you know how foolish he can be when a notion strikes his old brain."

"Indeed I do," Lucius agreed. "Shall we move to the sitting room?"

"No, I really must be heading back soon." He paused. "Albus is rather concerned with a note he found from that insufferable Granger," he began. "He seems to think it odd that she told no one she was leaving and then is gone. He has sent me all about to find out if anyone knows anything, hence my appearance here."

"Why not ask her friends?" Lucius asked curiously. "Why would we know anything about Granger and her whims during holiday?"

"Her involvement with Draco," Severus answered wearily. "You understand."

Lucius nodded, wondering what that old fool back at Hogwarts really knew. "I see," he said. "Well let's ask him then." He snapped his fingers and a house elf apparated. "Get Draco," he barked. With a pop, the house elf disapparated. How he longed to mention his knowledge of the affair with the brainy student but would wait for the appropriate moment and use it to his full advantage.

Draco appeared, visibly annoyed when he saw his professor standing in the entrance hall. "Going to attack me again?" he snipped.

"Now Draco," Lucius began. "That's no way to greet your professor. He's here on urgent business from the Headmaster. It seems Granger is missing and is curious if you know anything about it."

Draco laughed. "I don't care where she is," he sneered. "Last time I saw her was at Hogwarts. She said nothing to me."

"Thank you," Lucius said, dismissing his son. "Sorry, Severus, but you certainly didn't think we knew anything."

Severus was quite satisfied with their answers, knowing they were both lying and that Hermione was there. It took every ounce of strength he had not to curse both of them and search the house for her. Anger boiled within him though. _If they've hurt her_, he thought. _They'll wish I killed them when I finish with them_.

"I will tell Albus," Severus said. "I told him you would not know."

"Don't be a stranger," Lucius called out sweetly as Severus headed for the door.

Severus turned to face Lucius and caught an image from the man's mind of Hermione and him in a passionate embrace. An uneasiness rose within Severus. Lucius knew? Was that what he was picking up on?

"Till next time," Severus said with a nod, quickly turning and leaving the mansion.

Severus hurried back to the spot outside the grounds so he could apparate back to his location outside of Hogwarts. He had to tell Albus she was there but was undecided about how to handle Lucius' knowledge of him and Hermione. If Lucius knew, that meant Draco did too and one knowing was as bad as the other. How did they find out? He knew she would never tell which meant they forced it from her. He was beginning to hate them more than he ever hated Voldemort and he didn't think that was possible.

The elderly man with the long white beard was waiting at the gate when Severus entered the grounds.

"They have her," he told Albus as they walked quickly to the castle. "They both lied."

"I see," Albus said. "I was afraid that's what you'd say."

Severus stopped and faced him. "I'm afraid there's another problem," he said, knowing he needed to tell him as much as he hated to. "It's about me and Miss Granger."

* * *

On the third day, Hermione didn't bother to leave the room. She was upset and depressed, more than she'd been the first time she was pregnant, fairly certain she was again. This time she was caught though and Severus wouldn't be able to help her. She saw no way out for either of them. What would happen to her and the child? She wasn't pureblood so why would they even acknowledge the child? Maybe they wouldn't. Maybe they were forcing her to do this out of nothing but hatred. She spent hours crying, her mind trying to come up with anything she thought might work, but succeeded in finding only more tears.

She'd lost count of how many times both Draco and Lucius had been with her. She'd never felt more used in her life, wanting to do nothing but hide in a hole in the ground. She'd never put much into sex as other girls did but was beginning to feel…well…dirty. She didn't like not having control over her actions and having them force themselves on her whenever they chose to do so.

Neither Draco nor Lucius had hit her, which she was thankful for. She was quite certain things could be much, much worse even though they had been cold, callous and very aggressive, causing her physical soreness. She didn't say anything to them during their visits, allowing them do whatever they were going to do, praying it would be over sooner rather than later. How many more days would she have to endure this?

* * *

"Severus, we had a talk about this a couple years ago," Albus said gently after listening to the 'new' problem.

The professor sat quietly for a moment. "This is different," he said, hating to have this conversation. Since this was completely foreign territory to him, he was most uncomfortable. But he couldn't risk anything happening to Hermione so if that meant swallowing his pride in telling Dumbledore, that's what he would do.

Eyes twinkling, Albus asked, "How so?"

Severus bit his lip, a trait of nervousness that looked rather odd for him. He would usually never tell anyone such private thoughts but knew he was safe with the elderly man. "I care for her," he answered quietly. While to most, his statement sounded nothing out of the ordinary, he knew that Dumbledore would recognize what a huge admission it truly was.

"You care about all your students," Albus said purposely.

"Not quite," he said, rolling his eyes. "I deal with them within my responsibility." He paused, allowing his scorn to pass. "I truly care about her. It was completely unexpected as I am aware of the repercussions that could come from this. But I can't deny it."

Albus nodded. "I see," he said simply, secretly happy that someone had accomplished what he had thought to be impossible. "Well, we must get her back to Hogwarts as soon as possible. I fear for her safety."

* * *

Thursday morning found Hermione waking from a nightmare. Her mind was replaying the events of the past couple nights, except the difference was Severus was being tortured by Lucius while Draco had his way with her. She quickly left the bed and headed for the shower for what seemed like the hundredth time.

As she sat by the window, Draco entered. "Let's go," he said. "Time for you to go back. We're finished with you…for now."

Hermione felt a flutter of hope. "I get to leave?" she asked.

"Yes," Draco answered. "Get dressed and meet us downstairs before we change our minds."

Hermione felt like a different person when she entered Hogwarts. She was distant and felt only emptiness, thankful she had another week before the students returned from holiday. Before Lucius left her, he'd made sure to be very clear what would happen if she said anything to anyone and warned her Draco would be keeping an eye on her. He had patted her stomach and told her to be careful before leaving her.

As she walked slowly back to her dormitory, Hermione wondered if life could get any worse. The two worst ones to know had found out about her and Severus. They'd kidnapped her, performed a truth spell on her and then had sex with her numerous times to make sure to impregnate her. She could have done the spell to determine if she was indeed pregnant but honestly didn't want to know. It didn't matter anyway. There was nothing she could do this time.

She had hoped climbing back into her bed would provide a little comfort but it did not. Thankfully sleep soon claimed her.

* * *

Hermione awoke to Professor McGonagall gently shaking her. "Miss Granger," she was saying. "The Headmaster needs to see you."

She slowly sat up and stretched. "Okay," she mumbled, standing up and heading for the bathroom.

Thirty minutes later, Hermione was knocking on Dumbledore's door. "Enter," she heard him call out.

"You wanted to see me," Hermione said, closing the heavy door behind her.

"Sit, my dear," he said, warmth emanating from him. "Please tell me. How are you?"

Instantly a lump was in her throat, tears slowly filling her eyes, knowing he knew where she'd been. "I'm scared," she said quietly, unable to keep the brave front up with him.

Albus smiled. "It's okay," he soothed. "Did Lucius and Draco hurt you? Put spells on you or anything?"

"They didn't hit me," she answered. "They gave me a truth serum though."

"I see," he said understanding. "Did they threaten you with anything?"

"Yes," she answered, wanting to elaborate but not knowing exactly what to say.

"Have you seen Professor Snape yet?" he asked, changing the subject.

That question surprised her. "Um…no," she answered.

"I think maybe you should," he said with a gentle smile. "He's been very worried."

Hermione stared blankly at him before leaving his office. Did he know about them too? She really shouldn't be surprised as he usually knew everything anyway.

What would she say to Severus? How could she tell him? What would he say? What would he do? She thought of going back to her dormitory instead but knew Albus would know. She couldn't ignore his request.

She knocked on the classroom door and tried to ignore her pounding heart. It was a minute or so before the door opened.

Severus couldn't believe it. "Hermione!" he exclaimed, eyes wide, pulling her inside. "What happened?"

She wasn't sure what did it, but being back with him, hearing and seeing the genuine concern for her, caused her to instantly break down sobbing, not able to tell him anything. Immediately she was in a protective embrace, her hands pressed against his chest as they covered her face, one of his arms encircling her body while the other hand was gently cradling her head.

"I'm so sorry," he said quietly. "I wish I could have done something." He felt horrible, almost sick, as he held her, having no idea what she'd been through but sure it wasn't pleasant.

Hermione allowed the anguish and relief wash over her like a flood, riding the swells willingly. In hindsight, fear controlled her, realizing just how terrible things could have been. She was more than thankful to be in Severus' arms again, being held close and finally feeling safe.

He'd kill them. He'd absolutely kill them and happily go to Azkaban for it, just to know they could never hurt her again. Noticing her crying was slowing, he pulled from her, keeping an arm around her shoulders and leading her to the couch. He said a couple spells and soon a damp washcloth flew from the bathroom into his hand. He handed it to her in silence so she could wipe her tear stained face.

"Thank you," she whispered, holding the warm cloth to her face for a moment. She inhaled deeply, hoping to calm herself.

"Hermione," he finally said. "If you don't want to discuss this now, I'd understand."

Placing the cloth on the table in front of them, Hermione said, "It's okay. Waiting to tell you won't change any of it."

Severus allowed a slight smirk at her statement, thankful her countenance was opposite of most females. "True," he agreed.

Hermione took another deep breath, resting back against the couch while he sat up, facing her, intently listening. "I was there three nights," she began. "One minute I'm falling asleep in the library and the next I'm waking up in one of their bedrooms. At first I thought it was a room here somewhere that I hadn't seen before or maybe your house that you've mentioned. Draco and Lucius were sort of nice the first day but it didn't last long. The only time I ate was when I first got there."

"Are you hungry?" Severus asked, mentally chastising himself for not thinking of it earlier. "I could…"

"Later," she told him with small smile. "I found out I was there basically for Draco. But the first night after he left my room, Lucius came in."

"Tell me he didn't," Severus said disgusted.

Hermione hesitated, wishing all of it had never happened, but knowing they were faced with an ugly truth. "Yes," she answered quietly. "More than once."

His elbows were resting on his knees as he covered his face with his hands. Anger churned deep within him but forced himself to remain calm for her, at least as calm as he could be. He'd already known of Draco but now Lucius? It was disturbing and almost more than he could stand.

"Did they hurt you?" he asked, massaging his head. "Did they strike you?"

"No they didn't hit me," she answered. "They were just very…rough with me."

Severus stood up. "Bastards," he hissed. "I'll kill them!" He quickly fetched a glass and the bottle of firewhiskey.

Hermione watched in silence as he poured the liquid, swallowing it quickly, then pouring another. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

He turned, remembering she was still on his couch. He'd become lost for a few moments in his thoughts of what he could do to them. He sat back on the couch beside her. "You have nothing to be sorry for," he told her. "This was not your fault."

She wasn't so sure that this wasn't partially her fault, as it was her idea to have Draco be her first which is what started all the mess they were now in. "I'm…uh…probably pregnant…again," she said quietly, hating to tell him but knowing she had no choice.

Severus' eyes grew wide. "I knew that protection spell was a wise decision," he said. "You're not pregnant. You can't be."

"But they didn't do any protection spells," she said. "Draco was determined to…"

"I placed a spell over you," he explained. "I told you I didn't trust Lucius' visit. You are not pregnant." He reached for his wand and said, "Lumos natalimate." Blue swirled above her stomach but never turned yellow. "It wasn't just for this but worked out well nonetheless."

"Oh my god," she gasped, relieved once again, having been quite sure she was. "I thought that I was trapped…"

"Trapped?" he asked curiously. "Why would you be trapped?"

The smile on her face slowly disappeared, remembering what she hadn't told him yet. "Um…well…they know about…us," she said, unsure of what word to use to describe them.

Severus nodded. "I was afraid of that," he said. "Used a truth serum, no doubt. How much to they know?"

"Back to the abortion," she answered. "That's why Draco was trying to get me pregnant again, threatening if I said anything or tried another abortion, they'd tell and send you to Azkaban."

Severus stared at her for a minute, slowly understanding what she was saying. "You were going to keep his child if you'd been pregnant?" he asked. "To keep them quiet?"

"Of course," she answered as if he should have known. "We can't risk the trouble they would cause."

"But you would do that for me?" he asked in disbelief. He'd never known anyone other than Albus who would do anything to protect him.

"Yes," she said gently. "Shouldn't I?"

"It's just…no one but…I don't know if…" he stammered, for once at a loss for words.

Hermione took his hands in hers. "I'm not that selfish," she told him. "Do you think I don't give a damn about you? Do you think I would just think of myself and let them haul you away?"

Severus was uncomfortable and didn't know what to say. Instead of words, he chose to gently touch her lips with his.

"Dumbledore knows, doesn't he?" she asked as they remained close.

He nodded. "I had to tell him," he said. "I was…worried about you."

"I…uh…wondered if you would be," she said quietly.

He understood her statement. "Well I was a bit surprised myself," he said with a smirk. "But it didn't change the facts." He touched her face. "I'm relieved you're back."

She smiled and leaned into his touch. "Me too," she agreed.

"I have to ask," Severus began. "Did you make any attempt to fight or escape?" He couldn't imagine the feisty Gryffindor not attempting some escape.

Shaking her head, Hermione answered, "I knew better. They weren't attacking me physically and didn't want them to start. God knows how many charms and spells are in that house. I was more afraid of hurting myself than sex with them, quite honestly."

Severus nodded in understanding. "Brainy Gryffindor," he said with affection. "Smart thing to do."

They were quiet for a moment before Hermione said, "Draco will be watching us closely."

"Albus and I will take care of the Malfoys," Severus told her. "Don't think on it. Do you want any sleeping potion? Have you had nightmares?"

"A couple when I was there," she answered, looking up into the darkness of his eyes that held a caring gaze towards her. "I'm okay now." She didn't want to leave his side, wishing she could remain in his chamber for the rest of the year but knowing it wasn't possible. But maybe…."Do you think…I mean if you don't want me to…but with most of the students gone…I thought…" What was she saying?

"Hermione," he said slightly amused. "You're rambling."

She sighed. "I was wondering…if I could stay…with you," she said quietly. "The common room is basically empty. I wouldn't be missed. I've already been gone four days as it is."

She had a point. The few that remained thought she had decided to visit her family as that's what the note said that Draco had left. "Has anyone seen you?" he asked.

"No," she answered. "Just Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore."

Severus pulled her close again, hugging her body to his as they settled against the couch. "Then I think it would be perfectly fine for you to remain here a few days," he said, surprised at how easily those words flowed. But after she had been gone, he honestly couldn't imagine having her anywhere but beside him.

"Hermione…I…"

She waited but he didn't finish. "What?"

_What are you doing…what were you going to say…tell me it wasn't what I thought_, the inner voice said that had been quiet for quite awhile. _You certainly do not. You cannot go there. Don't be ridiculous. _"I was going to say we should get something to eat," he lied. "You need nourishment."


	10. Dungeon Ecstasy

_You'll like me for this chapter...well hopefully...LOL...as always THANK YOU for your reviews...they mean the world to me!_

* * *

"Severus, this may sound crazy," Hermione said after dining in the almost empty Great Hall. "But can we go for a walk?" 

"It's snowing outside," he told her. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," she answered with a small smile. "For a few minutes. I just want to be outside, you know?"

"Very well," Severus said, understanding her desire. "Let's go."

* * *

Albus saw two figures in the distance and, as always, curiosity got the better of him, reaching for his glasses that were much like muggle binoculars, enabling him to see great distances. 

As he focused, Albus smiled when he saw Severus and Hermione bundled up and walking very close. Even though he knew if he didn't keep Draco and Lucius quiet there would be big trouble for everyone, he couldn't help but feel happiness for the two, especially Severus, tortured soul that he was. Albus thought he was destined to be alone forever. Maybe, even if brief, he would find the one thing Albus knew he needed most. Love. While some would think that Hermione would be a rather odd choice, Albus knew it was quite fitting. They shared a passion for knowledge that few others could identify with.

As he continued watching, he enjoyed seeing Severus smile at the younger girl. It was such a peaceful look; it made him wish everyone could see the teacher like this, even though he knew that wasn't possible. As he watched, Severus pulled her into his arms in a caring embrace, closing his eyes as they held each other, causing Albus to chuckle with affection.

Severus had already found love, whether he knew it or not, causing Albus to wonder if he would be able to either recognize or admit it.

Taking his glasses off, he decided he'd seen enough. Regardless of what anyone else thought of the pair, he would remain supportive. They'd found happiness. Who were they hurting?

* * *

"I went to their mansion," Severus was telling Hermione as they walked back to the castle, the snowflakes falling heavier, dotting their black cloaks with white flecks. 

"You did?" she asked. "You were there? When?" He _had_ tried to find her! Her stomach seemed to flip over in queasiness that passed as she soon as she felt it, realizing that he had attempted to rescue her.

"Yesterday," he answered. "I told Lucius that Albus sent me because of an odd note from you saying you were leaving when you'd told no one you were leaving for holiday," he explained. "I also said it was because of your involvement with Draco."

"Think they knew you had a suspicion of what happened to me?"

"I don't care what they thought," he told her. "I wanted to find out if they were lying." He paused as they entered the gate, brushing the snow off of them. "All I wanted to do was curse them and search the house for you," he added.

She smiled as they walked. "As wonderful as that would have been," she began. "We both know it wouldn't have been wise. You wouldn't have found me anyway, I'm sure."

"Probably not," he agreed. "Perhaps we should stop by your dormitory to get some of your things since you're going to spend the next few days with me."

"Good idea," she said. "You can go ahead if you need to. I'll be down soon."

"If it's all the same," Severus said. "I'd feel much better accompanying you." _And I really don't want to let you out of my sight_, he thought, choosing not to tell her that.

Hermione smiled again. "Are you being protective of me?" she teased as they climbed the stairs towards the Gryffindor dormitories.

"If I was," he quipped. "Would that be wrong?"

"No," she answered honestly. "I like it."

* * *

Hermione felt a few butterflies in her stomach, as she got ready for bed in Severus' bathroom. She was looking forward to spending a few nights with him but had never stayed with a man before, feeling both excited and nervous at the same time. 

As she brushed her teeth, she had to stifle a giggle, thinking that if someone had told her that during her last year she would be spending holiday with Snape in his private chambers, along with all the other events that had happened so far this year, she would have cursed them and then herself. But as she thought about the time she'd spent with him already, she realized it felt extremely natural. Their sexual involvement was turning into something different, although she wasn't sure exactly what that was just yet. She would enjoy whatever time with him she could, not knowing what the near future held for them.

Severus was already in bed reading and started to put it away when Hermione emerged from the bathroom.

"No, don't," she said, slipping under the black satin covers and sheets with him and immediately snuggling up to him, her arm over his stomach and head resting on the pillow, her cheek leaning against his shoulder.

"It's just a report about the latest antidotes for acid lily poisoning," he told her with little enthusiasm. "I can read it later."

"No," she insisted. "Read it to me. Please?" After the past few nights, sex was the last thing on her mind anyway. She just wanted to 'be' with him, be close to him.

Severus shook his head at her request. _Of all the things to read to her_, he thought. Finding it oddly comfortable with her beside him, he knew better than to question her and began reading.

Ten minutes later, Severus looked down and saw she was asleep. He slowly placed the book on his nightstand, trying not to disturb her, as she appeared to be sleeping soundly. He carefully settled himself until he was lying beside her, head propped up with his hand, elbow pressing into the pillow. He brushed a couple stray brown curls from her cheek and simply watched her.

For years, he'd thought she was a nuisance, even though he always did silently respect her mind. But after finding her collapsed that night and helping her through something so difficult and personal, something slowly began to change. The more time he spent with her, the more time he _wanted_ to spend with her. And when the physical aspect began, that definitely changed things. He'd thought it would only be physical between them but something more was growing. And he didn't mind.

"Could it really be happening?" he whispered. "Could I be feeling this deeply for you?" He couldn't believe how powerful these feelings were. Did he love her? He couldn't remember ever truly loving anyone. There had been someone years ago…but he wouldn't think about that now, hoping this would turn out differently.

* * *

Hermione awoke the next morning, snuggled up comfortably to Severus' chest and instantly smiled. She couldn't remember ever having such a peaceful night's sleep. She stirred slightly, pushing closer against him, comforted by the warmth of their bodies. This was incredibly nice. How would she go back to the dormitory? 

Her stirring had awoken Severus as his hand that had been lifeless over her waist now moved, gliding over the curve of her hip. She looked up at him and saw his eyes were open, barely. "Morning," he said quietly. "You sleep okay?"

"Best sleep I've ever had," she said with a small smile.

He smirked. "It's too early for such enthusiasm," he said, still groggy. "Are you hungry?"

"No," she answered. "Not really. It's nice just being here with you."

His hand moved up to her hair, his fingers sliding through her locks, gently massaging her scalp. "Hermione," he whispered, almost more to himself than to her. "When did this happen?"

Playing with the material of his nightshirt, Hermione saw his eyes were closed. "When did what happen?" she asked quietly.

He opened his eyes and smiled just enough to cause her to smile. "You know I care for you," he said, voice seemingly deeper than usual.

Hermione's stomach felt like it flipped over again. "I had hoped," she said. "I care about you too you know."

"I assumed such," he said, fingertips grazing her cheeks as his hand trailed back down her arm. "And that is what I referring to when I asked when did this happen."

Hermione chuckled softly. "Were you caught unexpected?" she gently teased, raising her hand to brush a dark strand of hair away from his eye.

He took her hand and kissed her fingers before setting their hands in the small space between them. "You could say that," he answered. "There is much you do not know about me."

"I'm sure," she agreed. "But I'd like to know." In fact, most of his past was a mystery to her, but it didn't matter. She knew the kind of person he was and where he loyalties remained and that's all that was important.

Severus was quiet. There was much he longed to share with her but knew it would be better if she didn't know about a certain part of his life. Darkness had a hold on him for many years and he wanted to forget it rather than relive it, knowing there were other aspects of his life he could share with her. "There will be time," he said. "I do not know everything about you either."

"True," she said, hardly able to believe they were having this conversation, realizing she hadn't told him thank you for trying to get her away from Lucius and Draco. "Thanks for helping get me back here, by the way."

He didn't want to think about her with the Malfoys. "I wish I could have stopped it from happening," he told her. "The thought of Lucius and Draco…" He trailed off and rolled over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling.

One arm rested across his chest while she propped her head up with the other. "Please don't think about that," she told him. "It's over and I wasn't really hurt."

He looked at her then and caressed her cheek with the outside of his fingers. "Any other would have been devastated," he pointed out.

"I'm not any other," she said with a smile. "I'm a Gryffindor."

He laughed then and shook his head. "Indeed you are," he said. "But I won't hold it against you."

She gasped and playfully slapped his chest. "Very funny," she said. "Like being a Slytherin is anything to brag about."

He quickly rolled over on top of her, smiling as she giggled. "Are you downing my house, _Miss Granger_?" he teased, more awake now. "I should take points away from you."

She raised an eyebrow. "I'd really rather you do something else, _Professor Snape_," she told him as her hands settled on his lower back, enjoying the strands of hair that were tickling her face and the black eyes gazing down at her.

"And what would that be?" he asked, his lower region stirring as her legs wrapped around the back of his.

"Well," she said quietly. "Instead of taking _points_ from me, why don't you just… take… me?"

"I don't know if the two are interchangeable," he told her with a smirk. "Maybe I should take you _and _the points and then decide later."

"Oh no," she told him, pressing his hips to hers. "You don't get to take both. You'll have to choose."

He smiled at their banter. "I don't get both?" he asked. "Well then I guess I'll take you for now."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Oh thanks for making me feel wanted," she said at his statement.

He touched her lips with his, seriousness returning to his pools of obsidian as he said, "Oh you are most definitely wanted, probably more than you know."

She felt his longing pushing against her as she stared up into his eyes, watching desire dance in them. "So show me," she whispered.

Severus allowed his mind to open to hers, not surprised at the depth of emotion within her, learning she wanted him inside her as much as he wanted to be inside her, choosing not to close his mind as he usually did. He wanted her to feel and experience his passion as well as him experiencing hers, as it took physically intimacy to a level most would never know. To him, it was the highest level of intimacy possible with another person, and there had only been one other he allowed it with.

Hermione didn't want to move and figured he didn't either so she reached down, pulling up both of their nightshirts, allowing their warm flesh to finally touch. He moaned as she moved her legs around his, pushing her hips to his member, needing him inside her and not wanting to wait another minute.

"You're not too…sore?" he whispered, the head gently touching her wet opening, fighting within himself to not plunge into her.

"No," she whispered. "I'm okay Severus."

And he knew she was telling the truth as he slowly slid inside her, groaning as he filled her, her muscles contracting around him, feeling her hands grip his backside. He leaned down and kissed her neck, not sure if her moans were from his nipping or him sliding in and out of her slowly. This time was different between them. He felt it. It wasn't just sex, not to either one of them.

Hermione's head was spinning in passionate intoxication as she held on, whimpering quietly as he pulsed gently. There was a notable tenderness that she'd never experienced with him before and it seemed as if her desire was too much for her to handle. She'd never felt like this with him before but didn't understand what was different. Climax claimed her quickly and when her muscles spasmed around him, he groaned louder and pulsed harder, not able to last any longer himself.

As he gripped her body tightly, pushing the last of his climax into her, knowing this time would be brief because of their shared desire, a thought slipped from his mind into hers before he realized it, before he could stop it.

_I love you, Hermione_.

Holding his trembling body against hers, she heard words inside her mind but didn't think much of it, assuming it was her mind saying what she would have loved to hear him say. _And I love you, Severus_, her mind said in response.

Hearing her words inside his mind, Severus lifted his head to meet her gaze, knowing she didn't know what he had done. He kissed her lips again, soft and gentle, thinking he'd never kissed another the same. Closing his mind, his inner voice was saying, _She loves me…me…Severus. I didn't think anyone could love me. Not again_.But he'd _felt_ it when she thought it and knew it to be truth from the deepest most sincere depth of her being.

Eyes locked, silence surrounded them as their bodies were still joined, neither wanting to pull from their embrace. Instead, Hermione put her arms around his neck as he moved slightly to the side, her body following, his arms wrapping around her and keeping her close.

Her hair tickled his face, as they remained entwined, inhaling the scent of her and him and _them, _and never wanted to move. No moment in his life had ever been as perfect as this one. He clung to her as tightly as she clung to him and he was comforted by it. No woman had ever responded to him as Hermione did, nor had he ever responded to another woman as he did to her.

"Can't we just stay like this?" she whispered, breaking the silence but not moving.

He smiled. "I'm afraid I would not be able to teach without causing quite a commotion," he said dryly, listening as she laughed softly.

"No I guess not," she agreed, pulling from him so their eyes could meet again. "I will tell you now, I will hate going back to the dormitory."

"Then we will have to make the most of our time together," he said, cupping the side of her face, letting his thumb run along her cheekbone. "Why don't we shower and get something to eat? Then maybe we can come back here and do this properly."

"Maybe?"

"Definitely."

"Okay."

After showering together, Hermione settled herself on the couch while Severus dressed and headed towards the Great Hall. He'd thought of summoning a house elf but didn't want it to see her in his chambers so he decided to get food himself.

Twenty minutes later he returned, levitating two trays full of food onto the table in front of the couch. "I tried to bring a little of everything as I wasn't sure what your preferences were," he explained when her eyes widened.

"Thank you," she said, reaching for a sausage and cheese pastry. "I'm famished."

"Do you have schoolwork to finish?" he asked when they'd finished what they could.

"No," she answered.

Severus smiled and shook his head. "I figured as much," he told her, standing up. "I need to finish grading my fourth year's tests. You may join me if you wish."

"I wish," she said, standing up and following him into the classroom.

Ten minutes later, his head was buried, furiously scribbling on each piece of paper after quickly scanning it for errors, while her nose was buried in a book from his private collection as she sat beside him. They didn't speak for over an hour, each caught up in their own activity.

Reaching the bottom of the stack of tests, Severus turned to look at Hermione, curled up in the chair next to him; completely engrossed in the book he'd given her. He smiled, realizing they'd spent the past hour and a half together, never saying a word to the other, but thinking to himself how pleasant it had been just to have her there. Usually, especially when grading papers, he needed solitude in order to concentrate, but he hadn't given her presence a second thought. Watching as her eyes slowly scanned the page, he almost hated to disturb her.

"I'm finished," he said quietly. "But please continue reading if you'd like."

"Oh no," she said, putting the book down on his desk after marking her spot. "I can read later."

He stood and reached for her hand to help her up, then slipped his hands around her waist as hers reached up and around his neck. "Maybe we could go crawl back in bed," he purred, leaning down close to her ear. "And continue what we began earlier."

Goosebumps rose over her body as his warm breath tickled her ear. "I think that sounds like a very good idea," she said as his lips claimed hers in a lasting kiss.

A knock on the door startled them. They jerked apart as Severus called out, "Enter!"

Albus walked in and immediately noticed the reddened faces of Hermione and Severus. "Am I …interrupting anything?" he asked, twinkle in his eyes.

"Ah…no," Severus answered. "I just finished grading some papers. Is everything okay?" It wasn't like Albus to come by just to visit.

"Somewhat," he answered, glancing at Hermione. "I paid a visit to the Malfoys today."

"What happened?" Hermione immediately asked.

With another glance her direction, Albus said to Severus, "Perhaps we should discuss this later?"

"Professor Dumbledore," she said quickly. "Since I was the one kidnapped, I think I'm well within my right to hear anything related to my situation."

Severus raised his eyebrow and smirked at Albus.

"Yes I suppose you're right," Albus agreed. "Let's sit and have some tea, shall we?"

"Of course," Severus said as all three entered into the living room area, Albus and Hermione sitting on the couch while he brewed the tea.

Moments later, two cups of steaming tea were levitated to Albus and Hermione while Severus joined them, sitting on the edge of the couch by her.

"Wonderful as always," Albus said warmly after taking a sip. "So as I was saying…I visited the Malfoys."

"And?" Severus asked.

" We had a little chat about Hermione's disappearance from Hogwarts," he answered. "I told them that I gave her a truth serum and made her tell me what had happened the past four days."

"So they know you know what really happened?" she asked, afraid that would do more harm than good.

"Lucius knows I have…done that in the past when necessary," Albus explained. "He tried to deny that either of them had any involvement, trying to say he was set up and framed. I told him I should send him to Azkaban for kidnapping a student."

"Are you?" Hermione asked, feeling Severus' hand on her shoulder.

"I have expelled Draco from Hogwarts," Albus said. "He will not be returning."

"That's it?" she asked. "So neither of them get anything for what they did to me?"

"Hermione," Severus said, surprised at Albus' action, as he couldn't remember the last time that had happened. "A pureblood expelled from wizarding school, the one your family has attended for generations, is a severe punishment."

"Indeed," Albus agreed. "By expelling him, I have disgraced the Malfoys and shamed them into hiding. The clout that Lucius has carried for years is gone, completely disappeared. It will be in the papers tomorrow. I also told him in no uncertain terms that should I see either of their faces again, I will personally take both of them to Azkaban and give them a truth serum so they will admit their own guilt." He paused. "And there is much for them, especially Lucius, to admit."

Hermione glanced up at Severus and then at Albus. "So that's it?" she asked. "We don't have to worry about them?"

"I have done more damage to them than they could ever dream of doing to you," Albus said with a small smile. "I hated to do it but they gave me no choice. I will not have my students being kidnapped and used against their will."

Hermione stood up, turning around and hugging Severus, not caring that Albus was there, as he knew about them anyway.

"That reminds me of the other reason I'm here," Albus said as she pulled from Severus and looked at him.

"What is it?" she asked.

"While I have no qualm whatsoever with you two," he began. "I'm afraid there are those that will try to cause problems should they find out. I must ask you both to keep your relationship a secret until after graduation. It will be irrelevant after that."

"Albus you know we would never put ourselves in a position to be caught," Severus told him. "Unlike others in the past, we understand discretion."

With a knowing smile, Albus said with a smile. "It's not your words I'm concerned with. It's the glow radiating from you both when you're within five feet of each other. And Severus, you must find a way to get your sneer back. The students won't know what to do with a smiling and happy potions professor."

Hermione blushed and glanced at Severus who was also slightly pink. "Sorry," she said sheepishly. "We'll work on it."

Albus set his empty cup down and stood. "I must be going," he announced. "Make sure if anything strange happens that you tell me immediately."

"Okay," Hermione said. "Thank you so much."

With a wave, he left. After hearing the classroom door close, Hermione faced Severus. "I've never heard of a student being expelled," she told him. "Has it happened before?"

Shaking his head, Severus answered, "Not like this. Albus will have to answer dearly for this I'm afraid."

"Will he get in trouble?"

"Not exactly," Severus answered. "Do not worry. You are safe. That's all that counts."

She laughed. "So we're glowing huh?" she teased, choosing not to mention the "relationship" word that Albus had said. "I guess that's good?"

Severus sneered slightly but then ended up laughing and shaking his head. "I don't know if I've ever glowed before," he said. "Unless someone's potion went wrong and ended up on me." He pulled her to him again. "What are you doing to me?"

She kissed him quickly and said, "I know what I'd _like_ to do to you."

"Is that so?" he asked, eyebrow up in question.

"Yep."

"What are we waiting for then?"

"We were waiting for Dumbledore to leave."

"Well he's gone."

"Then let's go, 'happy potions professor'."

* * *

"You're still glowing _Professor_," Hermione teased, hours later as they lay in bed still. "Really, you must work on that." 

"Am I?" he teased back. "Well maybe I should rethink my actions causing the glow."

"Let's not get drastic," Hermione said, enjoying listening to his laugh.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, seeing it was almost eight.

"Not for food," she answered honestly.

"You're hormones are still raging, _Miss Granger_," Severus teased. "Really, you must work on that."

She laughed, feeling almost giddy as she lay in his arms. "God, what are we going to do?" she asked. "How am I supposed to sit in class and pretend I don't like you?"

He shook his head. "The same way I'm supposed to snarl and take points away from you," he answered. "When I think of something, I'll let you know."

She laughed again. "I guess we'll just have to pretend it's my first year," she said. "What a mess."

"Indeed," he agreed, glancing over at the clock. "I've got a potion I really need to brew for Albus. He asked me for it a few days ago."

"Let's go then," she said, getting up and reaching for her clothes.

He smiled and shook his head as he dressed. He hadn't even asked if she wanted to help. "Well that answers my question," he told her with a smirk.

After reaching his private lab, Severus handed her the list of ingredients. "Call these out and I'll get them," he instructed her.

Hermione read the list, one by one, watching as he quickly moved around the lab, gathering what they needed.

"Do you have any idea what type of potion we're working on by the ingredients?" he asked curiously.

Her eyes scanned over the list again. Sunflower root, mushroom powder, skunkweed powder, crushed beetle shells…"Something medicinal," she answered. "For…some kind of infection?"

Severus smiled, thinking he shouldn't be surprised. "Remind me to congratulate you properly later," he told her. "That is correct. It is for the Bell Infection."

Hermione thought for a moment. "The Bell Infection," she began. "First diagnosed by Mortimer Bell back in the late 1700s. It affects the…liver?"

"Kidneys," Severus corrected. "That's what we're making this potion for. It's the antidote for it."

"Who has it?"

"Albus has bouts every so often," he answered. "It doesn't take much and he's fine again." He was busy preparing the small cauldron. "Grab the mortar and pestle to begin…"

"Crushing the beetle shells," she finished, quickly finding what she needed. "Fine powder?"

"Yes."

She began crushing while he lit a fire under the cauldron, waiting for the milk thistle juice to slowly come to a boil. He watched her silently as she bit her lip, grinding the crunchy shells into a fine powder, apparently thinking she didn't have enough and adding a few more, continuing her grinding. He'd never allowed anyone in his private lab and certainly not while he was brewing potions for Albus' conditions but it seemed natural for her to be there helping him. He enjoyed her presence instead of finding it annoying as he did with others.

"Is this enough?" she finally asked, showing him her progress.

"Just a bit more," he answered, watching her repeat the process, adding the skunkweed powder, thinking he would test her again. "When should we add the mushroom powder?"

She looked up from her grinding, glancing at the bubbling cauldron and then up at him. "It's quite explosive," she answered. "The last potion I used it in I had to wait until it cooled to add it in and then slowly increased the heat to finish."

He smirked and said, "Your potions professor must be very proud."

Finished with the grinding and laying the pestle down, Hermione said, "I hope he is."

Their eyes met briefly before returning to their task. "Okay," he said. "Pour the beetle shell powder in as I stir." The dark powder turned the potion black. "Cut the sunflower root into one inch square pieces. We'll need seven." She reached for the sharp knife and carefully began cutting the root as he continued stirring the bubbling mixture. "Now add in one at a time," he said. "Each one will have to melt completely before adding the next."

"Okay," she said, eyes watching as she dropped the first piece in, watching as the root caused bright yellow swirls in the black potion. "So when the yellow is gone, then I drop in the next piece?"

"Exactly," he said, knowing if he'd been teaching this in class, he would have needed to explain that.

Silence fell between them for a few minutes while they watched each piece of sunflower root dissolve, swirling yellow quickly disappearing into the dark mixture as he stirred. "Now we extinguish the fire," he said, pointing his wand at the bottom of the cauldron. "And once it has cooled, then we can add the mushroom powder."

"How long before it cools?" she asked.

"It will take about twenty minutes," he answered, beginning to clean up. "Not too long." He turned his back, gathering small bottles and containers and putting them away, disappearing into a small closet and getting caught up in arranging the shelves that were in varying stages of disarray.

Fifteen minutes later, he returned, having lost track of time, and found Hermione's head down on the table, resting on her arm, realizing she was asleep. _She wasn't even yawning_, he thought, tilting his head to the side as he watched her. _I'll just put her to bed then. _

Slipping an arm around her back and another under her legs, he lifted her gently as she leaned against him, and carried her to the bedroom, placing her in bed and covering her with the sheets. She barely stirred, rolling over and clutching the pillow to her head. He smiled again, enjoying how she looked in his bed, finding himself wishing she could stay there.

_Wishing she could stay here_, his inner voice repeated. _Yes I suppose I do wish she could stay here instead of returning to her dormitory in a couple more days. I enjoy her presence as no other before her. I love her…and it absolutely terrifies me. _


	11. Does He or Doesn't He

The few days with Severus flew by, much too quickly for both.

Hermione was amazed at how comfortable she'd been with him in his chambers. Not once was he short with her or act as if he didn't want her there. She'd remained at his side, in one form or another, either sitting quietly beside him as he graded essays and tests or working beside him brewing potions. She'd never enjoyed anyone's company the way she enjoyed his. Falling asleep and waking up in his arms had taken her to a new level of happiness. Even sex with him had evolved into something strangely beautiful. Their first few encounters had been very unemotional and highly erotic as Severus had controlled everything, showing her a world she didn't know existed. Now there was obvious emotion in their actions and gestures. She just _felt_ the difference, even though she couldn't really explain it. His touch was more gentle, his eyes were softer, his kisses longer…just different.

As she laid in her own bed, wondering if she'd be able to fall asleep without him beside her, surprised at how quickly she'd grown accustomed to being with him through the night, Hermione remembered the words she'd heard in her mind. Did she want to hear him say _I love you_? Is that why she said it inside her mind? Apparently she did want to hear it from him otherwise she wouldn't have imagined him saying it to her then. And the kicker was, she immediately _thought_ it back with no hesitation. _Did_ she love him? She'd never been in love before and couldn't help but question herself. Was she sure it wasn't some kind of infatuation? Or some curiosity because he was the first man she felt this strongly for? Or possibly because there was some attraction to the secrecy of their meetings, having to sneak around?

She turned over and clutched her pillow, immediately missing his scent that she had looked forward to each night. No it had to be love. Not the extreme 'let's get married' love…but love nonetheless. After all, she loved her parents differently than she loved her friends so why couldn't she love him? She genuinely cared about him and he for her. They'd both proven it. She didn't know what would happen after graduation but found it difficult to picture herself without him after this time with him.

_After graduation_, she thought. _We haven't even discussed anything resembling a relationship. Why should I think there would be anything after graduation, regardless of what we feel? There's so much I want to do, so much I want to see, and I know he'll remain here at Hogwarts where he has been for years now. Neither one of us have the personality to compromise what we want. _

Hermione pushed the thoughts out of her mind as best she could. No use worrying about unknowns now. She had the last half of her seventh year to finish and was sure it would be the hardest yet with her exit exams. Instead of worrying about a future that would take care of itself, she decided to enjoy each day as it came. It was really all she could do anyway.

* * *

Severus was standing at the window, staring out over the grounds but not really seeing anything. All he saw was her. Sitting by him in the classroom. Standing by him in the lab. Lying beside him in his bed. Underneath him when their bodies joined in the wee hours of the morning. Smiling at him. Laughing with him. Moaning because of him. Concentrating as they worked on a potion or when they were quiet reading. Just _her. _Everywhere.

But she wasn't there, having returned back to her dormitory so they wouldn't be discovered as students were returning from holiday. They were taking enough of a chance as it was. He hoped Albus' drastic decision to expel Draco took care of that side of the problem. Now they just needed to get through the rest of the year and then could go from there.

_Go from there, _he thought. _And where exactly are we going? She's a brilliant young woman with her life ahead of her. She could go anywhere; do anything with that mind of hers. I will be staying at Hogwarts. Why should I think there would be anything after graduation? What would we do, get married? _He chuckled at the thought of standing at the end of an aisle, watching Hermione glide down in a white dress. _I hardly think that's probable. _

He shook his head. Why was he even thinking about it? Anything could happen between now and graduation. She could decide this was a mistake and never talk to him again. She could find someone her own age and forget about him. _She told you she loved you,_ he reminded himself. _Yes but she didn't know that was me. She was probably just responding in the moment. _

The fact remained however. He loved her.

And for someone who prided himself on the fact he could instill fear in others, he thought it odd that now someone was instilling fear in him.

* * *

"Hermione!" Harry exclaimed as they met in the common room Sunday evening. "We missed you! But Scotland was amazing! Wait till I show you pictures!" He'd gone with Ron, Ginny and their parents during holiday to visit cousins of Arthur's. He'd been near giddy about going, as the Dursleys had never taken him anywhere.

"I can't wait to hear all about it," Hermione said as they sat in front of the crackling fire.

"You should have seen the castles," Ron continued. "Bloody old they were but wonderful. We thought we saw ghosts in one."

"We?" Ginny asked with a laugh. "Was that before or after you went running down the hall screaming?"

"Oh come off it," Ron said, turning slightly pink. "Did we miss anything here?"

Hermione bit her lip. She'd been wondering how to answer the question she knew she'd be asked. Certainly they would find out why Draco had been expelled, even if no one else did, and she knew they'd be furious if she didn't tell them first as they were her best friends and had been for years. If the tables were turned, she knew she'd be upset. She couldn't tell them about Severus though, choosing to not share that part of her holiday with them.

"Well," she began, glancing at each one of them. "Something did happen. But before I tell you, you need to know I'm perfectly all right."

Ginny frowned. "Were you hurt?" she asked, expression serious.

"Who was he? I'll kill him," Ron instantly said, face slightly red.

"Shh," Harry told him. "Go on, Hermione."

"Ginny knows this but you two don't," she said to Harry and Ron. "Draco and I were…together a couple times."

Both sat in silence for a moment.

"Together as in…" Harry started, concern in his voice.

"You slept with that Slytherin prick?" Ron asked hotly, eyes wide in alarm.

"Ronald," Ginny hissed under her breath, shooting him a look.

Hermione sighed. "Yes," she answered, thinking how stupid it sounded now. "Everyone else was doing it. I just wanted it out of the way, you know? And he hadn't given me a hard time in a couple years. He's been a little preoccupied."

"That's an understatement," Ron said sarcastically, finding that he felt almost hurt. "Why him though?"

"I thought he would be a sure thing," she said with a slight laugh. "And that he'd be on to the next and leave me alone. Only he didn't. He kept trying to…get me back to his room and I started telling him no. Then he cornered me in the hall and tried to…force himself on me."

"Did you tell someone?" Ginny asked.

"Sev…Snape rounded the corner and grabbed him off of me," she answered, quickly correcting herself. "Of course, Draco was pissed and went running down the hall, threatening that we'd hear from his father."

"I'm not liking the sound of this," Harry said shaking his head.

"Lucius showed up here a few days ago," Hermione continued. "And while he was chatting with Snape about what happened, Draco left a fake note saying I was leaving for holiday and then knocked me out with a spell. They took me back to their house and kept me for four days."

"Oh my god," Ginny said, eyes wide.

"They what?" Ron shrieked. "I'll kill them both!"

"Ron, really," Harry said exasperated, rolling his eyes. "What happened?"

"Draco wanted his way," Hermione explained. "He wanted me and when I started saying no, he got pissed. Then when Snape threw him off me, he went running to daddy and they came up with this little scheme to lock me away."

"Lock you away?" Ron repeated. "What did they do to you?"

Hermione bit her lip again. "Well," she began. "Draco got what he wanted…a few times…" She paused. "As did his father," she added quietly.

"What?" Harry exclaimed, his tone now meeting Ron's. "Lucius?"

"How awful!" Ginny said, eyes sad.

Ron was so mad, his face bright red, no words were possible.

"Did you tell Dumbledore?" Harry asked.

"Snape was sent by him to check things out because of the note and the fact I'd not told anyone I was leaving and because I had been involved with Draco," she explained. "And he found out they were lying so I was returned quicker than what was planned."

"Are they going to Azkaban?" Ginny asked, hoping.

"No," Hermione answered. "Dumbledore expelled Draco."

Ron gasped, as Harry looked confused. "That's it?" he asked.

"Snape said it was worse than Azkaban," Hermione told them.

Finding his voice, Ron said, "It is worse. There's only been one other expelled from Hogwarts and…well…it's bad. Wow."

"It shames the entire family," Ginny explained. "Especially in this case with the Malfoys being so prominent. It's like being blacklisted, you know?"

"But you're okay then?" Harry asked, wishing he'd been here, thinking he could have done something. "They didn't…hurt you?"

"I'm okay," she said, forcing a smile. "Really." She chose to leave out the part about Draco wanting to get her pregnant as that would mean revealing her abortion from earlier in the year which would also mean explaining the protection spell Snape put over her that she hadn't known about which would then mean explaining why he was concerned enough for her to do that.

Ginny hugged Hermione. "I'm sorry," she said. "That must have been so awful. If you need to talk about any of it later, you know I'll listen."

"Thank you," she said. "I…uh…talked with Snape quite a bit actually."

Ginny raised her eyebrow, understanding what Hermione couldn't say out loud.

"To Snape?" Ron asked. "Why him? That would be like talking to a wall!"

She shook her head. "He's very easy to talk to," she said. "It made me feel better regardless."

"That's all that counts," Harry said. "I'm really sorry you had to go through that."

"Me too," Ron added.

"Thank you," she said. "But it's over and done. Go get your pictures. I want to hear all about Scotland."

When Harry and Ron reluctantly disappeared up the staircase, Ginny asked, "So Severus helped you again?"

"Yeah."

"Do you care about him?"

Hermione's eyes met Ginny's, knowing she couldn't lie to her. "Yeah," she answered. "I do."

Ginny smiled. "Apparently he cares about you too," she said. "I'm glad he was here for you."

"Me too," Hermione said quietly as the guys returned with an armful of mementos and picture books.

* * *

The first week of classes was torture for Hermione as she found she couldn't concentrate on anything. Harry and Ron were still giving her sympathetic looks, which she kept telling them to stop doing, while Ginny would give her a knowing wink periodically. In classes, her mind would wander back to days previous when she stayed with Severus. She pictured him when he first woke up, hair tousled more than usual, voice raspy, wrapped up in his sheets, yawning and stretching. She thought about how they would sit together in his classroom, her reading and him grading his tests, never having to say a word to each other. She remembered helping him with potions in his lab, amazed at how easily they worked together, preparing and blending ingredients, almost anticipating each other's moves. She replayed the passionate and tender moments between them, still amazed at his gentleness with her.

"Miss Granger," Severus said, forcing an annoyed tone. "Care to share with the class where your mind has wandered off to?"

Fighting a blush, Hermione looked up at him during Friday's class, knowing he knew exactly where her mind was. "Um…no…sorry Professor," she said quietly, looking back down at her parchment.

"A moment after class if you will," he sneered, happy he could still do it convincingly. "Maybe some extra rolls of parchment will keep you focused."

When class ended, Harry and Ron gathered their books. "See you back in the common room," Harry told her.

"Tell me if he gives you a hard time," Ron said protectively as they left the classroom with the other students.

Both waited until the door closed behind the last student.

"So you wanted to see me?" Hermione asked with a smile, approaching his desk.

He smiled too. "See you, touch you, kiss you," he answered, eyebrow raised. "Tell me when to stop."

"What if I don't want you to stop?" she asked, standing beside his chair.

He reached for her hands and pulled her into his lap, pointing his wand at the door to cast a locking spell. "Then you might be late getting back to your friends," he told her, nuzzling her neck, inhaling her scent, realizing how much he'd missed her all week.

"They'll live," she said, closing her eyes and allowing goosebumps to dance over her body as his lips left her neck and seized her lips in a quick kiss.

"Do you remember the way to my secret room?" he purred.

"I think so," she answered. "Why?"

"I think we should start meeting there," he told her. "It might look suspicious if you're always near the dungeons. If we meet there, no one will see us."

"Okay," she agreed. "Can we meet there tonight?"

"I was hoping," he answered, holding her still when she tried to get up from his lap. "And where are you going?"

"Well we're meeting tonight right?"

"Yes."

"Then I was going to leave and see you tonight," she explained with a smirk, teasing him.

"I don't think you need to leave so soon," he said quietly, pulling her close. "Unless you really want to."

Feeling his lips softly caress her neck again, she melted into his hold, fingers slipping through his silky hair. "Um…okay," she whispered quite distracted. "I'll stay."

* * *

The news of Draco's being expelled was the hot topic for about a month and then slowly faded away. The Daily Prophet ran one vague article and rumors flew consequently. Thankfully only a select few ever knew the real reason, Hermione hoping she'd never see either one of them again, as she was quite sure that they would have a vendetta against her.

Winter soon disappeared from Hogwarts as icicles fell from their hanging spots and snow melted from the grounds. Instead flowers of every color were blooming bright and birds were singing happily. Springtime had arrived.

New romances were blossoming as well, but Severus and Hermione were oblivious to them as they met every Friday and Saturday at his secret chamber, the one he used during the summer. Both Harry and Ron were preoccupied with interests of their own and didn't notice how much time Hermione spent out of the common room.

Severus managed somehow to keep his snarling way about him, still barking at students who just refused to listen to his instruction. But deep inside, his heart was lighter than it had ever been. Hermione's steps were lighter too. Since spending time with Severus, Hogwarts seemed a different place. Even her studies, which were usually almost effortless, now seemed to float by with barely a notice.

* * *

"So Hermione," Ginny asked one night, as they got ready for bed. "What are you going to do about the dance?"

The brush sliding through her brown hair stopped. "Dance?" she repeated, eyes wide.

"Seventh years have a big dance," she said, sitting Indian style on her bed. "The Graduation Formal? You remember when Fred and George went."

Hermione had forgotten all about it. "That's right," she said, memories coming back to her. "They spiked the punch and everyone started hiccupping bubbles."

Both girls laughed, remembering when the twins had told the story.

"Everyone pairs up though," Ginny said. "It's almost a requirement. You know how Dumbledore is."

"Pairs up?" Hermione asked. "That's silly. It couldn't be a requirement otherwise people would end up with people they didn't like."

"If people don't pair up on their own," Ginny continued. "I've heard he does it for them." She paused to lower her voice. "What would you do about…him?"

"I don't know," Hermione answered with a shrug. "I haven't thought about it really. Guess I'll just ask someone then."

"Will he get jealous, you think?"

"Jealous?" Hermione repeated amused. "I highly doubt that. He understands the position we're in." Why should he be jealous anyway? They still hadn't discussed anything about a relationship. "When is this dance?" she asked.

"About a month away," Ginny answered.

Hermione decided to mention it to Severus.

* * *

As Hermione lay in Severus' arms a few days later, she said, "You know that ball is coming up soon."

"I know," he said with little enthusiasm, wishing they didn't have it and that he didn't have to attend.

"I've heard everyone is supposed to pair up," she continued.

"Yes, one of Dumbledore's ways I'm afraid," Severus said wearily.

"So that means I have to find a date," she said. "And it obviously can't be you." She sat up and turned to face him.

"Yes I suppose you will," he agreed. "Or he will do it for you."

Hermione sat for a moment. "The thought of being in someone else's arms…" she trailed off, curious as to what he would say.

"Certainly you can handle it for one night," he said simply, sitting up as well. "It's not a wedding."

Hermione bit her lip. She was used to his sarcasm, knowing he thought the dance was pointless, but she realized she wanted him to be jealous, or at least have some reaction to her being with someone else. She decided to drop the topic, as she felt rather silly with her thoughts, telling herself she was overreacting.

* * *

A couple weeks later, strange things began happening between Severus and Hermione. She began to feel like he was ignoring her in class, trying to tell herself it was just his way of handling their situation. But later, when they were alone, he didn't seem as attentive as he'd always been. He was a little distant and explained it was because of one thing or another when she asked about it. She found herself closing up from him consequently and losing patience, storming into the common room more than once, face red in frustration, ignoring whoever was in there and heading straight to bed.

When she told him they couldn't meet the Friday night before the dance because she needed to help a Hufflepuff with his Advanced Arithmancy project, she knew something was amiss inside her. Severus had said he understood and that he'd hope to see her the following night, not really sounding like he would miss her.

Hermione didn't have to meet with Richard that night but had suggested it on purpose to have an excuse not to spend time with Severus. As she worked with Richard in the quiet library, thinking how they'd always gotten along so well, she found herself asking him if he'd be her date for the dance.

"Nothing serious," she clarified, flashing her smile. "But it would be nice to go with you."

Richard smiled. "That sounds great," he told her. "I was thinking about asking you anyway. You just had more nerve than me."

Hermione smiled. At least that was done. Richard was a good guy so she was pleased with herself.

* * *

All the seventh years were talking about the dance that was only days away. The guys were less impressed while the girls were near giddy about who was going with who and what they would wear. Hermione participated in conversations but didn't really care, beginning to wonder about herself as her reactions were vastly different than her girlfriends'. Why did she not get into this like the others did? She honestly didn't care what dress she would wear or how her hair would be styled, much more concerned about what was happening between her and Severus and why he was closing up from her.

Friday night finally arrived. The Great Hall was emptied of its usual long rows of tables, having only three over to the side filled with punch and sugary sweet delights. Filch was assigned to punch bowl duty to make sure there was no incident like the year before. Everyone had donned their fanciest robes and dresses, all colors visible in the hall instead of the usual black.

Harry had asked Cho, who seemed to have stars in their eyes when they looked at each other, while Ron had asked Jill, a girl from Ravenclaw he could barely keep his hands off of.

"Hermione you look great," Harry greeted her. "Hi Richard."

"Hi Harry. Hi Cho," he greeted, taking a sip of his drink and looking around. "Hey, look at ol' Snape. Looks happy as punch, doesn't he?"

All four turned to see Severus lurking in a dark corner, arms crossed, lips pursed in annoyance, looking almost like a mad statue of himself. It made Hermione want to run over and throw her arms around him but knew that was impossible. She thought his robe looked like crushed velvet and found herself longing to feel it against her skin.

"Have you seen Ron yet?" Harry asked, interrupting her thoughts

Just then they spotted Professor McGonagall bringing in two students, all three of them red in the face.

Harry laughed. "Looks like Ron was trying to start early," he said as Ron and Jill began walking over to them.

"Can't you wait?" Hermione teased when they were within earshot.

"Funny you are," he said. "McGonagall was pretty mad with us."

Professor Dumbledore clapped his hands to get everyone's attention. "Welcome to the Annual Graduation Formal!" he announced as everyone applauded. "There is unlimited food and drink available. But be aware that if you try to venture too far away from the hall, you will be brought back promptly. Dance and be merry!"

More applause as the music began to play. Professor Dumbledore led Professor McGonagall to the dance floor first, which seemed to loosen everyone up a bit, and soon most everyone was dancing.

The three couples of Harry and Cho, Ron and Jill and Richard and Hermione stayed close throughout the evening dancing, taking a break for sweets and punch, and then dancing again.

Hermione would periodically look over at Severus, who never moved from his spot. Professor Dumbledore brought him punch and Professor McGonagall tried to get him to dance but he refused. Hermione was hoping to catch his eye but it looked as if he were purposely not looking her direction. She didn't understand and found she was quite upset with him. What had been his problem lately anyway? Well, if that's how he wanted it to be, so be it.

The last song of the evening was a long slow one. Hermione purposely steered her and Richard to make sure Severus could see them. He and Filch were the only ones in the hall not dancing and she tried to tell herself she didn't care. But she wanted Severus to see her with someone else since he was being so difficult.

Richard had been attentive to Hermione all night, holding her hand or putting his arm around her shoulders, and she liked it. She knew she couldn't be serious with him but it made for a very nice evening. So much so that when he kissed her lips lightly as they danced close, she didn't pull away.

The formal ended at one AM as everyone was exhausted from hours of dancing. As the three couples left the hall with the others to walk back to their dormitories, Hermione couldn't find Severus anywhere. _Damn him_, she thought. _What the hell is wrong with him?_

Harry and Ron's goodbyes to Cho and Jill lasted much longer than Hermione's to Richard.

"Thank you," she told him. "I had a great time."

"Me too," Richard said. "Maybe we can go to Hogsmeade together sometime."

Hermione smiled and kissed his cheek. "That would be fun," she said. "Goodnight Richard."

As she lay in bed, wishing she could sleep but feeling wide awake, her mind wandered to Severus again. He was hurting her and she didn't know what to do. Was that it? Had he just decided they were no more? They'd been so close and happy. Things seemed to change overnight. She'd have to talk to him again. This would drive her absolutely mad.

* * *

Hermione stayed in her dormitory most of the weekend and was happy when Monday arrived so she could return to her classes, purposely staying away from the dungeons until Friday for potions class.

She couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him in such a mood. He was yelling at everyone but her it seemed, half the class ending up with detentions and the other half with extra assignments.

Hermione took her time cleaning up, telling Ron and Harry she'd see them later, and noticed Severus disappeared into his chamber with no glance her direction. She was determined to talk to him and placed a locking spell on the door after the last student left.

"Severus," she called out as she walked into his chamber. He exited the bathroom wiping his face with a small towel.

"Why are you here?" he asked curtly.

She fell silent for a moment, quite shocked at his question. "Why am I here?" she repeated. "Why do you think I'm here?"

"Miss Granger, I do not have time for these games," he said, sending the towel back into the bathroom with his wand. "Please don't answer my question with a question."

Anger was slowly building inside Hermione. "I'm here to talk to you," she told him. 'And to put it bluntly for you, to find out what bug crawled up your ass."

"Such eloquence," he scoffed at her expression, eyebrows joining in a frown. "What do you need to talk about?"

She crossed her arms. "Where is the Severus that helped me through one of the worst times in my life?" she asked. "Where is the Severus that was worried about me when I was kidnapped?" She raised her voice. "And where is the Severus I've spent months with?"

He didn't speak for a moment. "He wised up," he answered, voice cold as ice.

"Are you saying that was all a mistake?" she asked, voice cracking slightly, knowing tears weren't far behind. "Has everything with me been…a lie?"

Brushing past her, heading for the classroom, he said, "Call it what you will."

She followed him out as he sat at his desk. "I don't believe you," she said. "If there are any lies, it's what you're saying to me now."

He said nothing and began grading tests from an earlier class.

"Don't ignore me!" she yelled, standing in front of his desk.

"Get out of my classroom!" he yelled back, standing up, eyes blazing with rage. "Now!"

Out of both shock and fear, Hermione turned and ran from the classroom, heading for her dormitory, tears spilling down her face.

How could he be so cruel? How could he turn against her and ignore what they meant to each other? What had happened? Had Dumbledore said something? Had Lucius threatened him?

Changing her mind, Hermione headed for Dumbledore's office. When she approached the gargoyle, she realized she didn't know the password. "Emergency!" she finally exclaimed and the statue moved.

"Come in Miss Granger," Albus said when he heard the soft knock.

She stepped in and closed the door behind her. "I need to talk to you," she said, wiping tears. "It's…personal."

Albus smiled warmly. "I can see you're terribly upset," he said. "Please sit my dear."

Hermione sat in the large leather chair, still sniffing. "He's changed," she said, eyes pleading with him to help her. "I don't understand what's happened. He won't talk to me."

"I see," Albus said, not surprised. "Nothing specific happened?"

"No," she answered. "He began to distance himself from me about a month ago and it seems to have gotten worse."

"Do you love him?" Albus asked simply.

Her eyes met his, always amazed at their gentleness and depth of knowledge. "Well I've never loved like this before," she answered. "But I think I do."

He smiled. "Miss Granger," he began. "I've known Severus for many years. And never have I seen him as happy as with you. Rarely have I ever seen him happy at all. But you bring out a side to him that I longed to see but assumed I never would." He paused. "He loves you, more than you know."

She was confused. "Then why is he treating me so bad?" she asked.

"Severus has not had an easy life," Albus explained. "He has been used, lied to and manipulated by so many. It's his defense to hurt others before they can hurt him. You're in pretty deep and it's terrifying him." He stood up and sat on the edge of his desk, closer to her. "Has he ever mentioned Lilianna?"

Hermione shook her head.

"Please don't repeat this," Albus began. "But Lilianna was a woman he loved years ago. They began a relationship during her final year as well. Things were very good until the rise of Voldemort. He was a spy at that point in his life. Voldemort however noticed a change in Severus. I will not share the grim details with you but Voldemort eventually put an _Imperius_ curse on him, controlling his actions, making him bring her to a death eater rally and then forced him to sacrifice her as an act of loyalty, all under Voldemort's power and not his own."

"Oh my god," she gasped.

"As you can imagine," Albus continued. "Severus was completely devastated. I'm afraid those feelings of guilt and fear are resurfacing."

"But those days are over," she pointed out. "We don't have to worry anymore."

"You were kidnapped," Albus said. "That's all it took. It frightened him that much."

Hermione was quiet for a moment. "So what am I supposed to do?" she asked.

"Continue to try to talk to him," he told her. "You will probably have to endure more anger and many harsh words but he needs to know your love is deep and feel secure that you won't just walk away from him."

"I understand," Hermione said nodding. "I basically need to be as stubborn as him."

"Indeed," Albus said with a smile. "Do not let him frighten you because he will certainly try."

"Okay," she said quietly, standing up, feeling a little better. "Thank you for your help." She paused, biting her lip. "Professor, do you think we're wrong for…being together?"

"Are you hurting each other?" he asked gently.

"No."

"Are you using your ages to manipulate the other in any way?"

"No."

"Do you genuinely care for each other?"

"Yes."

"Then how could it be wrong?"

Hermione smiled. "Thank you," she said quietly and left his office.

* * *

_Okay...if I'm remembering COS correctly, I think Hagrid was expelled...it's been awhile since I read it...but we're pretending that part didn't exist...my literary liberty..._


	12. Determination

Saturday Hermione headed back down to the dungeons but didn't find Severus. She headed for his secret chamber but he wasn't there either. She searched throughout the castle for two hours, finally searching one last place, chastising herself for not thinking of it earlier.

She found him in the library, in the furthest, darkest corner, engrossed in a book. Had they been on regular terms, she would have smiled.

"Professor Snape," she addressed, incase anyone could hear. "A word please." Her tone told him he had no choice.

Severus looked up from his book with a mixed expression of exhaustion, worry and annoyance. "Certainly, Miss Granger," he replied, standing up and following her from the library.

"We should go to your classroom," she told him as they walked.  
"Fine."

They walked in silence all the way until the door closed behind them. Severus sat in a chair in the back of the room and looked at her but said nothing.

Hermione stared at him briefly before she began. "I don't know what has happened the past month or so," she told him. "But incase you don't remember, I'm quite stubborn. Don't think I'm going to let you walk away from me that easy."

Severus nodded. "Are you finished?" he asked with no expression on his face.

"Maybe."

"Then continue."

"I need you to talk to me," she told him.

He stood up and started to walk towards the door.

"Don't make me stun you," she warned, eyes narrowed.

Turning on his heel, Severus glared at her. "Is that a threat?" he asked in shock.

"Call it what you will," she quipped.

Anger instantly erupted from him causing him to grab her arms below her shoulders roughly and shake her once. "Don't you dare mock me," he hissed.

"Or what?" She was not afraid of his outburst this time.

His dark eyes met hers before he pushed her away. "Can't you just leave me alone?" he asked.

His question had sounded like a plea. "Why?" she asked. "Because that's what's easiest for you?"

"You don't understand!"

"You're right there," she said. "One minute we're close and happy and discussing our feelings and the next you're treating me like an enemy."

"You're brainy," he sneered. "What does that tell you?"

She smirked. "It tells me that you're scared of something," she answered.

"Scared?" he repeated with a laugh. "Highly improbable."

"I think you're pulling away from me," she said. "You're scared of getting too close…"

"Stop."

"You're feeling stronger than you ever have and don't know what to do about…"

"Stop I said!"

"And your defense mechanism is kicking in so…"

"Shut up!" he yelled, consumed by emotion he was quickly losing control of. "Don't you understand you could be in danger?"

Hermione just looked at him.

"Foolish girl!" he exclaimed. "Feelings are nothing! I have the capacity to kill those I love!"

Hermione's eyes widened at his words. "You love me?" she asked.

"No!" Severus exclaimed, quickly losing what little composure was left, standing up and shoving the chair away from him with his foot. "I do not! I can not!"

"You do!" she exclaimed, determined to break through the wall, especially now. "And you can!"

"No!" he yelled again, throwing his arms up in the air. "You're stupid for entertaining such thoughts!"

"I love you too!" she yelled, walking up to him and bravely reaching for his face, pulling it to her to plant a quick kiss on his lips. "Listen to me! I love you, Severus!"

Eyes wide in alarm, Severus stood still for a minute, eyes searching hers for something although not sure what, then turned away from her, slumping down into another chair, his back to her.

He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't keep treating her like this. But what could he do? She just told him she loved him and he almost couldn't believe it. The last one to love him ended up dead by his own hand. His love for her had meant nothing. It couldn't save her life. And Hermione had already been through enough this year. He knew Voldemort was gone, but a fear as deep as he'd caused didn't vanish completely. He would always be marked, physically, emotionally, mentally. If anything happened to her too…

"Severus," Hermione said gently, slowly approaching him, not sure how he might react, waiting for him to jump up from the chair towards her. When he said nothing and didn't move, she walked around where he was sitting so she could see him. "Severus?" she repeated but then noticed why he wasn't speaking. A tear had slipped from each eye, down his cheeks, one hand at his forehead as if shielding his eyes.

Not sure what to do, as it was a sight she never thought she'd see, Hermione stood still, her heart breaking. She had to do something. Should she leave? Or stay? Then it hit her.

She crawled into his lap and cradled his head to her chest, relieved when she felt his arms slip around her body and cling to her, his body gently shaking from his silent release of emotion. She fought her own tears, unable to even think of what it was like to be him, to have seen the things he'd seen, to do the things he'd done both in and out of his control. Her heart ached as it never had, wishing she could convince him that she'd be all right.

His body was controlling him as he had no choice but to allow her the turn of comforter, hiding his face against her chest, shielding his embarrassment of this emotional outburst. He couldn't help it though. Too many years of torment, too many lies, too much manipulation, too much pain…so much death…had taken its toll. He never broke down as he had nearly mastered the art of masking and redirecting his inner turmoil. But Hermione had cut him to the quick and couldn't hold it in any longer, even though he wanted to desperately. And the dagger that did the cutting was her love; the fact she'd said she loved him. He knew it was truth and it absolutely broke him.

Severus' breath caught in his throat a couple times as Hermione held him, a tear finally slipping from her own eye. How she wished she could take the painful memories away from him but all she could do was hope to provide better ones now. "It's okay," she whispered, hand smoothing his black hair. "It's all okay, Severus." When she pulled away, his hands immediately went to his face.

"I'm so sorry," he apologized, voice shaky and ragged, as he wiped his wet face, sure he was a sight. "Forgive me…how humiliating…"

Hermione gently pushed his hands away, revealing streaks from tears and puffy eyes, understanding he was embarrassed. She cupped his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. "Nonsense," she said, as that was what he'd told her when she'd said the same thing months ago. "You were there during my most vulnerable moment. Now I'm here with you during yours. I'd say that creates a pretty special bond between us, Severus."

He shook his head as one of her hands moved to the back of his hair and the other fell to her lap. "I've never broke down like this," he admitted, wiping his face again, sounding a little more like himself. "I've never allowed it. I was always afraid it wouldn't stop once it started, that it would spiral out of control."

"Can we talk now?" she asked, playing with the soft hairs that met the base of his neck, trying to ignore his 'moment' in the hopes of making it easier for him. "I haven't liked the way things have been between us lately."

"Neither have I," he admitted, slipping his arms around her as she remained in his lap, guilt filled eyes looking up at her. "Please accept my apology for my behavior. I wasn't meaning to hurt you. I just…"

"I know what you were doing," she told him. "I understand. I'm not mad. Not anymore. But we can't keep having these issues. Severus, you can read my mind. You know my feelings are sincere. Voldemort has been destroyed. He is not coming back. You will not hurt me."

"There's so much darkness, Hermione," he said, eyes clouded by the horrible past he would almost give his own life to forget. "So much…I could never tell you enough so that you could understand. I'm haunted constantly…daily…but now with you…you offer relief…a reprieve from that darkness…I don't know how to accept it sometimes as I don't think I deserve it."

"You do deserve it but you have to let me in…and let me stay in," Hermione told him. "You can't push me away anymore. I can't deal with the roller coaster like what we've had."

"I know," he said quietly, reaching for her hand. "And then this whole dance mess…"

"Dance mess?"

He shook his head. "I had to stand there and watch you dance with someone else," he answered. "When I wanted to be the one to hold you, even though I knew I couldn't. And then when he kissed you…"

She smiled. "You _were _jealous!" she said with a slight laugh. "I can't believe it."

He grinned sheepishly. "I sound ridiculous," he told her, rolling his eyes. "But it's you. It's the affect you have on me. I can't pretend this isn't real." He paused, bringing her hand to his lips and kissing the top of it, then reached up and slid his hand into her hair, enjoying the softness. "I wanted to be the one to dance with you and hold you close, not stand and watch as someone else did it. It was so hard." His thumb grazed her cheek, rubbing lightly. "I felt like a hormonal jealous teenager and hated every second of it. I didn't know how to act or how to handle myself."

She smiled, leaning into the touch of his hand, not wanting him to stop. "Is that all you want?" she asked curiously, knowing if she was going to bring up this subject, now was a perfect time. "Do you just want to be able to dance with me?"

His thumb rubbed over her lips, eyes never straying from hers, knowing this was the question between them that needed asking and answering. "Silly girl," he said with affection. "I want to see your face when I wake up in the morning. I want you by my side when I work on potions in my lab. I want you sitting beside me reading while I'm grading tests. I want you waiting for me in bed in the evening. I want your body underneath me in the middle of the night when our love becomes physical." He paused, slightly shaking his head at his own words. "As crazy as I might be for this, I just want you. And that terrifies me."

Her heart was pounding, listening to what he was telling her. "You want me?" she repeated. "As in…me and no one else? Sort of like a relationship?"

"Yes," he answered, hardly able to believe what he was saying but knowing he wanted nothing more. "You and me, Hermione. No one else. I know you'll be graduating soon but…we'll just deal with that when the time comes."

Hermione hugged Severus quickly. "We're not crazy," she told him. "And please don't let this terrify you. You've got enough that haunts you. This should provide happiness. You have a beautiful smile. And a wonderful laugh. There's a side of you that most would never believe exists. That's what I want. None of us know what's going to happen in the future. You have to live for today."

"You don't care about our age difference?" he asked curiously, thinking of the student that held her. "You don't look at younger men and want them instead?"

She knew exactly what he was referring to. "When Richard kissed me," she began. "It meant nothing. I did nothing that night but want you."

"Really?" He didn't know why he asked it but it slipped from his lips before he had time to stop it, thinking he sounded like a child.

"Yes, really. I want _you_. I mean it, Severus."

Gently slipping her from his lap, he stood up, sliding his hands through her hair before cupping her face, eyes gazing at her in wonder. "I love you, Hermione," he whispered, leaning down to touch her lips with his. "No more roller coaster."

Her arms around his waist, she pulled him close as he nuzzled her neck and ear, breathing heavily and tracing the outside of her ear with his tongue, shivers flooding through her body. "Make love with me," she whispered as her body ached for his touch. She'd never used that term to describe any of their times together as she didn't think it was accurate by any means. But now was different, even more so than the few days she'd spent in his chamber.

He felt her press her body to his, recognized the desire building, knew his own longing was slowly taking over. Moaning and grinding his hips and hardness against her, he whispered, "It's been so long since I've let myself go with another."

"Let's change that," she said, pushing from him and reaching for his hand. "Come on."

Severus allowed her to lead him into his own bedroom, surprised when she began to take her clothes off. "Wait," he said, reaching for her hands and pushing them from her blouse. He bent down and picked her up, gently laying her on the plush black satin comforter, crawling on top of her, smiling down at the young woman underneath him. "Have I told you how beautiful you are?" he asked, brushing stray locks from her face.

"I don't know about beautiful," she said truthfully. It wasn't a word she'd ever use to describe herself.

"Well I do," he said. "I've been a fool. No more. I promise."

"Don't promise," she said, shaking her head.

"I don't make promises lightly," he said gravely. "I think you understand what I mean."

She nodded but said nothing, her arms around his neck, pulling him to her. His lips were soft as they joined again, their mouths quickly opening to allow further exploration, pent up desire quickly released as his tongue plunged into her mouth, groaning and pressing his body to her.

He needed to tell her about when he'd opened his mind, not wanting to keep that a secret any longer. It had been bothering him ever since it happened. "I have to tell you something," he whispered. "There was a time not too long ago when I…well I allowed my mind to open to yours."

"Where were we?"

"We were in bed actually," he answered. "And I'm sure you'll remember hearing me say 'I love you' in your head. Am I correct?"

Hermione's mouth dropped. "That was you?" she asked. "I thought it was just me making it up. And…oh my god…I said it back…well thought it back."

He smiled slightly. "Yes you did," he agreed. "I just wanted to tell you that was me."

"It's okay," she said. "I remember that time was pretty…intense."

"We could do that again," he offered. "Actually it's the most intimate you could ever be with someone. I've only done it with one other. I'd like to share it again with you."

Hermione felt as if she'd received the invitation of a lifetime, something that would only be theirs. She was a little nervous about him being privy to every single thought she would have but found it sensual at the same time. Nothing would be hidden from each other and that was quite enticing. "Okay," she said.

"It's a little odd at first," he told her. "But you'll get used to it."

"Just kiss me," she instructed him with a grin, pulling him to her, crashing their lips together in a feverish wet kiss. She was used to her own thoughts, relishing in his body on hers, his hardness pressing against her core, loving his taste and how their mouths entwined together but now she was aware of his thoughts. His desire was almost all consuming, rushing through his body and her mind, revealing his most private thoughts. As hands began to roam while mouths remained tangled, Hermione felt as if she were riding a roller coaster whose speed increased with every minute that passed until she finally had to pull away breathless, hoping the break the bond for a moment.

"You all right?" he whispered.

She was nearly panting. "Intense," she breathed. "It's okay."

"Don't fight it," he purred. "Just allow yourself to be whisked away in the blend of our minds. Relinquish control, Hermione."

His voice…his words…they were enough to cause her core to tighten in anticipation, pushing her hips up against his. "Okay," she said. "I trust you."

Their lips met again as Severus tried to hold back but found it impossible. His desire to be with her, to please her, overwhelmed him as it were. He wanted her to know, to understand that he _was_ capable of loving and caring. He wanted her to feel what he felt, to prove to her his love, even though he knew he didn't have to. He wanted her to experience his depth fully.

Hermione was reeling in intoxication, not from wine but from the mesh of their desires, doubling her pleasure, quickly driving her mad with want. She told herself to relax, to just have the experience because she did trust him completely, knowing he wouldn't do anything that she couldn't handle.

Slowly they slipped off each other's clothing, taking their time, both wanting to savor the anticipation of the physical consummation of their new admittance of love, and putting it off at the same time, knowing that once they allowed their bodies to join it wouldn't last but a few moments because of their already joined minds and hearts.

Hermione groaned as his mouth found her breasts, taking his time with each one, kissing around the soft mounds in slow lazy circles until taking each hard nipple in his mouth gently, as that was what she wanted him to do he learned, causing a streak of electricity to run from the tips of the small pebbles down to her throbbing inner core and back again, making her hips grind against his. "Severus," she whispered, grabbing handfuls of his silky hair. "How long…"

"Whenever you want," he growled, nipping at her neck, eliciting small gasps from her, already knowing what she wanted.

"I need you," she whispered, pulling his hips to her, realizing she was craving for him to be inside her physically and for their minds to mesh emotionally. "Now…"

Severus knew they were in for a wild ride, albeit a short one, knowing their time together would last longer the more they got used to each other's thoughts. _Look at me_, he thought as her eyes opened to meet his. _Don't look away. _He slid inside her slowly as the second he filled her, it was as if some of Fred and George's Exploding Poppers went off in their minds and bodies, Hermione's groans and feelings of ecstasy reverberating inside his mind, causing his pleasure to instantly double in intensity, reverberating back into her mind, causing hers to practically quadruple in mere seconds, their bodies not able to keep up with their exploding passions, both crying out in a frantic, and somewhat surprised, release from their combined climax, echoing inside the other, over and over, their shared orgasms lasting almost longer than they could handle physically.

As the reverberating slowed between them, both were panting as if they'd run a lap around the castle, chests heaving together, Severus' body collapsed on top of hers, neither of them able to move. What seemed like minutes passed before either said anything.

"Damn," was all Hermione could manage to whisper, fighting to control her breathing, her body still tingling and mind still reeling.

Panting himself, Severus knew he needed to remove himself from her but couldn't just yet. It had been so long; he'd forgotten exactly just how powerful that experience could be, especially when the other person had never done it before. Each time from now on would last a little longer, especially as Hermione became accustomed to the sensations. "Ditto," he breathed, forcing his arms to move, to push himself off of her somehow, thankful she was attempting to wiggle out from underneath him to help.

Both finally ended up lying on their back, staring up at the ceiling, amazed at what they'd just shared, almost speechless. It took a few minutes for the world around them to spin back into place as their perception had been drastically altered temporarily.

When Severus reached for her hand, Hermione smiled and turned her head to face him. "You should have warned me," she told him.

He faced her then. "And how would I have explained it?" he asked. "Some things you just have to experience."

The love flowing through Hermione felt as if it would tear her apart at the seams, and she wondered if everyone was fortunate enough to have it feel like this.

"No," he answered, having left his mind in tact with hers on purpose. "Most people never experience this." He rolled over on his side and smiled at her. "I'm feeling the same extreme emotion as you."

She turned to face him also, feigning a frown. "I do believe you should tell me when you're doing that," she said, not really caring if he did or not, knowing he would know that now too and laughing quietly.

He touched her cheek, his fingertips grazing her flushed skin lightly, and said, "I must say I'm glad that you didn't allow me to push you away. I never thought I'd be pleased with Gryffindor feistiness."

"You also weren't planning on all the events happening this year leading us together either," she pointed out.

"Truth again," he agreed. "I certainly never would have imagined your seventh year involving _me _in this manner." He reached for her body, his arm over her waist. "But I wouldn't change any of it."

"So Dumbledore and Ginny are the only ones that know then," she stated. "The other two I'm not counting of course."

"Of course," he agreed. "And yes they are the only ones that know."

"I won't tell anyone else," she said, suddenly feeling extremely tired.

"Me neither," he agreed. "We can't risk it."

Hermione yawned. "Can I take a nap?" she asked. "Just for a few minutes?"

He smiled, realizing he could probably fall asleep as well. "Of course," he answered, watching her for a few minutes before his own heavy eyelids began to close.

* * *

An hour later, Hermione awoke, arms and legs entwined with his, her head on his chest. She lifted her head to look at the clock, realizing they'd missed dinner in the hall. _Oh well,_ she thought. Her movement had awakened Severus as his eyes fluttered open.

"What time is it?" he whispered, stretching his long legs.

"Almost eight," she answered. "Should I go?"

"No," he said, gently pressing her head back to his bare chest, one hand around her body and the other rubbing her hair. "Not just yet. Unless you want to."

She deeply inhaled his scent and answered, "Not particularly."

"Good."


	13. Decision for the Future

I know, I know…I've been remiss in posting this 'short' last chapter. I've had some personal issues going on which have affected me being able to finish. But I've finished now…I hope you have enjoyed. Since it's been awhile, let's recap just a bit before we wrap this up shall we?

**Chapter 1** – Hermione loses her virginity to Draco and then finds herself pregnant.

**Chapter 2** – Hermione brews a potion to dissolve the pregnancy, has serious complications and ends up in Severus' care.

**Chapter 3** – Uncomfortable morning between the two before she visited Poppy to tell her what happened. Class was also uncomfortable causing Hermione to think maybe Severus had said something to Draco so she used truth serum on him to find out, running into Severus afterwards. In a heated discussion, she slapped him and he'd violently grabbed her.

**Chapter 4** – Severus struggles with his thoughts and gives Hermione detention but apologizes for the incident in the staircase and gives her an "assignment" of the personal kind.

**Chapter 5** – Hermione didn't go to Hogsmeade because she went to see Severus instead, sharing an erotic moment with him by the window.

**Chapter 6** – Ginny caught Hermione in a lie about who she saw when everyone was at Hogsmeade. Draco is still after her. Hermione has another detention where they finally kiss but Severus retreats realizing he is beginning to feel for her.

**Chapter 7** – Draco attacked Hermione in the hall and Severus comes to the rescue but ends up temporarily disrobing her out of his frustration. She follows him to give him a piece of her mind that ended up with them finally having sex. Ginny told her she'd used the map and saw she had been in Severus' chambers. Hermione told her later what was going on. Severus receives an owl from Lucius.

**Chapter 8** – Severus warns Hermione of Lucius' visit to the castle. Lucius meets with Severus basically as a distraction so Draco can kidnap Hermione and leave a fake note. Lucius and Draco take advantage of her physically.

**Chapter 9** – Draco tells Hermione that he and his father know of her and Severus and the abortion. Severus visit the Malfoy mansion to confirm Hermione is there. Severus had to tell Dumbledore of him and Hermione. She was returned to Hogwarts and met with Dumbledore and then Severus.

**Chapter 10** – Hermione stayed with Severus in his chambers while everyone was gone for the holidays. During sex, he opened up his mind to her, but didn't tell her, and she heard him think "I love you". Dumbledore visited them to tell them Draco had been expelled.

**Chapter 11** – Hermione tells Harry and Ron about what happened over the holidays. Severus and Hermione began to see each other. Frustration builds however with his insecurities and when the dance comes around, Hermione goes with a fellow Gryffindor, causing Severus to be jealous. She approached Severus after class one day and got in a huge fight, ending up going to see Dumbledore.

**Chapter 12** – Hermione went to see Severus again and called him out on his feelings for her, causing him to break down emotionally. They decide to be serious about a relationship and consummate it with Severus allowing his mind to open again and telling her about it this time so they could share the experience.

I wrote and read and re wrote and re read this chapter…I kept feeling like I needed to add more…but I really couldn't without dragging it into more chapters…which I didn't want to do…I hope you like anyway…oddly enough…in my new story featuring Ginny and Remus (called Moonlight Healing) I'm sort of continuing this relationship with Severus and Hermione (with slight changes) even though the story isn't focused on them anymore…I didn't plan it that way…it just happened really…check it out…hope you enjoy this conclusion nonetheless…

* * *

Hogwarts students went about their daily lives, listening to transfiguring lessons, struggling with potions, cramming for tests, gossiping about who was dating who, fussing about the latest detention or extra roll of parchment required, oblivious to the fact that Hermione Granger, the famous brainy seventh year Gryffindor, was now involved in a relationship with the sneering, growling potions teacher and Slytherin head of house. Only Albus and Ginny noticed the quick glances, the slightest smirks and the hidden meanings behind the seemingly sarcastic comments thrown at the other. Hermione was still the first to raise her hand, and in his classes, he still rolled his eyes and looked for someone else to call on. Once in awhile, she would get a bit sassy, purposely earning herself detention, and would nearly skip all the way to the dungeons.

Seventh years talked non stop about what they would be doing after receiving their graduation order, some continuing their school, other working with the Ministry in various internships while many others were moving away, unsure of when they would see their friends again. Hermione had been so caught up in her happiness with Severus, she'd pushed aside whatever thoughts she'd entertained the year before. He tried a couple times to bring it up but she always changed the subject, insisting she had plenty of time to figure things out. When she was honest with herself, she couldn't imagine leaving him but dared not tell him that. At least not yet.

Hermione fought to hide the glow that tried to emanate from her body. She was teased endlessly by Ginny and even caught a wink from Albus periodically. She'd never been happier in her life. Even though her time was spent mainly in damp dungeons with a man definitely more 'dark' than 'light', her days still passed in a blur of giddiness as the sun shone every day and the birds were always singing, as far as she was concerned. There was no wrong in the world even though others certainly would have thought _her_ world _was_ completely wrong.

Severus had a more difficult time trying to keep his change in persona in check, as was to be expected. Unfortunately, he'd heard a few comments from students in that they did notice a difference, thinking that he'd somehow turned almost civil, sneering and yelling less than usual. He thought he would have a problem with his lack of scorn, but quickly realized each time Hermione would bounce into the classroom at night and flash her smile his way, that he didn't. He didn't miss causing students to look away from him in fear. He didn't miss barking out detentions and extra assignments to them. He didn't even miss berating Neville who hadn't brewed a correct potion in his life.

What he _did_ miss was Hermione when she'd have to leave his chambers to return to her own dormitory. Every once in awhile, she'd take Harry's invisibility cloak and sneak down to spend most of the night with him, returning before everyone else woke, always reminding himself graduation was only a month away, thankful the cloak would no longer be needed then but also concerned with what would happen after. While he gave her most of his heart, as much as he could anyway, Severus kept a bit guarded, assuming she would leave after she graduated, a farewell he wished like hell he wouldn't have to say.

* * *

One evening as Severus watched Hermione walk into the bedroom from the bathroom, he frowned in concern and asked, "Are you feeling all right?" He'd noticed the past couple weeks that she'd looked stressed and tired and knew she'd been spreading herself thin between late nights in his chambers and late nights studying.

Guilty eyes meeting his, Hermione shook her head. "Not really," she answered truthfully, knowing she'd never get away with a lie. "I was sick."

"That explains why you're pale," he observed, turning down the cover for her as she laid beside him. "What did you eat for dinner?" He pressed his palm to her forehead, still frowning, but not feeling a temperature.

"Not much," she answered. "I'll be fine though. Just nervous about graduation I guess. You know how I am."

He studied her for a moment, thinking for the hundredth time that while it was odd to see her beside him, it also felt like the most natural thing in the world. "If it happens again, I will insist you see Poppy," he said in his best professor voice.

"Yes Sir," she said with a smile, turning towards him, snuggling her body against his, her arm across his body. "I'll be glad when I can wake up beside you again." She remembered how she had enjoyed greeting the morning in his arms the few days she stayed with him over the holidays.

He turned slightly to kiss the top of her head, inhaling the scent of her shampoo briefly, thinking he'd never enjoyed vanilla so much. "That would make two of us," he agreed, voice softer than his earlier questioning. "Not much longer." The statement that should have held nothing but happiness contained a bit of dread that he couldn't disguise.

As she glanced at the pages of the book in his hands, not really reading any of the words, Hermione wondered if this was the time to bring up what would happen _after_ graduation. He'd tried to talk about it but she'd always put it off, because she really didn't have an answer yet, but she couldn't ignore the tone in his voice. As she toyed with the sleeve of his nightshirt, she said, "You know, we haven't really…_talked_…about graduation, although you have tried to broach the subject."

Severus' chest slowly rose and fell, exhaling a breath that he'd been suppressing for weeks it seemed. "Yes I have tried," he agreed. "I knew better than to push you." Although he knew the love they shared, he was truthfully expecting her to leave. After all, she was brilliant so why should she stay? For him? It was hardly the kind of person she was and he wouldn't allow it anyway.

"I haven't completely decided," Hermione said quietly, noticing his arm muscles tighten under her touch. "But I'm really leaning towards teaching."

"Teaching?" he repeated, closing his book and spelling it to the night table. "Why teaching?"

Hermione turned over to face him, her hand between her chin and his chest, as his arm slipped around her. "Because I think that's what I'd like to do," she answered, her eyes meeting his, feeling his fingers dance lightly on her back. "I want to make a difference with the students. There are so many here who have made a huge difference to me. I thought about teaching years ago."

His other hand combed through her brown locks, fanning them out over his body and her shoulder. "I, of course, will not tell you what to do or make any suggestions as I know you will do what you want anyway," he said with a smirk. "But I will ask that you make sure your ultimate decision has more to do with your goals and abilities than your feelings for me."

"How can you ask that?"

"Because of _my_ feelings for _you_," he answered, touching her cheek with the fingertips that had just run through her soft hair. "Hermione, you're young and smart and beautiful. The possibilities of what you can do are endless. I'm twenty years older than you, and while we don't think it's an issue, the reality around us says it could be. Hogwarts is home to me. I highly doubt I will ever go anywhere or do anything any different. I don't really want to quite honestly. But you don't have to remain here. You can travel. You could go to any country you desire. The Ministry could…"

"Do you honestly think I want to work for them after what I've seen them do?" Hermione asked with a little more attitude than she meant. "I mean, I know they've straightened themselves out a bit but I really don't think that's the type of organization I want to work for."

He understood what she was saying. "I know," he said quietly. "But I also don't want you to have any…_regrets_…later. I couldn't bear it…not after…" Immediately, he felt soft lips on his, silencing him. He gently gripped her arms below her shoulders and pushed her from him, determined to finish his thoughts. "Promise me your decision will not be based on me."

"Severus, I…"

"Promise me!" he growled, the tone of his voice and fierceness in his ebony eyes a ghostly reminder of his outbursts in the past.

"I promise!" she exclaimed instantly, startled by his aggressive action as she hadn't seen that side of him in a couple months. As his grip loosened slightly, their eyes locked in a battle of wills, she pressed her hands flat against his chest to brace herself, not wanting to discuss graduation any more. "Can we…I mean…I need to forget about it for now," she said, clenching the material of his nightshirt in her fists. "Just…please…make me forget…."

Severus saw the hunger dancing in her eyes, heard the pleading in her voice, quickly rolling her over and covering her body with his. As his mouth claimed hers in a wet kiss, hands roaming and squeezing, no more words were spoken of graduation.

* * *

"Miss Granger," Professor Dumbledore was saying. "Are you positive about this? I would love to have you as a professor, of course, but are you absolutely sure? With your level of intellect, you could have your choice among many professions."

"I'm positive," she answered. "I've never been more certain of anything. I just wanted…needed… your approval and blessing before I told Severus my decision."

Elderly eyes looked at the young girl atop his half moon shaped spectacles. "I know you've thought this through," he said. "So I will, of course, not question you but put faith in you instead, as I did with Severus so many years ago. Congratulations, my dear."

"Thank you so much, Professor," Hermione said, feeling a huge weight lift from her shoulders. Telling Albus wasn't as scary as she had anticipated but knew Severus could be another story.

* * *

"Come on, Hermione," Ron whined a couple weeks later as he sat with Harry, Ginny and her by the lake studying. "Tell us what your plans are. We've all told you what we're doing or at least what we're hoping to do."

Harry had a position waiting for him in the Ministry while Ron was going to work with Charlie for awhile, learning more about dragons. Ginny still had another year but was seriously considering being a medi witch and becoming an intern at Hogwarts to work with Poppy.

"I'm sorry but I just can't right now," Hermione told them. "Please try to understand I'm just not in a position to yet. I'm still working out some details that I'm not permitted to speak of."

"Is it some kind of secret mission?" Harry teased, giving her a small wink. "As long as it's not dangerous."

"It's not dangerous and it's not exactly a secret mission," she answered with a smile. "But it won't be long. I promise."

* * *

Graduation day came much too quickly for most. The graduating students had a special breakfast with their families, some having arrived by floo and others by the train, before Albus took them on a tour of Hogwarts, allowing the students time to prepare for the ceremony and the house elves to prepare the Great Hall.

Hermione listened to the chaos that seemed to ensue in the common room as her friends ran around, trying to find their robes and hats and shoes and whatever else they'd misplaced. She watched as they fussed with their make up and hair, realizing with a silent chuckle that had it not been for Severus and their future, she would be acting the same way. She was indeed the calmest one.

As Hermione walked into the Great Hall, she didn't fight tears like the others did. She flashed a quick smile towards Severus but listened intently as Albus and a few other professors delivered their speeches, knowing that she was not leaving this place that had grown to become her home. It wasn't an ending to her but a beginning.

* * *

After the ceremony was over, there was a huge crowd in the center of the Great Hall as the students joined their families, hugging and taking pictures. She found her parents chatting with the Weasleys, hugged them, but told them they'd have to wait a few minutes as there was something she needed to take care of first.

Pushing her way through the crowd, she found Severus ending a conversation with Minerva.

"Severus," she said, as her previous head of house walked away. "I've made my decision. I'm staying here with you and teaching. I've already talked to Albus and received his approval."

His eyes enlarged upon hearing her words. "Hermione, you promised me you would not make this decision based on me," he reminded her, trying to keep his voice quiet. "Please tell me you heeded my wish."

She smiled as her heart pounded inside her chest, ignoring those around her, not caring to be quiet or keep secrets any longer. "I didn't make it based on you," she told him truthfully. "Although you were involved."

"What are you saying?" he asked, still keeping his voice down, trying to ignore the people milling around the two of them, casting glances their direction. "How did you not make it based on me and have me still involved?"

"I made the decision based on something else," she answered with an excited smile. "Severus, I made the decision to stay based on…our child."

His eyes enlarged again. Did he hear her correctly? He glanced around nervously before allowing his eyes to meet hers in the unspoken question.

"I thought he or she would be better off with both parents together," she continued, waiting anxiously for his reaction.

"Our child?" he asked, eyes wide as saucers. "You…you're…"

Hermione was grinning and nodding. "Almost six weeks," she told him.

"A child," he said, more to himself than to her. "Our child? And you…you're…we're… keeping it?" A child was never something that he thought would be a part of his life and had given up entertaining the idea at this point. He almost couldn't believe it. A father. Him. _Him?_

"I want nothing more," she answered confidently, reaching for his hands, not caring who saw them as it didn't matter now anyway. "Are you happy? Severus, please tell me you're not mad."

"Mad?" he repeated. "I am certainly not mad. Surprised? Indeed." He squeezed her hands. "Are you positive? Hermione, this is a huge decision. I mean, a child? Us having a child? Maybe we should…I mean…with my past…"

"Severus," she said, oblivious to the stares they were now receiving. "I love you. I want to be here with you. I want to keep the child…if you do. If you don't, then I'll…"

"No!" he exclaimed instantly, remembering the circumstance that ironically brought them together in the first place. "I don't want that. I just want to make sure that you're positive about this decision." He pulled her close to him, his hands on her waist, ignoring the multitude of looks and whispers floating around them. "I love you as well and would love nothing more than for you to stay here. And a child? I…well…I just don't even know what to say, Hermione. I just never thougt after everything I've done…"

Hermione looked around as most of the noisy conversations had stopped, replaced instead with muffled whispers, almost all eyes on them. She grinned, blushing slightly and said, "We're being watched, dare I say we've been discovered."

Severus looked around as well and then back down at Hermione. "Let them stare," he told her, sliding both his hands up to her face, his thumbs grazing her cheeks. "I've never given a damn about their stares anyway." This girl…no this _woman_, pregnant with their child, would no longer be hidden. A feeling swept over him that he was almost certain he'd never experienced before. He was _proud. _There were still questions in his mind but they would talk more later in private. For now, he couldn't hide his smile.

"Me either," she said before his lips touched hers, both stifling a laugh as they heard quiet gasps around them, knowing there would be explaining to do later, but not caring in the slightest. They'd found happiness and that's all that mattered.

Albus looked over at them, catching their eyes, and winked, knowing Hogwarts would never been the same.


End file.
